Episode Transcript
[00:00:11] Speaker A: Yes, sir.
Welcome to the Kimi Paul. I'm your host, B.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: And I'm Q. The Don.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: And listen, man, welcome back to the show, man. You know, it been maybe a week, you know what I'm saying? We ain't putting nothing out of it, but now we back at it again, man, and we just flowing with it.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Yeah, it's been a week. That mean y' all could go and listen and let it marinate in your spirit. Let it sizzle in your spirit.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Yes, sir. Yeah, man. What we got today, man? Before we really actually got started, man, we was talking about basketball. I know it ain't part of the show, but we was talking about basketball.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: It's part of the show now.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: Well, I was getting ready to say for Riley, right?
How she.
Okay, we was talking about basketball and how when I was playing, if you do anything kind of crazy, right, you know, the coach will pull you out. You know what I'm saying? And so, you know, even though you can get in your bag and even, I guess some of that stuff, you gotta practice, too. You gotta do this in practice, man. You can't really get in the game and try something new. And then the coach be like, boy, what you doing? You know what I'm saying?
[00:01:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: And so with me, I keep thinking about Ferrari, man. Like, I think, you know, even though as good as she is, man, you know, some of the mistakes that she be making, sometimes I be thinking that those are some of the things that she ain't doing in practice. And some of her teammates ain't really ready for some of them passes, man. Cause you get somebody doing some crazy pass when you thinking they getting ready to shoot and they passing the ball and you already setting up, basically trying to get in position to get the rebound just in case.
And then they throwing you the ball, making you look bad.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: And then, yeah, it's that blame, man. I used to. I play with. And I had the opportunity to play with some good point guards, like, just throughout life, man, some of them boys, they passing was so advanced, it was way past us. Like, man, I'm talking about. I'm thinking they getting ready. Like, okay, I know this player. So I'm thinking they about to go make their move. So I'm turning to go ahead and get ready for the rebound. Next thing I know, the ball coming to me. So the coach pulling me, like, you ain't paying attention. I'm like, I'm paying attention, but I ain't.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that really what it is, though.
And some of that Stuff really you got to practice at practice so your team, so your teammate can know what you're doing, what you're getting ready to do.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: That's why chemistry is so game. Yeah, chemistry is so important, bro. And I think like, you know, to segue into different stuff, man. Chemistry is important on a lot of different aspects, man.
Team building and whether that be relationship, friendships, whatever you, you know, whatever you got going on. Team building and chemistry, bro, that is very important. And, and I think like to segue into a little bit of what we was going to talk about. We were talking the other day and I was just saying like how it's so hard to get like men to get on one accord, bro. It's hard to get the chemistry down with men. Like I don't know what it is but like when you trying to, it's kind of like you be running your head into a wall a little bit. You feel me trying to, you know, get things together.
What you think is the cause of that, bro?
[00:03:15] Speaker A: It probably a whole lot of stuff that go on. Cause everybody, most men is most, most of the time they guard it, you know what I'm saying, With their feelings. And we always gonna be watching people, which is reason why we don't see a whole lot of men in churches today. And I heard somebody say the reason why a lot of men don't go to church is because they see through the pastor, you know what I'm saying? And most times you have women in the church, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes they don't see certain stuff. So even when we going into a settings where it should be like your guard shouldn't be up, men guard still be up.
And, and a lot of times we be looking at things through the lenses of our experiences and what we experience and sometimes they can, that right there can go down a deeper rabbit hole to you know, like what's going on under the surface with the individual, you know what I'm saying? Depending on how they've been raised. But, but mostly I think that most men just guarded. They just want to be guarded. And the Bible do speak about being guarded or guarding your heart, you know, in certain instances. But most of the time men just want to, you know, scope things out and look at the situation before they go all the way in. But once you get them in, man, they loyal, you know what I'm saying?
For the most part, for most men.
So that's just my aspect of it though, man. Most men just guard it and they just wanna see, see things Through. See the whole process through before they lean in with certain things.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Okay? So. But to me, like. And I would agree with that, you know, that's just our natural thing to be guarded. But at what point do you say, like, you know, let's say for an example, you know, we trying to start this male group. We trying to start some male positivity stuff. At what point do you say, okay, I'm gonna be vulnerable. I'm gonna let my guard down and actually see what this is about, like. Cause to me, I think that's being my biggest issue. To even get males to see outside of self, see outside of what their norm is like, to even give stuff a chance. Like, to me, that's been my biggest issue. Like, y' all won't even give it a chance if you get in it and you don't like it, that's one thing. If you see something that you think maybe, you know, Florida or something like that, all right, that's one thing. But a lot of times, bro, we ain't even getting guys to give it a chance. Like, and it feel like when you doing something negative or when you. When you want to turn up, when you. When you on that type of time, you gotta. You gotta crew of people that you can call. But when. If you. You talking about positivity, bro, it's like pulling teeth, man.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: I think because of the work that come along with it most of the time, when you think about the things that people in. I just had this conversation with my siblings yesterday, you know, when. When we was in the season of churning up, you know what I'm saying? A lot of times, for a lot of people who start their life out turning up a whole lot, they start getting into alcohol, smoking, weed, just the drugs part of everything. But it start off as fun, though, you know what I'm saying?
Just kind of turning up. Then what happened is that, you know, when life start hitting hard as they get older and life start hitting, you know what I'm saying? Then they turned to the very thing that they was just turning up on, and it became a thing of addiction, you know what I'm saying? They needed it. It kind of depend on it. And see. So a lot of times you see a lot of people just really stuck in a specific place in their life, man. They just can't get past, man. And, you know, I always often think that when we haven't built communities like this right here, a lot of times it require a level of work, man. And a lot of times people then kind of got hooked on other things throughout their life. And it's hard.
And I'm imagining it is hard, man. Like, I mean, I use me, for example, like alcohol, you know what I'm saying? Like, I had an issue with drinking alcohol. It's crazy. At one point in time, I ain't never in my life ever like alcohol When I was growing up, you know what I'm saying, When I say growing up in my early 20s. But then, like, when, you know, something happened in my life, man, and got invited out and, you know what I'm saying, I just took one drink, and I felt good.
And that right there what start my addiction of just being on alcohol, because when life hits, I just kind of, you know what I'm saying? Just wanted a little sip.
And then that little sip turned into a big issue, you know what I'm saying, later on in my life. And so it was easy for me to be around people with the same type of thing, you know what I'm saying? Same addiction. My mind wasn't really thinking about, like, being around other people, that Talking positive and stuff like that, because personally, you know, I ain't felt like I had no problems, you know what I'm saying? And that's the other part. The other aspect of it is, like, some. Some people just really don't feel like they got any issues, you know what I'm saying? Like, or they can stop and being around other positive people sometimes show you that mirror that you ain't ready to face yet.
[00:08:24] Speaker B: Yo, you just.
Bro, you hit so many gems just now that quick.
One of the things you said was picking up something that you. That was kind of like a helper to get through something that you was maybe going through, man. I think a lot of times the intent don't be to, you know, get on these things or to make these things a lifelong. A lifelong habit. But you're right, bro. Like, it. That's. That's very easy to. To, you know, find a coping mechanism in that. And also, like you said, man, this is when you get in front of people and you seeing people that's different than what you doing. It means I got to do work.
And I think, you know, a lot of times that. Dude, I never really thought about it like that, but that can, you know, that could kind of scare people off, because I'm comfortable in what I'm doing, and anything that you asking me right now is kind of gonna make me uncomfortable. And the human nature is to be familiar with what your surroundings are, to be comfortable where you are. So that can be a thing. And another thing I thought about was I was talking to a lady one day, she's a psychologist, and I was just explaining the same thing, you know, to her. And she said, you got to think.
When has man ever had a space where people actually cared about what they were thinking, what they were feeling?
And it made me sit down and think. She said, you're a man. She said, when have you ever sat down and been asked how you feel about something? What's your thought process? And it really mattered.
And I said, besides the relationship, that's never been a real thing. Like where we actually had those spaces. She said, okay, so now you gotta think, however old that male is, trying to introduce them to something new.
You gotta rewire years and years and years of this. And, man, that when she said that, man, it kinda got me thinking. I'm like, yo, is that a fight that I'm really up to? Like, am I really up for that fight? Cause, man, that's a lot of work, bro. And a lot of times that work feel like is.
It's like you. You doing the work, but ain't nobody meeting you halfway. And it's hard to work by yourself.
So, man, it did get discouraging. But after talking to you the other day as well, and you was like, bro, it requires the work, man. Yeah, you put like a battery in my back to keep on going, man. I really appreciate that because, like, it does get discouraging when you're doing stuff and you trying to, you know, trying to bring people up, up to a better thought process, a better way of living. And it's just like I'm talking to this wall right here. Cause ain't nothing shaking.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. Oh, I just got finished talking to my wife about that a few minutes ago on the way here, man. About how sometimes, you know, especially when you have compassion for people and you know what I'm saying, you have compassion for people to grow, it become even harder, though, because you know what I'm saying, like, man, this right here, I'm putting all my energy into this, man. And not, not now, one person trying to connect with or. Or want to connect with it. But truthfully, though, you know what I'm saying, if you can reach one, though, you know what I'm saying? That's really the motto. If you can reach one, just continue to do what you do. And see, you know, sometimes we can't see what in front of us. And one of the things that I had an issue with though, Q is because I do the mentorship for young boys. You know, this one particular kid, man, like, you know, like he really weigh on my heart, man, you know what I'm saying?
I often wonder like what's really going on because sometimes that he, he really, he really, really man, seem he have a lot of potential, but it's like he have the demons. It seemed like he had the demons that, that, that's, that's really on his back, you know what I'm saying? And sometimes it sometimes have him to act out in a way where you don't want to deal with him and, and I don't want to shun him, you know what I'm saying? But then I also realized that the more energy I put into him, then the less energy I'm putting in the kids that want this, right? And so like I'm not anybody hero or anything like that. And to play hero, man, that's something that takes a whole lot of energy and take you away from, pull you away from your purpose or what you really here for, you know what I'm saying? But I would say this though, you know what I'm saying? And I'm saying all this to say sometimes you just going to have to the ones that in it, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, you pour into that, you know what I'm saying? Oftentimes people come right. Come back around because again, when you get them there, I always really truly believe, man, the Holy Spirit get involved and you saying something that will probably pierce their heart. Excuse me, Pierce their heart and, and get them to kind of let their guard down.
That's when it take place down. What happened after that?
Like, you know, we already know, man. You know, we both, you know, godly men, you know, you can go to church and get a good word and soon as you get out that door, man, the devil right out there on your back again, most definitely, you know what I'm saying? So that's really what a lot of these men, a lot of us, including myself, you know, we feel, you know, as soon as you get an establishment of other men and, and you receiving what's what, what's you supposed to do, the information you need. As soon as you get back out there, man, your lady might get. You might get an argument or she might bring us something old or something may happen, you know what I'm saying? And it pull you and pull you right back into that because again, the devil could become to, to get that word up out your belly Man. Cause he don't want no change. And you know that change, really, that change is for not just you, but the generation after you, your lineage, you know what I'm saying? And so sometimes the enemy, not sometimes the enemy want just that, you know, once you change, man, he didn't change the whole bloodline, man.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: You, man, were you preaching today? Ain't it, man? You preaching today?
[00:14:22] Speaker A: Nah, nah, man.
But I was sitting here just thinking about that thing, man, and the reason why it's so important for community, you know, it's so important for a community, man. Like I went to something yesterday called Grits for gents. And I was just telling you about it yesterday, but I went there and one of the things the man said, man, he said a lot of information, but one of the things he said is a Harvard, they came out with a study from Harvard about community, you know what I'm saying? And when, you know, when men are in a community, like how we was yesterday, said the studies are, they live longer, you know what I'm saying? Because why he said because information is in that community, you know what I'm saying? And once you get hold to a level of information that you ain't know, then you gonna change some things of your life, you know what I'm saying? Alter your life cycle, offer your life, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Just your, your, your life in jeopardy, you know what I'm saying? So it's like community is just that
[00:15:25] Speaker B: important and that, and that's, that's, that's what I feel like. And that's, that's my deepest, that's my deepest thing with like the males because I, I look at a lot of males and I, and I understand like we fight fights by ourselves and, and our ladies, you know, they try to console us, but certain things about the fight they don't understand. Certain things about the fight they'll never understand. There's certain things about the fight we probably can't even tell them.
So that community aspect, man, that's something that I'm really passionate about building. And like you said, man, I feel like it, like the study is true because stress alone can get you out of here. So being able to sit around some people that you feel comfortable enough, even if you're in a group and you have one person that you can talk to, that beats going through the stuff that you go through by yourself, man.
I actually, a few guys actually, I think last week, what's some stuff that they wanted to talk about and wanted us to talk about. And one of the things that came up is what we're kind of speaking on now. Men being vulnerable with other men. Like I just want to let all guys know this, finding you people that you can talk to. Like you said, the community where you getting stronger, where you're building, there's nothing wrong with that, man. We got to learn to open up and learn how to let ourselves be in those spaces, in those moments where we can get that stuff off of us. Man, we battle a lot of stuff silently. We battle a lot of, a lot of tears shared by yourself.
And if we take off the cape, man, it's just we deal with a lot, a lot of stuff that people won't know how to process.
Whatever your situations is, we understand everybody, life is different, Everybody, you know, trauma stuff is different. But we got to allow ourselves and I'm going to repeat this. We got to allow ourselves in these spaces because man, stress will take you out of here, stress will kill you. And it's a lot of people that in their own life have contemplated suicide, thought about it, some that have even tried just because they don't have, they feel like they can't go to nobody, they can't talk to nobody, man. Find yourself some like minded guys and some godly people that can help you with that, man.
What's your take on it, man?
[00:17:43] Speaker A: Only thing I know is for me I would say this like just using my life as an example.
A lot of times I didn't have, you know, anybody particularly that I can counter relate to or go to or even feel like they understand me, you know what I'm saying?
And you know what kind of helped me is, I mean first of all, like church, you know what I'm saying? Getting involved with church or whatnot, I just, and I'm gonna put a pen there, man. One of the things that I have an issue with is, and I don't understand this, I guess. Well, I don't understand it. Maybe you can help me understand it. Like you know how men come in church and they just like sitting in the back like they hardcore or something like that, like, you know what I'm saying?
I don't know what is that like, listen, this is not a club scene. Like your back don't have to be against the wall, man.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: It's that cape mentality, man.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: It's like you must be in there.
[00:18:47] Speaker B: Oh, they definitely be on that, like mugging and all that. Like they be on that type of time. But like you said it's not a club. It's not.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: It ain't the block, man.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: Also, too.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: It ain't the block.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: It didn't used to be like that. What we have to separate the two is a lot of churches are conforming, and a lot of churches are starting to look like the world instead of the world looking like the church. So therefore, when people come in, they coming in with the same mentality. Like, because you look at a lot of churches, you look at the. I got the dark lights. I got the. The same way we got to sitting in here, that's the way the churches is. Why do you need the prop lights? Why do you need all that?
So we got to understand, like, that the house of God is supposed to be a place of reverence. So all that other stuff, that was a little sidebar. So the sitting in church.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Nah, that's n. That's fire. I wanted you to continue on.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, man.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: Continue on that path, man.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: It's crazy, man, because if you really think about it, bro, a lot of times, if there was no audio on the video, you wouldn't know if you was at a concert or if you was at a church. If there was no audio, you wouldn't know. Like. And sometimes, bro, you fog smoke, like, bro, for real. For real. But it's a thin line between, like, worldly trying to get people in, you know, trying to invite people into. Bro, we look like them. Like, you supposed to be sanctified and set apart. Like, that's what you're supposed to be as believers. You're not supposed to look like the world. So I think that in itself, we got to get a better hold on that, because there should be no reason why this church is the same looking the same way as a club.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Don't be trying to get too creative, man.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: No, it ain't that much.
[00:20:25] Speaker A: I think the creativity, trying to spice things up and be different.
I think some of that stuff. A lot of that stuff is worldly. And then when you go there, you feel good, but you still have the same yoke that you came in there with, right?
[00:20:43] Speaker B: And the Bible say that you should take on his yoke. So my thing, like you said, man, a lot of it is, I get the status. I understand. No, no, I don't understand the status. I get the concept of wanting to bring people in, but what I can't understand is why people can't be brought in the same way that we were brought in when we were growing up. I don't understand.
[00:21:09] Speaker C: Let me interject a Little bit, yeah.
[00:21:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't understand that
[00:21:14] Speaker C: you guys are church going fellas.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:20] Speaker C: Okay.
I am not. And my reason for not is what you're saying right now.
Everything you see about first off, you're not going to be telling me to be holier than that. You're holier than thou when you're doing the same things I'm doing. So of course there's that aspect of it and then there is the aspect of what you guys are talking about now. I don't need a concert. Like I'm personally, when I get invited to somebody's church, I ask them the same question every time. What time is the sermon? That's all I want to show up for. I just want to come get some word and go. I don't need the singing. I don't need nothing else. Let me leave my, let me leave my, my, let me pay my little ties. Whatever I'm gonna do, just let me get the word ties. I'm out. I don't need the extra stuff. So seeing a lot of that stuff is a turn off for a person like me who's like, has an extensive religious background.
Born Muslim.
Then was my grandmother was Catholic, so I went to Catholic. Then she was Baptist, so I was Baptist.
[00:22:28] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a whole lot.
[00:22:30] Speaker C: Was Protestant. At one point when I lived in Trinidad, I was what's called Anglican.
[00:22:34] Speaker B: Oh, that's crazy. I've never met nobody like that.
[00:22:37] Speaker C: Yeah. Came back here when I moved down south, I went to an AME university, so I went to the AME church. And to the point now where I'm at now is my aunt's a preacher for a non denominational church out of Augusta. So every now and then she make me come to church. I gotta drive to Augusta sick. Whenever she's speaking, you know, be there. I've been invited to a couple of churches here, but to me, like the show of it is what's a turnoff. And then not only that, when I sit down sometimes in the church and all you preaching is what's it called?
[00:23:08] Speaker B: Prosperity.
[00:23:09] Speaker C: Prosperity.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Prosperity preacher is a turn off for me from exactly.
[00:23:13] Speaker C: Like I went to a church with a girl I was trying to date and the second I walked in they was like, yeah, it was at the beginning of the year. So it was like sow your tithes. And if you sow a big tie,
[00:23:22] Speaker B: then you're not going to get right that prosperity preacher.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: You're not going to get back what you put in. And I'm like, well, my grandma told Me that and she was the most church going person I know. She just said give what you can.
But every time I walk into some of these churches it's you got to give, you got to get. And so it becomes a little for, for that I know I could sit home, I could get on, on YouTube and find some sermon that's being done, get my word and that be it. I don't have to go and do anything. So that's what I'm saying. Like when y' all the stuff you talking about where the world should mimic the church and not the church mimic the world, that's what's turning off a lot of people from going to church because I get enough social media on my phone.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: Right. Exactly.
That I want y' all to know what he just said is the whole point of this. Like there should be like for one, let me hop on this prosperity preaching for one.
That in itself I can't agree with that because God don't need your money. You can't pay God for a blessing. So I don't understand where and at what point did that become like the entire message and then the whole tithe thing in the Bible, they wasn't paying tithes as far as come bring. No, they would the first 10% of like your crops and all of that stuff. And that stuff was going to like, yeah, your first fruit like that was going to like widows and people like that. Like if I'm not mistaken, you could definitely fact check me but that I believe that's what it was for. So all this whole thing turning into a money grab. Like I've seen like and like you said, I've seen preachers or if you want to be blessed, give this amount. God don't work like that. That, that is a man made concept. God don't work like if you give $1,000, you going to get $1,000. Bless. He don't work like that. He reigns on the, on the just as well as the unjust. So everybody's going to get a little bit of blessings. But at the end of the day,
[00:25:08] Speaker C: bro, see but my question is if, if doesn't that negate the reason why I'm giving? If I'm giving to get back, you
[00:25:16] Speaker B: shouldn't be to me, you shouldn't be
[00:25:18] Speaker C: giving to get back.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: If you're giving, you can't, you can't outgive God. He, he, he owns everything. Like, like how can you outgive if you give to me and at my church, if we give, we're giving Just off, you know, we know that bills have to be paid at church. So this is what we.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: It's a law, though. A law like gravity have a law. You throw something up and it must go down.
Like giving and receiving.
That's part of that.
Well, I mean, giving, receive part of that.
If it's not, then you have a lot of philanthropists that gives a lot and they constantly give.
Jay Z said something on one of his, on his songs, though. He said, man, like something about this giving thing. He said he ain't knew it worked, you know what I'm saying? Got him a billionaire, you know what I'm saying?
[00:26:11] Speaker B: So
[00:26:14] Speaker A: I don't know the basis of it, but I believe that is a law where it's universal law that if whatever you give, you'll get back, you know what I'm saying? You get back. So it's like you sow a seed in the ground, you know what I'm saying? From that one seed, you produce a bunch of harvest, you know what I'm saying?
[00:26:31] Speaker C: Yeah, but what I'm saying, I'm talking about the motive behind the gift. If I'm giving, if I'm truly giving, like Jay Z, when he give, like he said, he said, I didn't notice worked like that.
So that means when he gave from
[00:26:44] Speaker B: his heart, he gave a pure gift.
[00:26:46] Speaker C: He didn't expect anything back.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Right, right, exactly.
[00:26:48] Speaker C: Stuff came back. You see what I'm saying? But when you sit down in those churches and I've been to a couple that's preached at, it's like, do this so you can get this. It's not, hey, you know, just give what you can, do what you can, whatever you can give your time to the church sometimes. What if I ain't got no money?
[00:27:06] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:27:07] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? Let me volunteer at the soup kitchen. I ain't got no money to give.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:27:10] Speaker C: I could spend time, you know, I could spend time mentoring the youth or whatever it is.
If I ain't got money, I got time. That's what everybody has, you know what I'm saying? So I, that's why I say if somebody's giving to the church or whatever, just because they're giving whatever, they're going to get back because of the purity of their gift.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Right.
[00:27:30] Speaker C: Not necessarily the pure heart in which. Now some people, I'm not saying in the churches that I have been to that preach that, that people aren't giving from their heart genuinely, but the way that it comes across is do this so you can get that.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: And see, that's not just.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: I can see that.
[00:27:47] Speaker B: And that's the thing you have to watch for. Because if you have somebody, like, if you have somebody that come into church, let's say they fresh off the street, they. They've never been in, and they don't know how church work.
Hearing messages like that, like, yo, this is scam. I don't want to be a part of this. Because it's a difference. The motive.
Every. Like, we know at our church, in order for these lights to keep on being on, in order for us to be able to have outreach, in order for us to do this stuff, it takes money. We're not going to act like we're foolish about it. It takes money. Okay.
But never at my church, and we've been operating for, I think, six years have we. Have my pastor ever said, I need y' all to come back around and put some more. Because people already know what they're gonna give when they get there.
They have a preset thing in their mind of what they're gonna give. And the Bible say, he loves a cheerful giver. So you should be giving from your heart anyway. That it shouldn't be. No motive. I'm not. When I give money in church, I'm not giving money to receive a blessing. That's just me personally.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: I think. I think the reason why I kind of got so far off is because you got car salesmen being pastors.
[00:28:51] Speaker B: Yeah, most definitely.
[00:28:52] Speaker C: It's true.
[00:28:53] Speaker B: You got like the Peter Pop Offs, like, I'm selling you. I'm selling you water. And then. Okay, so, yeah, imitation is a real thing. So. Oh, man, I see he done got rich doing this, right? Let me put my own spin on it.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: And it easy.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: And so now it's done. It's done. And then you got those church. Those people that grew up in church all their life, like the old mothers and the deacons and all that, who's gonna. Whatever that pastor say is that, that's gonna be law. So if I get my SSI check and I only got a thousand dollars, and that man say, give a hundred dollars, I'm going to give a hundred dollars. And if he call again and say, we need 50 more dollars, I'm gonna make that happen. Because I just love my church so much. It. People done being kind of like, programmed for that. But, like, that's not. That's not the premise of it.
[00:29:31] Speaker C: I got a story.
My aunt is really into the church, so my grandma passed years ago. This is before she passed.
I Think my aunt bought a washer and dryer and she was making payments on it.
She couldn't make the payments. Now, mind you, every Sunday this woman tithe to the tide. Like she's going tired of whatever the 10, whatever the percentage is she gonna do. And if they call for extra money, she gonna give, she couldn't pay. They was gonna come pick up this washer and dryer.
So she called my grandmother.
My grandma says, wait, hold on, what you been doing with your money?
She was like, well, I done paid tithes to the church and the church needed this and I gave my money there and I this, I that. And she said, okay, well, what's your pastor phone number?
She said, why? She said, no, what's the pastor phone number? She said, you need to call him. All your money there.
You about to lose this washer and dryer behind supporting the church.
[00:30:25] Speaker B: They fine.
[00:30:26] Speaker C: She's like, echo, you need to call them and ask for them. Ask them to save your washer dryer. And hung up the phone.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: Which is real.
And my thing with that is when these people are giving and they're negating
[00:30:36] Speaker C: their own things that you the needs in your home.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: Since I've been little bro, I've never thought like that whole, this is a slippery slope I'm about to say, but I gotta say it.
That whole, you only got $200 left. Your light bill 150 come give that $200. God going to take care of it. You can't thank for God. To me, I've always thought about it like maybe God taking care of it was you having that $200 to give in the first place.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: A lot of questions I want to
[00:31:08] Speaker B: ask though, because to me, I never understood that.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: Because honestly though, you know what I'm saying? I would say this at my church though, you know, I mean, I truly believe in paying tithes. But also they have programs for financial programs where people can learn how to manage their money. And a lot of times that people in the position they in is because they don't know how to manage their money truthfully. Now, when you break it down, you know what I'm saying?
Money going everywhere, you know what I'm saying? So when it come down to church, it be highlighted, you know what I'm saying? So much more, especially as Christian church, I'mma tell you one thing for sure, that all churches, malls and everything have issues with people with money. But when it comes down to Christianity, it get highlighted on a highest, a higher, you know, platform. You know what I'M saying. And sometimes I don't know if that the trick of the enemy or just get people to. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. But truthfully though, there are people who manipulate their congregation into giving them money to fund their lifestyles. And because them people, it got people like questioning where they whether or not they should give, you know what I'm saying? And I'm not a expert in giving or sewing ties. But I will say this though. My dad is 100% tired and.
[00:32:31] Speaker C: And he.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: And he get paid once a month now. He still do it, you know what I'm saying? Do we go to church? Absolutely not. Do my grandma is at my grandma church. Do my grandma want him to come to church instead of paying tithe? Absolutely, you know what I'm saying? But I would say this the result of him paying ties and because he truly believe in that 100% man. That man retired at 49 though. But not only retired and he got good management, money management skills.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: That's what I was saying.
[00:33:00] Speaker A: He got good money management skills and he invested money, right. But a lot of things that happened to him, he can't even explain, bro. Like there's a lot of stuff that happened to him that he can't explain.
Checks coming from left and right. He got this big settlement check that came. Things just be. They're like financially just been happening. Good deals come his way. The house, the other house that he got across the street that kind of fell in his hand. I'll tell you how it felt.
The neighbor, she didn't. She an older lady. She was old. She was about 70 something years old.
She stayed there all her life. She did not want to sell the house to her son, get a house to her son because she couldn't stand his wife.
So she would rather. And this was a white lady.
[00:33:47] Speaker B: Now I knew she was white when you said it.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: She had a corner lot, a pond on the back. She sold it to a beautiful home with over acres of land. And she sold it to my parents, man, for 60 grand, bro.
Like you can't even like how stuff like that happen. I. It's so many stuff. I can kind of go on the crazy part of it on about.
And, and what I'm saying is I ain't saying that the result of paying ties.
But though I feel like though that's the law of it, you know what I'm saying?
[00:34:19] Speaker C: But I think that that see the thing to me, the thing to me and there's no, no disagreements with what you're saying. I think the, the church home that you guys seem to come from, it seems to be a good place. It seems to teach you the things. Like you said, you got things on.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:38] Speaker C: You got things that teach you money management, how to buy house, you know, so that, so that from, from your aspect and you're seeing like your, your dad doesn't go to church, but he knows the value of paying tithes, so he does it even if he sends it through somebody else, because he's been raised in this particular way. So. And in that you've been raised within that way.
You know what I'm saying? But what I think the understanding of is you don't, like a lot of people don't get that opportunity to be brought up in that way. Like in a church that is educational in the practical sense of life as well as in your faith, is educational to your faith as well.
So for a person like myself who never quite had a home in anything faith based, it, you're very skeptical of things, especially when you sit down. I remember my grandma said the second that you sit down in a church and it feels like home, you're home.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree.
[00:35:41] Speaker C: And I've only felt that once in my life. And then I ended up moving out of that particular area and that's when I lived in Denmark.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: Okay, let me, let me say this to, to your point. I like that point.
If we, if churches could focus less on monetary and resources like that and focus on souls, because most people don't. Most people, when they go to a church. My thing with church is this. When I go there with my church, I don't care nothing about no building. I don't care nothing about no money. I don't care about none of that. What I care about am I growing when I go there. Is the environment, a love environment? And I ain't talking about no weird crazy stuff. Do I feel love when I walk in, when I, when I sit in there? Am I, am I receiving the word? Is it, is it helping me grow? Like, so I, I grew up in a church where, where money ain't a big issue. Like, where we not about to sit up here and collect no, you know, some services. I don't know if you ever been to a service like this, bro. If some services you go to, they will have a regular offering.
They ask you to come back around. Then they got a speaker's offering and then they got a building fund offering. I'm like, yo, y' all come on, bro. Y' all like Four offerings in one service is crazy work to me. So when you have a novice who don't know this stuff about church, it looks like y' all are running a scam here. So, like you said to your church, and I think. And nothing is wrong with paying tithes. Like, I'm a. Like, I agree with that. But, you know, I think my thing is let's not focus so much on the actual money. Like, let's not focus on if somebody. Because my pastor tell us you paying tithes between you and God, he tells us that that is between you and God. That ain't got nothing to do with me. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not checking. I'm not calculating. That's between you and God. So I respect that teaching. But, you know, just in general, make church about what it's about, man. It's about people being delivered, people having breakthroughs, people, like, seeing a different way of life, praising God, like, let's make that be the forefront. More than these shows that we throwing at church, more than these fog machines, more than these lights, more than you trying to raise a huge offering of building a fund. Because for some churches, you gotta think y' all been churching for.
Some of these are old money churches. Y' all been churching for 40 years. Y' all still doing the building fund. What are y' all building after 40 years? Y' all ain't got it yet. What y' all building?
[00:37:59] Speaker A: Somebody getting loans off the right, so.
[00:38:02] Speaker B: And then also when your people fall in. When your people fall in need.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: Can they come back to you?
[00:38:08] Speaker A: Well, that poor, I guess. I think that's poor leadership, man, within the pastor and going back to. Even though TIES is a small.
A small segment in, you know what I'm saying, Just, you know, going to church because, you know what I'm saying, it's part of the program, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, to do ties, I don't think it's something that should be spent a whole lot of time on, you know what I'm saying? It was just giving, you know what I'm saying? And not only just giving, being a cheerful, giving giver of your heart, though. But. Well, I want to go back to what Yousef said and y' all said, too, as well. I think what the thing is, is being committed to something. Like, if you do go to a church and you like some of it is, you know what I'm saying? You know, like everything else in life, man, a lot of things, you not going to understand, you know, in the beginning, you know what I'm saying? But because we talking about meat here, like, you know what I'm saying? I think the word of God speak about like, you know what I'm saying, giving them milk, I mean giving them meat, like real meat to build on. Sometimes people come in from the streets and they need milk. But like the rest of the congregation, most of the congregation is eating meat now. At one point in time they were sipping milk. And sometimes as a leader, what do you do? Do you go back, you know what I'm saying, and make it elementary now, you know what I'm saying? When half the congregation had been coming consistently. Now they on meat now how do you go about the process? So that's the reason why I'm saying like for individuals that do come in the church, they should go in and stay committed to that. Especially if they love the environment and they love the feeling of it and they receiving the word even though they sipping on milk and. But stay a little longer till you graduate so you can get to the part where you consuming meat now, you know what I'm saying? And a lot of times I just think the most of the time people get intimidated and they don't understand a thing and then they run from it, you know what I'm saying? And I think those most pastors would love for individuals to interact with them or to interact with them, to ask questions about things or how you feel and, and you know what I'm saying, what's going on so they can better explain it because no one knows that I ran you off and you got offended cause I said such and such and now you know what I'm saying, you left. I didn't know that, you know what I'm saying? And so just stand back and having a real conversation and meeting the pastor. Most time pastors would meet the newcomers that coming in and stuff like that. But they can't hang around. That's what's important for the elders in the church too as well. That's what Moses had, you know what I'm saying? When Moses went up to the, to the top, he had elders that supposed to, to you know, help the people. But the people was building calves and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying? So you know, again I think it's a, it's a whole lot to that though. But being a great leader man and setting people up, setting your, your, your leaders up. The, the pastor setting the leaders up, which is the elders and the deacons and stuff like that, to help maintain, you know what I'm saying? The, the, the flop, you know what I'm saying?
And from that perspective, because he can't always, especially if you got your church growing and it's growing, growing, he can't always interact with everybody, you know what I'm saying? And so you need your elders and your deacons, you know what I'm saying, To be spiritually minded and spiritually mature, to kind of help, you know what I'm saying? To flock in a sense. That's just in my personal opinion, to
[00:41:44] Speaker B: your point with that, sheep begot sheep, sheep beget sheep. However they say it, it's not just the elders, and I agree with you, not just the elders, not just the deacons, it's the lay members. It's everybody's responsibility for one. I'm the type of person like this, if I see somebody new come in church, I don't care if you, how you look, what you got going on now. If it's a female, I try to stay away a little bit, you know, I'll speak. Cause I don't play that type of game. But if it's a male, what's up? How you doing?
Handshake man, how you enjoy service, man? We were glad to have you here, man.
Hope you come again. It's everybody's job to kind of once the pastor, if you're on the meat now and the pastor has equipped job, it's our job to kind of embrace those people. Because like you said, his reach don't. I might, I might have didn't. If I got 400 people, I might have didn't catch the one new member that came today. But the elders might have been at the front, they might have didn't catch it. That's why sheep be got sheep. That's why it's our job once we get to that point where we can go and talk to the person. And then another thing that I want to highlight too is Bible study.
That's why Bible study is such an important thing. Because that's the time like on Sundays when the pastor is preaching his word or doing his thing. On Sundays, you're getting it and it's kind of like take it and run on. Well, we have our Bible study on Wednesdays. On Wednesday, that's when we actually get in there and we actually ask the questions. We, if we don't have clarity on something, it is not just us taking information from the pastor.
Like, okay, let's say all three of us sitting here Right now.
This happened last, this week at Bible study. My uncle asked a question and I was able to give him an answer. The pastor didn't give him an answer. So at Bible study is when you could get these questions answered. Like, and then my pastor is so real about it, he'll tell you, like, I actually don't have an answer for that. Let me get back with you.
But Wednesdays are so important because that's when you can actually get a chance to do those type of things.
[00:43:39] Speaker C: I'm a shock you real quick. I was married to a Jehovah's Witness the only time I was married.
And to understand them, I was doing the Bible study, the individual Bible study with them. With somebody would come. His guy's name was Mark, Amazing dude, would answer all my questions because I was just trying to understand my wife. Like, okay, this family, how do they work? Because I was lost. We was having arguments over stuff I didn't understand.
And once I started to understand, I was like, yo, they really in depth with this Bible study thing. Like, they almost had me. I ain't gonna lie, they almost had me.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: But
[00:44:17] Speaker C: some things I couldn't get with. But just how in depth they were and how like the conversation I could see the value of Bible study through. Like, if I was to ever join a church again, I would go to Bible study for sure. Because that was probably my most enjoyable time in the week for something I wasn't ever gonna be, but it was just enjoyable.
I even still have the little Bible study book they gave me. I have it at the house.
Definitely can't agree with a lot of stuff they do, but just that particular opportunity to ask questions, as you say. I think if you're definitely in the church, you definitely should go, right?
[00:44:57] Speaker B: And I think that's, that's where the disconnect be at a lot of times. Because preachers are humans, for one. Let's get that straight. They're humans. And the Bible says, lean not towards your own understanding. And it also says stated to show thyself approved. So you need like outside. What do you do outside of coming to church on a Sunday, listening to the message do you do to enhance your knowledge? A lot of people don't do anything. So you're going to be the Bible history in itself. The back history of stuff outside the pages of the Bible is very in depth. What do you do outside if you're actually actively trying to learn this stuff? Because a lot of people go to church and they do church to check off a box and we're not trying to get anything from it. So whenever you at home, are you watching videos? Are you doing the research? The Bible say, if you. He who wants knowledge, I will give it to you liberally. So come to Bible study. Sit in on some of these Bible studies, like, look up stuff at home. And if you see something that you. That kind of, you know, might be questionable to you, if you're sitting at a church and you're going there constantly, obviously you think those are good leaders.
So if you trust their leadership over your soul, then ask them the questions when you get the Bible study. Hey, it's been times where we sit in the Bible study, like, hey, man, I seen the video, and God said, boom, boom, boom. And we actually have a dialogue. Not just me and the pastor, me and everybody in the room, we have a dialogue about something that was brought up. It wasn't even in the lesson that the pastor was teaching. But that's your chance to ask the question. That's your chance to get an understanding. And I think that's where a lot of people, you know, where they go down at. So Bible study and, you know, the lay members knowing what they're supposed to know.
[00:46:35] Speaker A: Yeah, Bible study is definitely important.
I look at Bible studies, if. If you're a gym person and like to go to the gym, you. You know what I'm saying? You enhancing some things, you know, so you equipping yourself to, you know, you
[00:46:52] Speaker B: just dropped the bar just now, bro. You just dropped the gym.
[00:46:54] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: Yo, that's like, you know that all the work that they be saying about Kobe, them.
And then we see them in the game, but that's what the Bible study is. By the time you have to. By the time I'm talking to you in the street and I say something about the Bible, you like, yo, do really know the Bible. That's because I've been in the gym practicing when nobody wasn't watching.
[00:47:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:12] Speaker B: Yeah. That's crazy.
[00:47:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's exactly where I was going with that. Like, you know, Bible study kind of, you know, it give you the study guide into, you know, to do the homework at home, too, as well. So it show you. It show you what you doing in Bible study. And then when you get home by yourself, these are the same things you learn in Bible study. And you could take a little, you know, step further and start diving in some other things as you continue to, you know, saying, grow your knowledge in God. You know what I'm saying? And then the other part is, you know, Receiving the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is the answer to all things. The Holy Spirit is, you know, the comforter that God sent back to us, the truth, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, some of the things that you have question on, you know, I truly believe you lean into the Holy Spirit, man. Holy Spirit a guide you to not only, you know, to a certain page in. In the Bible or just, you know what I'm saying, putting you in path with someone and, and somebody give you an answer to, you know, saying something that you was thinking about, you stuck on. And so, you know, that's the other part too though, man. Everything that I do, you know, like, I tap in with Holy Spirit to give me guidance and, and even. Even when speaking, you know what I'm saying, when I'm talking to somebody, even I. I said this in one of the episodes and even dealing with my wife, dealing with my kids, you know what I'm saying? How you know, to answer them in certain ways. You know, my tone, you know, it's so many different things, man, when you speaking to someone, you know, Holy Spirit is saying, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You shouldn't say that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and it checked me, you know what I'm saying?
Forgive me, you know what I'm saying?
[00:48:56] Speaker B: And it feeds you like a computer almost. Bro, I'm gonna be honest with you.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: There's a chatgpt. The Holy Spirit is the, the original chat GPT word, bro.
[00:49:04] Speaker B: And I agree with that, man. A lot of times, bro, when I'm talking to people, I be talking to people. Yo, and after we have a conversation, I cannot remember really what I told you during that conversation. Br be times where I talk to somebody and, and it could be years or months have passed and they be like, yeah, bro, that thing that you had told me that day, like, because when, when, when this is going on, my mindset is always this. Even when I come here, I asked the Lord to only speak, Let me speak as you give utterance. Like, I don't, I don't. I try not to. Because, bro, if you get into self too much, you'll start saying some, some questionable stuff. Like, so I try not.
[00:49:41] Speaker A: It's funny. It's viral.
[00:49:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's very questionable.
[00:49:45] Speaker A: They didn't deter somebody from their faith.
[00:49:48] Speaker B: Like, yeah, bro, And I really be trying to be on that, man, because to me, that's a big thing. I try, like, I ain't no better than I Don't know no more than nobody else. But just like when you got God giving it to you, bro, the Holy Spirit, just like it just. I don't know, bro.
[00:50:03] Speaker A: That junk just be not leaning into your own, you know what I'm saying? Your own knowledge, man. But, you know, you basically tapping in, man, and you know, you know, even with everything that we say today, it's still surrounded around community, you know what I'm saying? Mostly because reason why I'm saying this is because we gave all the instances of, you know, continue to press in, man, even if you don't feel like it, you know what I'm saying? You know, church is a community, you know what I'm saying, where people come in and share the same faith, if not share the same faith, if you don't share the same faith, but you get to know people and you get to understand certain things. Because not everybody is Christian, you know what I'm saying? They have other religion that they, they prescribe to, you know what I'm saying?
I don't see nothing wrong with that. Whatever that gets you to the place where you need to be at. But community is where it start at. Community is a place where you connect with other people and you get to get information for other people who have information that what you going through. And truthfully, you know, community help you realize that you ain't going through this by yourself, you know what I'm saying? Someone went through the exact same thing that you went through, you know what I'm saying? Now you have somebody cheering you on, you know what I'm saying? And for most men, really what it is, is lean into that pressing and you will learn to get vulnerable as you continue to connect with other guys and stuff like that. That don't mean when you doing something, you starting off, you know, you gonna automatically be vulnerable. Nah, like, I understand that a lot of things that you went through in your life, you didn't build this wall up where I ain't never gonna go through that again, you know what I'm saying? And I understand that, you know what I'm saying? I definitely understand that. But as you continue to press in, you continue to find your group of people that you feel comfortable around, guess what, what gonna happen as you continue to show up, man, that wall gonna continue to fall down, you know what I'm saying? Little bit by little bit, you know what I'm saying? So that's really my encouragement, you know what I'm saying? My prayers is for people even in the place that we at now, you know what I'm saying? For people to find their community, find their people where they can connect to, where they can eventually become vulnerable. Cause you ain't gonna. You're not gonna start off vulnerable. You still gonna have that wall up.
[00:52:32] Speaker B: To me, it's just putting yourself in those predicaments that actually see what these people got going on. Like you said, as males, we got to read the room. We got to see what's going on.
[00:52:40] Speaker A: We do.
[00:52:40] Speaker B: Put yourself in these rooms and see, like, just because you go one time, that don't mean you're a member. So put. Like, if. If you see somebody hosting a male, you know, empowerment thing, you could go one time, see what it's about. If you're not feeling it, you never have to go again. But you got to put yourself in these predicaments to. To at least see. To at least, like, let me see what this. What it's about. Don't do it by yourself. And, like, as far as community go, like, we trying to get y' all a part of the King community. Because actually, bro, we don't do this for ourselves. Like, as I say all the time, we don't do this for ourselves. We do this for y', all, man. So when we doing these podcasts, man, we. We. We hoping and praying that something that we say on every episode touches you in a way where you like, yo, that helped me grow. That helped me see something differently. That helped me maybe experience God differently. Because I had a viewpoint of what being a believer looked like. I had a viewpoint of what church looked like, and these guys define what I thought it looked like. So, man, when we doing this, it's for y', all, but, like, man, really, like, plug, Plug.
The Forage of Kings, man. Talk about that a little bit.
[00:53:43] Speaker A: Forage of Kings is a group that we started for individuals like, such as yourself, men that don't have a platform, don't have a community of people that you subscribe to. And so if you looking to be challenged, you looking to have that level of, you know, comfortability, somebody that you feel like you can relate to. Guess what? It's somebody in the group that you can relate to, you connect to. And this is the reason why we created Forger Kings to create that community for men such as yourself, me, and Q, you know what I'm saying?
To challenge each other and also grow, man, as men. There's so many things that we kind of go through and we go through silently, you know what I'm saying? If you have a family, you know what I'm saying? Somebody that, you know, got kids and struggle, somebody like myself who have a blended. Well, a family that. From kids with two different. You know what I'm saying? Different relationships, you know what I'm saying? And trying to manage all of that, blended families, you know what I'm saying? Or you don't have any kids and are you in a relationship and you struggling with that? Whatever it is, whatever you struggle with, man, it's somebody in the group that can help help you or give you some information or y' all can connect, you know what I'm saying? Together, man. That's what Forger Kings is. We looking to build each other up,
[00:55:10] Speaker B: man, and be going, we going to find a way to.
Out of this whole video, bro. That's really the part that I think is the most important part that. That we got to push the most. We're gonna try to find a way to put a link in the video that we do post about this.
[00:55:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:55:24] Speaker B: And we're gonna have a live event coming soon. We. We don't know the. The. The plan is of, but, man, we're gonna have a real get together with the men soon, man. And like I said, man, just give yourself a chance, man. Just come in the room, fill us out, bro. If. If y'.
[00:55:36] Speaker A: All.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: If y' all like we putting down, hey, stick with it. If you don't, we understand. But hopefully it resonates with you and you. And you enjoy what you're seeing and you feel like you could be a part of it. So, man, like I said, that's it for me.
[00:55:50] Speaker A: Yes, sir. We catch y' all on the next one.
[00:55:53] Speaker B: Yes, sir.
