Episode Transcript
[00:00:14] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What it do, man? This is the Kimi pod. I'm your host, B.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: And I'm cue to Don.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: And listen, man, this is my guest, Chanel.
Chanel, you want to say something for the people?
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Hello.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: You always do that.
[00:00:29] Speaker C: Yep,
[00:00:32] Speaker A: man. Listen, man, how was y'?
[00:00:35] Speaker B: All?
[00:00:35] Speaker A: How was your week? How was your week, Q?
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Man, my week was long.
Spent a lot of money this week. Just when you're trying to do right, trying to save some way or another, life figures out how to get your money. So it was a long week. But I'm here, so I'm blessed life.
[00:00:52] Speaker A: Always trying to figure out where to get your money, your time, and everything else. I agree with that. What about you, Sunil? How was your week?
[00:00:59] Speaker C: I had a great week. My dad celebrated his 67th birthday.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: Shout out to Pops, man, 67.
[00:01:07] Speaker C: My twins and my grandson. And everybody was together this weekend. So it was great.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Hey, listen, man, I got. Well, there. I got a.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: How about I say, how was your week, bro?
[00:01:18] Speaker A: My week was.
It went by so fast, man.
It was pretty good.
I can't really complain. Just really keeping my head down. Just focusing on just the vision and spending a little more time with family.
That's about it right there.
[00:01:38] Speaker C: Cool.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Okay, before you start, let me say this.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: If y' all see me looking crazy for the viewers, we got a screen in here that kind of show us. And I keep on kind of like I'm trying not to look at myself.
If I look crazy, that's what it is. Ain't nothing going on in the background. I'm looking at myself and I'm trying not to.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: My boy. True Leo, man.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Yeah, man, I'm trying not to.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: He like to look at himself.
Really. What it is is he love to look at himself.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: Yeah, this tough, man.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: But listen, I got a video, man. I'm gonna get B to play the video. I want y' all to.
Basically, we gonna start the show off like that. We gonna play the video and tell me what y' all think.
[00:02:22] Speaker D: One who lets me feel like I can be vulnerable in front of them. I can be myself, my authentic self in front of them, and they still love it.
[00:02:31] Speaker E: And now describe why he's a threat to society.
[00:02:34] Speaker D: Because he will definitely kill someone for me.
[00:02:38] Speaker E: Oh, gosh. You want that?
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:41] Speaker E: Toxic.
[00:02:42] Speaker D: It's not toxic. It's love.
[00:02:47] Speaker E: If you could give a PSA to the young men who would kill for you, they're watching at home.
[00:02:53] Speaker D: I'm sure I have such a long list for you
[00:02:59] Speaker C: of what?
Of what?
[00:03:07] Speaker D: You are silly.
[00:03:10] Speaker E: No, you are silly.
[00:03:11] Speaker D: No, you are.
[00:03:13] Speaker E: Do you have racial preferences when it comes to dating or are you an equal opportunity barker?
[00:03:20] Speaker D: Yes, now I am.
[00:03:21] Speaker E: But before was.
[00:03:23] Speaker D: I think I had kind of turned a little blind eye to the black guys for a little while.
[00:03:27] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:03:28] Speaker D: Yeah. Cause they were the. At the time, they were the group that I felt hated me the most, that I would get the most unloved from.
[00:03:37] Speaker E: So you had a penchant for light skinned men.
[00:03:39] Speaker D: Oh, I do. Like me a light skinned man.
[00:03:40] Speaker E: Oh, still. Still got it. Like. And what's a celebrity that comes to mind, like Boris Kodjoe or.
[00:03:46] Speaker D: Boris is fine.
[00:03:47] Speaker E: He's so hot.
[00:03:48] Speaker D: He's very fine. Who's the other one, though?
[00:03:51] Speaker E: Michael Ealy.
[00:03:52] Speaker D: Oh, he's fine too.
[00:03:54] Speaker E: Jesse Williams.
Barack Obama.
[00:03:57] Speaker D: He's fine too.
[00:03:58] Speaker E: It sounds like you just like men.
[00:04:00] Speaker D: Yeah, that's it. Especially powerful men.
[00:04:04] Speaker E: You like a powerful man?
[00:04:05] Speaker C: I do.
[00:04:06] Speaker E: So a dominant to your submissive.
[00:04:08] Speaker D: I'm not submissive.
[00:04:09] Speaker E: Could you be a trad wife is what I'm asking.
[00:04:11] Speaker D: Trad wife meaning like I'd be at home and take nah.
[00:04:15] Speaker E: Like making Oreos from scratch?
[00:04:16] Speaker D: I don't. Absolutely not.
[00:04:18] Speaker E: Why not?
[00:04:18] Speaker D: Because that's not who the I am. And my daddy didn't raise me like that.
[00:04:22] Speaker E: To be a trad wife.
[00:04:23] Speaker D: To be anybody's wife. My dad used to literally say that to me. I didn't raise you to be somebody's wife.
[00:04:28] Speaker E: Mm. That's so brave.
[00:04:30] Speaker D: I don't know if it's brave or smart.
Most of the people that I know that's gotten married are divorced now.
[00:04:36] Speaker E: And so really, that's an indictment of the institution.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:40] Speaker D: I think marriages legalize slavery.
[00:04:43] Speaker E: You do?
[00:04:43] Speaker A: Yes, I do.
[00:04:44] Speaker E: Say more because if I'm thinking about slavery and I'm thinking about marriage, there are two different images that come together.
[00:04:49] Speaker D: Absolutely not. I don't think.
I don't know how you don't. A man is. Especially if he's expecting you to be a trad wife. He might as well pull out a whip in a chain.
[00:05:02] Speaker E: Wow.
So there are young people watching who might be wanting to get married. What would you say to them?
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Don't.
[00:05:09] Speaker E: Don't get married.
[00:05:09] Speaker D: No.
[00:05:11] Speaker C: Okay. Oh, God.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: You are crazy.
[00:05:14] Speaker E: How am I crazy?
[00:05:15] Speaker C: You are crazy.
[00:05:15] Speaker E: You're saying that marriage is.
[00:05:17] Speaker D: Nah, I don't. I don't believe in the marriage. No, I don't think so.
[00:05:20] Speaker E: You wouldn't get married?
[00:05:21] Speaker D: No. And I don't think it's beneficial for
[00:05:22] Speaker B: a Woman at all.
You said a whole lot for one that was loaded.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: And we focus on the part. I mean, either way, however you want to. Either way, however you want to look at it, man. Tell me your thoughts, Q. Man. Cause I want to.
[00:05:45] Speaker B: Honestly, when I was watching it, to me, I didn't know if it was play for, like, is that supposed to be some type of comedy? So I didn't know that. But just from the stuff that she was saying, she believed that. I believe it sounded like she's speaking from kind of like a battered woman. And I don't mean, like, by, you know, battered by, like, maybe physical battering, but, like, she might be, like, dealt with some stuff in past relationships that has kind of tarnished her views on. On marriage and on a lot of different stuff. So I.
[00:06:15] Speaker D: If.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: If I was her, I probably wouldn't, like, have that in the open, but I would just be like, that's my personal opinion. I wouldn't kind of, like, try to tell someone, don't do it or to do it. You know, That's a personal opinion. I didn't. I didn't really care for what she was saying, to be honest.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:06:30] Speaker C: First, I do agree, because she's a comedian, I do believe she came from that area of trying to make jokes out of it. But I do feel like part of what she's saying is truly how she feel, but I think it comes from rejection because she said for a while she let go black men.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah, she did.
[00:06:46] Speaker C: And being a black woman, most black men want a more submissive woman.
So her saying she's not submissive is probably the reason why she feel like, okay, I ain't marrying nobody because I ain't about to do this. I ain't about to do this. I ain't about to do this. And usually in interracial relationships, white men are more submissive to black women than black women are submissive to black men.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: Yeah, that's interesting.
[00:07:09] Speaker C: And vice versa, you hear. A lot of white women are more submissive. A lot of black men go to white women because they tend to be more submissive.
So I kind of think her point of view kind of came from just that, not wanting to submit and saying, I get tied down the way I want to get tied down, not by legalized marriage.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: Man. Listen, I got a totally different perspective.
My perspective on her is, I mean, just looking at her, I mean, not being funny or nothing like that, but she's not the most attractive person there is out there, for one. And then the second part Is, you know what I'm saying? You know, she blamed it on her daddy. You know, her daddy didn't raise her to be submissive, but I believe that her daddy was in the military. So her daddy probably was a little more tougher, you know, coming from a military background. But the other part is I just think that she was pointing fingers to the fact that, I mean, she probably got rejected a lot, you know what I'm saying, out of her life. And, and that was one of her walls that she kind of put up to, you know, to defend, you know what I'm saying? How she really, really fit well to cover how she really feel.
And you know, and that wall right there over, I think she's 58. She said in the video she 58, 59. So basically she, you know what I'm saying? Like, she didn't got to this point stage in her life and she's still not married. I mean, I mean, truthfully, nobody probably, I mean, nobody probably ain't gonna pick her, you know what I'm saying? To be honest. And she put that message out there. But truthfully, man, I think most women now, I know we. And she's an Afro female. She Afro female. But for most women, I ain't never heard a woman say, I ain't wanna be nobody wife, you know what I'm saying? That's one of the things they first started playing with like doll babies and playing house with the doll babies and stuff like that, man. But, you know, she said that wasn't, you know, that wasn't no way in her scope, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, that's what I kind of got out of it. And then what her name is Ziwi. Ziwi the interviewer, you know what I'm saying? She was like, is that a downfall to the institution of marriage, you know what I'm saying? I think a lot of times marriage get this bad indication. What is this bad thing surrounded, you know, a lot of people don't want to get married because I don't know, man, you got a lot, you know, a lot of them follow the celebrities, you know, and a lot of celebrities, they entitle, they have money, they have more options, and a lot of people follow that. And the media have a way to change your perspective of what marriage is, you know what I'm saying?
And, you know, I know a lot of people blame it on their grandparents and grandmas and granddaddy and stuff like that, and from their backgrounds, but I just truly believe like with Leslie, how she put it out, don't get married. And that's another thing that a person would use to not want to get married, especially towards the youth who want to get married.
[00:10:20] Speaker C: So what she was saying on another, I research, whenever we pick a topic, I actually dig in.
And she was talking about her dad and she was saying that in her family, her dad worked, her mom work, her brother's work, her sisters work, her aunts works, everybody worked. So I believe the dynamic of their family is independence. So when she said my dad didn't raise me to be a wife, I think she's more so talking about raising her to be a submissive. Not necessarily just the title of wife, but raising her to be a submissive. And then she was saying on about her first boyfriend. She was cussing him out and her dad was like, look, if you want to get married one day, you can't be doing that. She was like, why not? I could say what I want to say. It's like, nobody's going to take that. She said, well, I'll find somebody that I don't have to cuss out. So her mindset is, instead of me fitting into this, I'm going to make it fit me. So marriage doesn't fit her. She didn't say she don't want to be in a relationship. She said she don't want to be married.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: But she said she like strong women. Strong man though.
[00:11:12] Speaker C: She said she like powerful, powerful men.
[00:11:16] Speaker A: To me that seemed like a.
I
[00:11:20] Speaker C: think she's talking about appearance.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: Not necessarily, but she's talking about appearance.
[00:11:24] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: Cause I mean, cause all them meant like Barack Obama. That last person that she said, what about what Z. We said, what about Barack Obama? And she was like, yeah, yeah, he's fine too. And she was like, Zwe was like, you just like man. No, I like powerful men.
[00:11:43] Speaker C: Yeah, but she liked the look of a powerful man. Okay, so when you look at Boris Kojo, when you look at Michael early or whatever, they're actors and you know, they have their stance, but that's what I'm saying.
And the men that she listed, everybody she listed wasn't powerful. Barack was the last one.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: Yeah, Barack said you like men.
[00:12:02] Speaker C: She does like men.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: So for me, I think a bigger perspective and a deeper dive into what she said is I think what we have to problem at in today's society is the word submissive. And I think that comes across in a lot of people's mind as low key, like slavery.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: Slavery.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: But when we're speaking of being submissive in my mindset, I'm not speaking of slavery the same way. If you work and I work, you don't have to come home and cook a meal for me.
That's not something that I require. And I think a lot of guys where they get it wrong with the submissive part. They want a lady that's submissive to them, but they don't submit to anything.
So how is it that that's where the slavery comes in at? That's the part of slavery. So if you and your lady have an agreement and you say, I don't really want you going out to the club, but you in a club every weekend, so that's where it starts to look like slavery. Because it's do as I as I say, not as I do. So when we. I think one of the bigger things about her whole little thing that she just went on was defining what submissive mean. Like getting an understanding of when you really think about what most people think submission is.
Marriage can look like slavery. Because most people mindset of submission is when I come home, because we have a lady now, when I come home, she better have my stuff done, this house better be clean. And so when you coming in with that mindset, that is slavery. But as a man, when you know what submission really means, it means the insight, your wisdom, your direction. It doesn't always mean, it's not an action word all the time. As a chore as you should be doing something. It means like, okay, if I come home, hey listen, I was thinking about, you know, maybe doing this with our finances and her saying, her adding her input. Because submission don't mean I just say what I say and then you go and listen to everything I say. Hey, what you think about doing this with our finances? Okay. The submission is okay, he came up with a good, with a good thing. I'm going to follow what he said because he's a good leader. In order for somebody to follow you, you have to be a good leader.
[00:14:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Most women deal with submission problems because they don't have men. That's good leaders. And if you're not a good leader, bro, would you want your kids to follow somebody you. Nobody wants their kids to be a follower. Okay, so. But even more, would you want them to follow somebody that's not a good leader? No. If they had a friend and you notice like, okay, they might follow their friend a little bit, but they friend is a good leader. He's leading them into a good place, the right direction. Okay, that's Cool. But you're not going to want nobody to follow as a man. All I'm saying is if we're going to talk about submission, if we're going to talk about all this stuff, become a better leader, and the woman won't have trouble following you most of the time. So that's what I think, the gist of what she's saying in the slavery mentality, slavery thing, I think that's what it is.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: Can a woman be submissive?
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Yes, you have to be a good.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: But I'm going to say this. I'm going to let you get to it. Chanel. Truthfully, I don't know if women could be submissive. Cause I just believe that's in their nature to go against, you know what I'm saying? And somebody said it's easy for a woman to submit if they have a man that's in that position of leading and stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? But what if you have a woman like Leslie Jones that is a alpha female because. And a lot of times people don't like using the term alpha female, but she display Afro female type of tendencies, you know what I'm saying? And so you have that type of woman with that type of, you know, personality.
Like you think it's going to be easy for, for her to follow a man? Absolutely not.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: But that's the, that's the thing, though. It's not going to be.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: You got a lot. Mostly you got most. Most women. I'm speaking from the term most women from, you know, looking at Leslie Jones, that means she taking care of bills, she doing all the things, you know what I'm saying? I'm speaking from that perspective. Women who making their money, taking care of their bills and handling what need to be handled by themselves before they even get a man.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: But see, that's the thing, B. Most people want you to think like it's about the money.
You got the. For one, as a leader, bro, I done been in predicaments with my lady where, bro, I ain't have no bread at all. But bro, I'm still the same leader that I was with a pocket full of money.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: It start off, bro.
[00:16:24] Speaker B: No, it does not. That's what the world wants you to think.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: I'll say this because like he said,
[00:16:28] Speaker A: and I start off with what you're
[00:16:30] Speaker C: saying, you can think that. And if that's your mentality and you're trying to lead with that, you're never going to get a woman that's going to submit you have to create a safe place for her to naturally submit. But if your mindset is do as I say and if, like you said, if you.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: I ain't saying like that.
[00:16:46] Speaker C: But.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: But it start off with the money.
[00:16:47] Speaker C: You're thinking that it has to start out with money. You have women that submit to their men and they're actually the breadwinners. It don't always have to be about money. It's about when you create that safe haven where I can naturally submit to you. Submission isn't just about listening to you. It's about trusting your vision, trusting your leadership.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Exactly that.
[00:17:04] Speaker C: Whenever you say something, I have my input, but you have the last say so. And I trust your say so to be a covering over our family. I trust your say so to protect me. You're going to be the leader and I trust you to do that the same way your child choices you to protect them. When your child gets scared and they come running to daddy, I trust you to be who you are.
It's not a choice. It's what happens naturally when you're in a safe place.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: So you saying women and you use the key word and I like when you use. You said if you in a safe place, if a woman in a safe place, it's easy for her to submit.
Okay, I get that. But you know, most women, most women today, when you look at the statistics of women and this show ain't really about women, but it's just about the word submission, submitting, you know what I'm saying? And when you thinking about most women who's growing up now, they growing up for single parent households and you know what they mother teaching them, you know what I'm saying? To be strong and to provide and depend on a man to be doing such and such, that's the average woman, average young lady that come from a household. That's what they mother black mothers teaching them.
[00:18:21] Speaker C: Let me pause you right there. Teaching you not to depend on somebody means I can do it alone, right? That don't mean I have to.
I was taught that. I watched my mom raise her two sons. And me, I raised four boys. And I instilled in my boys the same thing my mom instilled in my brothers. If I had a daughter, would be the same. You can do it by yourself. But if I have a partner that lets me submit naturally, I don't have to. That don't mean I can't.
I have my own independence. But if I had a husband that led properly and who gave me the energy where I can be feminine, then I wouldn't pay all the bills by myself. I wouldn't be changing my own tire. I wouldn't be doing all those things. And yeah, we talking about, you know, physical stuff, but I wouldn't do it all if I had somebody I can trust to do it for me.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Because honestly, you get what I'm saying? No, no woman actually wants to be doing they.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: No woman a lot.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: And see what, what? See social media has, has truly like damaged the, the visual of it. Right? You ever heard the term we are, we all heard the term swap me off my feet. When a guy gets with a woman, even if she's being taught whatever she's been taught and through, you know, time of her dealing with other guys, it's not saying when you get with this woman, it's going to be easy. See, most guys are looking for the already pre made, pre ready package. That's not the way relationships work. That's not the way women work. When you go into it, you got to understand there's going to be some work that you have to do. There's going to be some patience that you're going to have, have to have. Because the same way you're working to get her to a point for yourself, she's working to get you to that point as well. So it's going to be giving, it's going to be get and give a little bit. But at the end of the day, social media wants us to think that it's about money. It's about a lot of other stuff, bro. It's simply about. Are you a good leader when you speak, do you stand on what you say that you stand on? When, when, when whenever I'm talking to you. Can't for one, can you have a conversation? Can, can we do that first? Most men can't even do that.
So. Because I can't. And we gotta get gutter right here. You know why most guys have to pay for.
You know why most guys have to pay for. Pay for. Pay for sexual favors from women? Cause they can't talk. That's number one. So if you can't communicate, you're starting off behind the curve. Most guys have to pay and they have to show their material stuff because they can't create that space for a woman. Cause they don't even know how to approach a woman. For real? For real. Most guys, if you take them to the mall, if everybody was single and we go to the mall, most guys, I promise you couldn't pick up a woman in there because they, they've lost the art of being able to even talk to a woman. So if you can't talk to her, how can you get her to submit to you? You don't even know how to communicate, so you already behind. Yeah, you got to say something about your money, cuz you can't talk. That's the only thing you got going, maybe your money and your sex. That's it, bro. It's a whole lot of other stuff that comes with being in a relationship and being with a woman and making her able to submit to you. It's a whole lot more. And we only, not just us, but we only focus as a culture on what can you provide, financially speaking. And your sex. That's it.
[00:21:14] Speaker A: I think that's, in my opinion, I think the first thing is financial, you know what I'm saying? It's financial, you know what I mean? And then I think that's the first thing most women will look at.
And I, I don't know. Cause you in a relationship and this man and you, and you the breadwinner, Chanel, you the breadwinner. And he telling you, you know what I'm saying? He telling you where you need to, what you need to do with your money. And he ain't bringing that my money, you know what I'm saying? And I mean, at the end of the day, financial gonna come up in the relationship. I'm gonna tell you that right now. That gonna come up.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: But you're talking about so money, money, money, already married. But when you get with somebody, say for instance, I'm dating this guy and not knocking, you care what he pull up.
But let's say, for instance, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm doing pretty good in my career, right? And then I meet this guy who's an entrepreneur who's trying to get his business started. His finances may not be where mine is, right? But I trust the vision. I'm getting to know him. I'm, I'm, I'm learning about him. So when I do decide that it's going to be my husband, even his finances are not where they need to be when married. I trust the vision. I trust in the lead. It's not about your money. Because when we come together, we're one. Our finances should be one also. So it shouldn't be about who made the most money. I trust him to lead our.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: I don't think it's about the most money.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: Ours, not mine also too, with what she just said, her example, because the, the check her, her background check going to come in at the beginning of the relationship.
If she sees his ambition and his hustle is where it need to be for him to eventually get to where he's trying to get to. That's something to work with. Now if you sitting on here, you at home all day playing the game and she, she, hey, what you doing? I'm playing this game. And you talking about you an entrepreneur and you a B, then already you disqualifying yourself.
[00:23:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: So your finance. This is how you know the finances don't really matter because that's not the first time you're going to see. When you meet somebody, you're not going to know anything about that person.
Can you. First off, when I see you, can you approach me? Can you communicate with me? Okay, then once we get to communicating now these ratchets online, of course they're going to, they're going to have the whole world thinking like women just straight up finance.
The average woman not going to see you in how much you make a year. How they not about to do that over time talking, right? Y' all get to that kind of stuff. So I don't know, bro. They didn't got to. They, they got attain it now, bro,
[00:23:40] Speaker C: I'm going to send you some I experience. I mean, to cut you off there.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: You did.
[00:23:47] Speaker C: Anyway, regardless, it's over with.
But in a, in a dating relationship, right.
I've experienced where I went out on a date, got paid for the date and everything. And because in this day and age, we have to deal with those women who are gold diggers. A woman who's trying to show that I'm not that person, a lot of times will offer, you know, the next date, I'll pay for it. Because I want you to know I'm really into you, not your finances. And I was baffled because the guy was like, I want to keep you in your soft girl era. I got this. And I was like, what? Boy, I got my own money, I don't need you. But I'm one of those people that have been doing it by myself for so long, and sometimes it's kind of hard or it feels unfamiliar to not have to do something. If I've dated guys in my past where I always had to go in my wallet, like Erykah Badu said, I always got to reach down in my wallet. You know what I'm saying? When you always had to do that, it feels unfamiliar for you to have to. So that's what we're trying to get you to understand that it takes time, it takes work to get somebody to that point where they can naturally submit. Naturally.
But going back to Leslie, I think she said something about trad wife, which is traditional wife.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Traditional wife.
[00:24:52] Speaker C: And I think that's where the slave mentality comes in of saying that legalized marriage is like slavery is. Because if you're a trad wife and you're home, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're taking care of the kids, you're managing the household and you're sick, you still got to do it right. That's the same way slavery was. Whenever they were sick or they were pregnant or whatever, you still had to manage the same jobs without fail. Because the breadwinners out here working. Some women feels like that's too much.
I'm. Like I said, I'm a single mom. I didn't get no days off.
I was in the hospital, had to have surgery and still had to figure out what's going to be going on at home, put people in place to, to take my spot. And still I'm fresh out of surgery. I got to call home to make sure these boys went to school. You get what I'm saying? When you're in a position where you have to do it all, it's hard to turn back. And now I'm married and I have to submit. Well, we out of order. One, because you shouldn't have any children and all this, you know, if you're following in order, those things shouldn't come first. But when you've been doing that as a at home mom or at home wife, it's. It does kind of feel like I'm submitting to something that I didn't expect plan for my life to look like this. I want to have my own career, but because I'm submitting to some degree to my husband, I had to give up my dreams to do this. Some women do feel like they're in a position of I got to do what I'm told. You know what I'm saying?
[00:26:14] Speaker A: I think that's, that's, that's the reason why Jada picking feel the way she feel.
Yo, you, you Jad on a whole another level.
[00:26:22] Speaker B: But I'm gonna tell you though, she. I would have been flipping that red, little red table.
I ain't gonna lie to you.
I'm telling you. Cause ain't no way you about to get up there every episode and just dog me like that.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Now that's how Jada Pinkett felt. She put. She Put her career on the back burner and allowed Will to flourish. Same thing with Step Curry wife, you know what I'm saying? She feels that same way, you know what I'm saying?
[00:26:47] Speaker B: But on the flip side, for the vision of the family, on the flip side, at two points to that.
They crying about it now, but they went and cry when they were reaping the rewards from that. Now see, this is, this, this is the part where we're talking about a good leader.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Somebody had to do it, though. At the end of the day, somebody had to be.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: But at the end of the day, you, life is a game of choices.
[00:27:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:27:07] Speaker B: You chose that. You, you, you decided to do that because Jada was an actress before she met Will.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: Yes, she was.
[00:27:13] Speaker B: So you decided, you made that decision that you were going to do it. My thing is, if you decide to do that, don't cry about it later.
Now, now, in fairness, what I believe is this, as a good leader, and I understand with kids it's a little difference, it's a little different, but as a good leader, as a man, you should never ask that woman to put all her dreams and aspirations on the back burner. And like, I ain't just saying that for no camera. Stuff like, nah, bro, you don't, you don't do that. Like, so I understand like how a woman could feel like that's slavery. You feel what I'm saying? Like to say all my dreams, all my aspirations, everything I want. Like that on that movie Fences, right?
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: If I'm mistaken, the woman said she had a part like that. But like, as a, as a good leader, let's figure out a way to make it work. Where maybe if I go to school right now, right later on when I get finished, you go chase what you want to do and I take on that mental. But that's that what we were talking about, being a good leader. That's where that comes from. Like that, that, that works in. When you a good leader, when you as a visionary is God the man, then the woman as the visionary, you should put that play together and talk to your lady about it and say, you know what, listen, this is how we gonna do this. Either you could go to school first, or I could go to school first and then we gonna make provision and figure out, you know, the rest. But it shouldn't be. No.
Oh, well, it's all about what I want. Nah, dang. That's what make a woman feel like.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: Almost forgot my point. But just to add in man loving basketball, when what her name, Shania Lakem. Yeah. She.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: Omar Epps.
[00:28:42] Speaker A: Yeah, Omar Epps. When. It was a scene in the kitchen when she was. I think she was. I don't know if she was ironing her mom. They was in the kitchen. She was talking to her mom, ironing her daddy clothes and you know what I'm saying? And Shania Lake of mind, she did not want to be her mama. I believe her mama was a trad wife.
She betrayed a trad wife in that particular scene. And she was like. And I think she made a comment, man, like, you. You over Chanel Lake. And said, you over here. Iron his draws and pants.
[00:29:16] Speaker C: I think it was something like she had. She said she remembered a day when her mom had cooked dinner or something like that. Her dad came home and didn't eat, and she didn't say anything. Her mom was very much disrespected by her dad's action and didn't say anything. And I think she knows slapping her.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: She did slap her.
And so with that in mind, man like you. You do got people who come from that type of background and seen that. And young women, you know, probably teenagers, you know, seeing that growing up, they just know that right there. I ain't want to be that right there. You know what I'm saying, As a woman, you know what I'm saying? I ain't want to be that. And it's completely cool.
You want to be there. And I think some of you, Leslie Jones and her perspective, she probably came from that type of background. And you know what I'm saying, we don't even know it, but there's a lot of people around the world who probably come from them type of backgrounds that they. You know what I'm saying? They seen that as a trad wife or somebody who. A traditional wife who do all the things. They look at him as being weak.
And personally, I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna put a pen right here. I. I would. I would love for my wife to be a traditional wife where I could come home and I'd be like, dang, boy, it smell like food up in this mug. You know what I'm saying?
[00:30:36] Speaker B: She ain't gonna work, love.
[00:30:37] Speaker A: Like, she wouldn't work. No, no, I want her to work. I ain't want her to work. But of course, our expense is gonna be very low.
Like. Like. Like, you can't do all that. Spin it out, you know what I'm saying? Talk about, like, as she spent.
[00:30:50] Speaker C: No tradwife.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: No, that comes to the Territory because
[00:30:53] Speaker B: in this day and age, that's gonna be tough.
[00:30:56] Speaker A: Nah man, we can't do all that spending, man. We gonna live off this budget, you know what I'm saying?
And when I come home, I'm just saying this in my mind when I was thinking about marriage, you know, like I come home to a house and the food already cooked and it's smelling good. I be greedy at the door, you know what I'm saying? And then the kids running to me, dad, you home?
[00:31:19] Speaker B: Yeah, you? Yeah, yeah. You watch a lot of shows.
[00:31:24] Speaker C: Listen, I honestly believe there are because I remember being a little girl and remembering wanting to get married and wanting to have kids. A job was nowhere in my mind at 7, 8 years old when I'm playing with my dog, babies and stuff and saying, I want to be a wife, I want to, you know, I really believe you have to want that lifestyle for it to work. For you to be a traditional wife and be a stay at home mom, that has to be your dream. You want to be. Because there are a lot of moms out there who love going to every single pta, every field trip and baking cookies and stuff. I watched this movie, religious. Well, it's not a movie, it's a TV series, Good Girls where she was a trad wife and then their finances got messed up, she ended up robbing a grocery store and all this stuff. You have to want that lifestyle. And sometimes for some women, they are settled in it and realize, I want more. Because some people get into that situation and say, this is what I want, I'm loving my life, I love being home with my kids, I. But then one day you wake up and say, you know what? This ain't what I want anymore. Not that you don't want your marriage or your kids, but you want to have more, you want to fulfill more in your life.
[00:32:24] Speaker B: Right? You're not fulfilled.
[00:32:26] Speaker C: Yeah. So I, I don't think that it's a matter of. Because somebody. I mean like I said, when you choose your wife, not saying you per se, but you choose your wife, that has to be a conversation of what you want our life to look like. You know, I, I want you to be at home not barefoot and pregnant the whole time, but I want you to make a home for us.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: That's the expectation.
[00:32:44] Speaker C: Yeah, but you have to have that conversation. But get into a relationship with somebody who does not find that appealing and then expect for them to conform to that, that is slavery.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: Cuz I don't want that also too. Another thing that A lot of women don't really talk about. And I know they. They glorify. And I. And I always speak about it. They glorify having a man that does everything for them, like, financially, that sounds good. But what you deal with in the process of somebody being able to cut your food off and out, the mental toll that that takes. Because most men that operate from that position, they treat you like you're in that position, and they treat you as such. Like, hey, don't. Don't ever forget where the money coming from. Don't most men have that mentality, Abuse of power? Yeah, if they. If they're. And that's the thing that nobody talks about. Everybody always speak about. My man take care of everything. But if the. A lot of these women be honest with people, bro, it takes. It takes a lot away from them because that man is going to let you know. Most men going to let you know, hey, I'm the bread one around here. You are to be seen and not heard. A lot of women don't have no opinion.
They get the gifts and all of that stuff. It looks good, but that's just to make you stay where you at. That's an. Atta boy. Stay right there.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Attaboy.
[00:33:56] Speaker B: Yeah, but they not going to tell the real story, bro. You lose so much by having your freedom stripped away from you. Because low key is if you don't work, you don't have no source of income. That man can tell you, today, you not going shopping. You not doing this no more. You not getting. We're not living like this no more. And you know what you got to do. Yes, sir.
So in. In a sense, that is slavery. Like. Like when women be telling that story, oh, my man do everything. My man do this, my man do that. He fly me out.
Tell the real truth. Tell how you really feel. Don't, don't. Don't sell the show. Tell how you really feel, bro. Cause it's something to be said about a woman that has to put everything on the back burner and just her whole life, all her dreams, because everybody got dreams and ambitions, right? So for all that to just be put aside for this man and what he want to do, that's crazy.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: Hey, so what's the conclusion, man? Like, what's the conclusion?
Draw the conclusion, Chanel.
[00:34:50] Speaker C: Why could I draw? No, I mean, honestly, I really feel like this. It's a matter of choice when it comes to marriage. In order for it not to look like slavery, like she said, it has to be a choice of what you want and what you want to look like it's not. I've been married and divorced. I've lived a single life and all.
[00:35:07] Speaker A: She's a trad wife.
[00:35:08] Speaker C: And if I was in an environment where I could submit naturally, then I probably would have been, but I wasn't. So. And I'm not saying I couldn't, I couldn't be.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: I don't know if you could have.
[00:35:22] Speaker C: We ain't gonna make this personal, but I feel like I can. But like I said, I have never been in a position where I could submit naturally. I've never been in a position where I could trust the leadership that was before me. But if I was, in my heart, I feel like I can't. My mother was. I saw that example. I saw my mama running, my daddy bath water, cooking dinner twice because my dad ate differently from us. So I mean, I. I saw that and my mom was happy to do it. So I'm not, I'm not gonna sit here and say I can't because even in my dating relationship, I catered to my man because I want you to know what it's going to look like.
Everybody don't feel the same way. Some people feel like you shouldn't give a man that you are not married to husband privileges, but why would he want to marry somebody and he don't know what it gonna look like. You ain't gonna buy the car without test driving it. You know what I'm saying? So, I mean, it depends on how you look at it. But it has to be a position that you want to feel. But what has led mostly every relationship now? What you bring to the table, That's a crazy question, right? A lot of people don't want to talk about that. What do you bring to the table? Most people want to talk about their money.
I bring, you know what I'm saying? Tangible things, but it's not really supposed to be about that. What, what do you bring? To what value do you add to my life?
From your personality, from who you are, what value do you add in my life? And a lot of women can't say that. They add submission, they add confidence that whatever vision God put before you, I'm supposed to advance that. A lot of people don't want to fall in line with what that's supposed to look like. So like I said, when it comes to marriage, it has to be a choice. And what your marriage look like should be something that you are willing to do, not something you have to be conformed to.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: And, and to your point too, as a man, if you get with a woman, and let's say you trying to some, this is not foolproof because it's not going to work for every woman. But if hardly no woman that you get with because you, you, it's a lot of dudes that jump from woman to woman to woman to woman. And we're talking about relationship. I ain't talking about sex.
And you like, yo, she, she just. You can't tell that. Look at your leadership style. Look at you as a leader. Like, look, put the mirror in front of you. Like, yo, what is it about my leadership that will not allow a woman to. Because naturally. And this is the natural thing, when a woman is, when she's a little girl, she has her baby dolls, she's cooking, she wants to be a wife. That's her natural thing. Now, over time, when you get with bad men, bad relationship, you know, of course it's problems that they have, but you just, over time, that dream kind of fade away and it get farther and farther. So at the end of the day, that's every woman aspiration at some point in time. That was her aspiration. Not every woman, of course, but for most women, that was their aspiration at some point. But bad, bad relationship, bad relationship, it just get far away. But as a man, like you asked, could she do it? She could do it, but because she's so hard, because she's so strong, you have to show yourself a strong leader. Like when she pop off, like when she go off, I'm gonna let you have that moment. You gonna have that. But we still gonna talk about that. We like, bro, your leadership, you have to be.
I don't even. You have to be a hell of a leader to, to ask a woman to be submissive to you. You have to be a hell of a leader. And, and that's just, that's just that. So as a male, if you can't get no woman to be submissive to you, bro, look at your leadership style. I ain't saying look at your money, look at your house, look at your leadership style, look at your qualities as a leader. Because if no woman can't submit to your breath, it's a self problem. It ain't every woman in the world, it's a self problem. Because naturally God ordained for a woman the concept of man and women.
God ordained for a woman to follow a man.
Adam got weak and started listening to Eve. He started listening to her. It wasn't the other way around. So at the end of the day.
[00:38:55] Speaker A: Because she wanted to really be in charge, though.
[00:38:58] Speaker B: But as what he should have done as a leader.
It's God first, then the man, then a woman. It should have been, no, this ain't what God said, right? So he didn't stand on. He didn't stand up as a good leader. Once again, it's back to the man. It's your fault.
He wasn't a good leader because he should have stood on that business. God told him what to do, he ain't standing and all that.
[00:39:17] Speaker C: God told Adam what to do, not Eve.
[00:39:20] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:39:20] Speaker C: So when she brought that to him, he knew better, even if she didn't, because she was supposed to follow what rule was given to him.
But I'm gonna get off of that one.
[00:39:30] Speaker A: It was a form of manipulation, in a sense, because she bit the apple and she was like.
And she was like, see, Ain't nothing happened. And then she was like, huh?
[00:39:40] Speaker C: Because vision was given to the man, right?
The vision wasn't corrupted until he ate it. Cause it was given to him.
[00:39:46] Speaker A: And what I'm saying is, if we solely go by this example, then what we telling our listener is, hey, listen, Even though if you married, even if your wife come to you about something, if God told you something, don't listen to her.
[00:40:01] Speaker C: No, it's not just about.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: I'm saying, well, clean it up then.
[00:40:05] Speaker B: Clean it up.
[00:40:07] Speaker C: But how it should be okay. For instance, if God told you to do something and he didn't tell it to me, and I come to you, it's not just a shut your mouth. We gonna do it this way. But if you have a partner, you discuss things with your partner. You may be the team leader, so therefore, you have the execution. But you discuss with your partner what's going on. Help them understand the reason why we're making this decision. Not I. But we're making this decision because you're together. You're one. So when I make a decision, it's our decision. Not just your decision. You're not supposed to rule over your wife. You're supposed to lead your wife.
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:40:40] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: And then. And then to clear it up even more, understand, everything ain't gonna be peaches and cream if you're proven to be a good leader. God gave you the vision, and you're following the vision. And you go and discuss it with her.
If she trusts your leadership, she's going
[00:40:57] Speaker C: to fall in line, naturally submit.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: Naturally submit. And then the thing is going to be this. Even if she doesn't like it as A man, I'm okay with you not liking it. Just follow me. I'm following God.
Now, at the end of the day, because now it's a little different because a woman could leave, she could go do other stuff, but during those times, if you're the leader that you, that you say you are, she knows that you're following God. Even if you bring it to the table, we ain't, we ain't got to argue. But if you don't like it, I'm still following God. Now what you do with that, that's on you. You got to answer to God for that. But at the end of the day, bro, you still stand on that business, so.
[00:41:29] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:41:30] Speaker C: And leadership doesn't have to be aggression. You don't have to show your aggression in order for you to leave. Can you imagine, you ever heard that saying that you can't out argue me? Like, if I'm yelling and screaming and you gonna match my energy or am I going to hear you? Are you going to hear me? So it's going to take somebody to find a balance and be calm in a situation like this is what's going on. Not saying you got to lower your demeanor always, but you know, I'm saying it's a way to do things.
[00:41:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that could be trauma too, though. Somebody matches my energy and stuff like that. Probably seen that grow.
[00:41:57] Speaker B: It's a defense mechanism.
[00:41:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it definitely is. You always, I even go like my conclusion of, of this all, man, you know, depending on the individual, you, you know what I'm saying? You know, get to know, especially when you're in that dating stage, man, these are some of the things that you really need to discuss and talk about before you really, you know, come together, especially in the beginning stage, and be open and honest with the individual you're talking to. Because some of this stuff end up sinking into, you know, you end up getting married and sinking to your marriage and now you having a disagreement about something that y' all should discuss when you was dating, you know what I'm saying? And you know, the way I look at marriage is I've been married nine years, about nine years to be this year, you know what I'm saying? It's as long as I ever been in any relationship, you know what I'm saying? But one thing I do realize is leading. You can't lead with aggression. You can't lead with your emotion. You gotta lead by action, you know what I'm saying? Whatever I would want my wife to do, I have to Exemplify that if I want her to be a little nicer to me, then I have to be nice. So I, as the man, I'm always going to have to be the one who lead in the area that I expect her to be in, you know what I'm saying? Along with my kids, too, as well. And then when you think about marriage, man, I always think about marriage is canoeing. If you ever been canoeing, if you do it by yourself, then, you know what I'm saying, you can, as you paddle the canoe, you know what I'm saying, to go forward. But when you add another person to that canoe and you palling forward and that person backstroking, then y' all gonna go around in circles, you know what I'm saying? And it take time for you to get in sync with going forward, you know what I'm saying? And that take a little time. And that's what marriage is to me. Like, sometimes to get on the page where you want to go at, you know, you're gonna have to go through some trial and error and. And have some disagreements about things. But once y' all get to the point where y' all start going in sync, moving forward, and you can tackle a whole lot of things, you know what I'm saying? It don't necessarily always gonna be, you know, like you said, you gonna have some bumps in the road in the early stages because y' all came from two different backgrounds, you know what I'm saying? And if you want somebody to be a traditional wife, like, I probably should have told my wife that in the very beginning, hey, listen, I don't want you to work, you know what I'm saying? But again, I'm the type of person that, you know, we talk about her ambition, things that she wanted, things where I wanted, and we just kind of came together. Sometimes within a relationship, you're gonna have to sacrifice a level of time and, you know, spending time and stuff like that to get where you want. But it only if y' all agree upon that, you know what I'm saying?
Like, the way I do things in my marriage is definitely be different for anybody out there, between y' all two and the viewers out there. But for the most part, whatever works in your household, you know what I'm saying? That's what work in your household, you know what I'm saying? A lot of times, people look on for advice through the media, you know what I'm saying? Through other people, my parents, you know what I'm saying? But my parents, marriage Ain't not my marriage, you know what I'm saying? The way they done things.
First, you can start off with that mindset, which I did, how my dad did things, but it didn't work, you know what I'm saying? It only worked in his marriage, you know what I'm saying? I ain't married the same woman, you know, so. So basically, you know, I had to figure this thing out on my own, and that's. You know, where is that? And sometimes it do feel like you putting on two left shoes at times, you know what I'm saying? Because it go against the things that you grew up on, you know what I'm saying? But, I mean, if you want to win and you want to win in your marriage, you're going to do whatever it takes to win in your marriage. Even if sometimes it seemed like you be the one who's submitting the most, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, that's just my personal opinion on that.
[00:45:56] Speaker B: Hold up, hold up, bro. There's no way you stirred the pot like that and then came with a.
Came with this at the end. Boy, you really stirred the pot today. Hey, you stirred the pot.
[00:46:06] Speaker A: That was my job. Cause I got y' all raw up.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: Yeah, you stirred the pot and then came through it. And you. Yeah, you clean it up, bro. You did that. You did that. You did that.
[00:46:14] Speaker C: He's ready to eat him up, ain't it?
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Yeah, he did that. He did that.
[00:46:17] Speaker A: Yeah. But it said you said Q when we was walking in here. It's like you didn't want to ask, man. I think we got a little bit of time.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, man. This is a little fun question, bro. I was just on the way here, I was just thinking, like, bro, what? What? Like, what's everybody's superpower? Like, that sounds crazy, but, like, bro, I was thinking, like, bro, what. What's my superpower? And mine is like, like, your superpowers, the one thing that God gave you that you don't got to think about. Like, you don't got to put much thought into it. And mine is kind of like, being able to, like, empower people and rally the troops. Like, I've always been, like, a type of person. Like, if we did a group project in school, let's say we got five people, bro, I'm gonna make the person that's sharpening the pencils for us to draw whatever we gotta do. I'm gonna make you feel like you the most important person, man, if these pencils ain't sharpened. Like I can just do that, bro. That's just like my God given thing. Like, so what would you say, like your, like your superpower is.
[00:47:05] Speaker A: My superpower is just thinking about it. I know other people's strength and I know other people weaknesses and I see they, you know what I'm saying? But I'm more mostly now being a competitor, you know what I'm saying? I will focus on their weakness, you know what I'm saying? Like what they weak in. And I just kind of know it. But you know, not being a competitor, my thing is and just being at work, like I know where put, where to put everybody at.
[00:47:35] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? And where they delegation. Yeah. Where they can succeed the most at, you know what I'm saying? And that's my superpower. That's why I got Chanel on the show.
[00:47:47] Speaker C: You know what I would really have to think about it. But just on the surface, I think naturally I'm an encourager. I have a lot of people that even when I can't encourage myself, I have the ability to pour into others. I have a lot of people that in my family or whatever that comes to me for that advice. And it's crazy that sometimes when I'm advising them, I'm listening and it works for me as well.
Yeah. So I, I think that's probably would be mine because I've always had that ability to talk people off the ledge, you know what I'm saying?
[00:48:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:48:17] Speaker C: Pour into people. So I, I think that would be it because I do that naturally.
[00:48:21] Speaker B: It just comes to me like, just come like. And so, man, I, when I was thinking about it, I was like, I guess a lot of people operate and we do a lot of stuff and there's a lot of stuff that we do. We don't really think about it. Like, brother, like what you said, what you said, that's not anything that you actually sit around and put thought into. Like, okay, I'm gonna learn how to do this. I'm gonna watch a video on how to speak. It's just like God given natural. So I just thought that was like a little fun question to ask.
[00:48:45] Speaker A: Man, I'm gonna tell you why I wish I could have.
I wish I had the ability to sing.
[00:48:51] Speaker C: Oh, no, you got to have rhythm for that though.
[00:48:53] Speaker A: That what I'm saying. I'm like, why?
[00:48:55] Speaker B: Okay, so that's another good. That's the one thing you wish.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: I wish I could dance and have rhythm. But you know what I learned type of Rhythm.
[00:49:03] Speaker C: Not to brag on my son, but for real, my son is a saxophonist. And I have always said a skill can be taught, a talent can be enhanced. But there's a thing called anointance that only can be God given.
And I have watched him turned from beginner saxophonist, and then I have actually seen the anointed fall on him. That it's a million people out here who probably can play better than him, but when the anointings hit him, he's untouchable. You know what I'm saying?
[00:49:32] Speaker B: I've seen singers like that.
[00:49:34] Speaker C: Yeah. So, I mean, it's a difference. Because you don't have to be the best singer. Like you said, you want to be able to do something. There's a difference in having a skill or having a talent. But when God ordained something and he put his touch on it, it's untouchable. It's untouchable.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: So you mean, tell me if I get out here and dance, that the anointed fall on me?
[00:49:54] Speaker B: It's crazy. She said that.
[00:49:56] Speaker C: Something he want to give you, yo.
[00:49:57] Speaker B: Because I've heard people in church that can really, like, sing, like, sing you to tears, but, like, there is no anointing when they're singing. So you like, yo, they can sing then. I've heard, like, them old people get in service and they start singing. And it's just something about the anointing when they be like, yo, they really kill it. And I don't want them to stop. They can't sing that good. But it's just like, like you said, the anointing makes the complete difference, right? For real.
[00:50:20] Speaker C: So like I said, with superpowers, I think that's really just something God given. It's not something that you can learn. It's just something that's in you or knowing your purpose so you know, your
[00:50:28] Speaker A: talent, like, so what your talent is in. In. In the church or like, like spiritually?
[00:50:33] Speaker C: Because I. I sing it. I. I'm gonna tell you, anointed, this isn't something that just happens. It has to. You know, I mean, there are. Sometimes I sing and I would tear that song all the way. I'll be all the way raggedy. But the anointance is there. The same thing I was saying about my son. In his mind, he may feel like he didn't give his best, but your best is not your perfection. It may be perfect to him, though.
[00:50:53] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So that's good.
[00:50:55] Speaker C: Like I said, there's plenty of times I don't Screw up songs for me. I felt like I did, but it wasn't about me. That's where the anointings come in. Because it's not about you when you remove yourself and allow him to do his work. The anointings is attached to that. But I mean, I ain't gonna get too spiritual about it, but I mean, I am who I am.
[00:51:11] Speaker A: And what's your. What's your talent? You saying too, though, right?
[00:51:13] Speaker B: I can sing a little bit. I'm not like no great singer a little bit, but my. Let me hold on. I want to go back to the superpower that I want to have, bro.
If I could have any superpower, bro, it's some people that know how to just make money, bro. Like, it's like. I wish that, like, it's like. It's like money come to them, bro, and they like money magnets, bro. I wish I had it as a superpower. Not. Not for personal. Just for personal stuff. Just like some people, bro, just know, like, God just blessed them with the. The anointing to be able to. Just like, it's like they could call money, and money is coming, bro. I wish I had that as. As a thing, bro.
[00:51:49] Speaker A: They say you gotta sew for that, bro.
[00:51:51] Speaker B: I. So, like, I don't know.
[00:51:53] Speaker A: I don't know how you get to that.
[00:51:54] Speaker B: Nah, bro, man. Certain, like, I'm gonna be honest, bro. Certain. Everybody could come up with a remedy of how to do this, how to do that. But like she said earlier, certain things is God given and. And it can't be replicated. I. It's just like what you do as far as knowing people talent and knowing their strengths and knowing their weaknesses, you can tell me all day how to do it. And if God don't give me an eye and an ear for it, bro, I'm not gonna be able to do it. Certain stuff can be taught, but certain stuff just.
They can do a little bit of it, but they'll never be what B is. Because when it's God giving breath, it's not something that. That you. That you could kind of replicate, bro.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: Can stuff like that change, like in different seasons that you in. You know what I'm saying? Like.
Like it. Like say, for instance, it be singing, right? I guess it still be in the same genre. Like you sing and God usually singing. Then it turned into. You write music.
[00:52:47] Speaker C: Well, you know what? Cause I'm also that person. I love to write. I write a lot of poetry. I think I told you before.
[00:52:53] Speaker A: So it's just like the whole music genre thing, like kind of writing, singing.
[00:52:58] Speaker C: I mean, for me, it has to be in your spirit. You know what I'm saying? It's just something that pours out of you. I do sing when I sing, you know, of course, I'm singing other people's songs, but when I sing those songs, I put my own twist on it. There are times when I could just be walking around the house and lyrics come to me. Do I always write them down? But a lot of times I turn what those song lyrics could be into poetry. So, yeah, I do believe it takes on different forms. Don't always have to be the same.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: That's unique.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: You think you got that from your moms?
[00:53:26] Speaker C: Because my mom was a singer, yeah. My mom did a lot of writing and stuff. So, yeah, I think it's something that could be hereditary. My brother's right. Both of my brothers wrote poetry. Both of my brothers have written books. You know, I think it is something that's just in us. But I mean, who says that God anoints us? Can't be hereditary, right?
[00:53:41] Speaker A: Oh, boy. Hey, you might tap into something, right?
[00:53:44] Speaker B: The same way. The same way that they love to tell you about curses. Yeah, you right.
Because I'm gonna tell you, I didn't try to. I didn't try to write me. Yo, people that. Who mind operates in the artist form like that, they're so unique to me, like, bro. Because they. They see stuff and see the world from a totally different perspective. It's just like, when you see artists that, like, make rap songs or compose beats, like, the way that they see the world and. And the way that they visualize. It'd be so much different from the average person. Like, they can hear a song, like. And I'll be seeing Jay Z, like, on that little. It's a little video where he be doing like, that right there. Like, it's like you can see he's studying it. Yeah, their wheels are spinning. And I think that is so. I think that's so dope.
[00:54:23] Speaker C: Well, all four of my boys, you know, sing. Like I told y', all, two and three years old, I've been marching them. Y' all gonna sing. And I have a son. I absolutely cannot stand the fact that he has a very dynamic voice that he won't use. But he's taught himself how to play the keyboard. He has a lead guitar, bass guitar, which I'm not sure, but he's teaching himself. And he loves the rap, and he has composed so many songs, his own beats and stuff. And he sent them to me, and I'm like, well, you ain't gonna sing.
No. You know what I'm saying? But he writes. He does that as well. And like I said, it could be hereditary. It don't always. And another thing about anointings, I absolutely love Fantasia. Yes. She does not sing gospel, but you can't tell me when that girl opened her mouth. Yeah, the anointings on her. It'll always have to be what we think it's supposed to be, because it does say that whatever God puts in us, it's supposed to draw people to him. Fantasia draws you to the anointings, not necessarily the lyrics of the song. And I know we're not supposed to be talking necessarily getting into that realm, but still, it is that. That's how it's supposed to work. That whenever I first heard Fantasia sing, I couldn't tell you what song was, but her spirit is what drew me.
And God tells you. I mean, it says that in the Bible. What he gives you, you're supposed to. Every blessing God gives you is meant to pour onto his people. Everything you got is not meant for you.
[00:55:39] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:55:39] Speaker C: It's meant for you to draw people closer to him.
[00:55:42] Speaker A: Some people misuse it. Some people misuse that gift, too, man. They do for the glory of themselves, right?
[00:55:49] Speaker B: But like, somebody like Fantasia, like she was saying, man, I. I've never been to a concert, but I watched some of her concerts. In her concerts, she's going gospel, she's going church.
[00:55:58] Speaker C: Like, every song, right?
[00:56:00] Speaker B: And then she has a part in her show where she might say, I know this is. Y' all want to listen to this, But I just feel the spirit. And she actually starts singing gospel on stage.
[00:56:09] Speaker C: Like, so I've been to several concerts.
[00:56:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, she actually does gospel. It's like that dude that made Gas Station Love eat. I think his name.
[00:56:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:56:19] Speaker B: Yo, it's like you can hear the quartet, gospel, Deep, Southern Baptist, whatever you want to call it, all in his music, bro.
[00:56:27] Speaker C: It's just like the guy that just won American Idol.
Jamal Roberts. Roberts, yeah. Everything he's saying, that boy church it up. Everything. If you watch him on YouTube or tick tock, everything he's saying, he church it up.
[00:56:39] Speaker B: It could be a rap song.
[00:56:41] Speaker C: You gonna feel it.
[00:56:42] Speaker E: You.
[00:56:42] Speaker C: It's. It's undeniable.
[00:56:43] Speaker A: Can't take it away from. Can't take it away from.
[00:56:46] Speaker C: Like they say, it's not on you. It's in you.
It is what it is.
[00:56:50] Speaker B: That. That's the. That's the end of it for me. I ain't got nothing to say after that.
You killed it after that.
[00:56:56] Speaker A: Hey, lie.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: I'm done with it.
[00:56:58] Speaker A: Hey, I think that she killed. Yeah, you did, though. I ain't going to lie. That last little piece. Yeah. So, hey, listen, make sure y' all subscribe, man, and. And, like, and subscribe and share this, you know, video. We trying to get out there to the world, and we just appreciate our listeners, the ones that just tune in, man. I. I haven't come up with a name to what we going to call our fan base, but, you know, it's coming, though. You know what I'm saying? But, yeah, we appreciate y', all, man. Until the next time, next episode.
