Protected From Everything, Prepared for Nothing?

[00:00:17] Speaker A: Yeah, what it do? I'm your host, B. [00:00:19] Speaker B: And I'm Q. The Don. [00:00:20] Speaker A: Welcome to the King Me Podcast, man. It's been a little minute, but I'm glad to see y'. All. Q, my brother. How was your week, man? [00:00:29] Speaker B: Man, my week was great up until Friday. So for my birthday, I got tickets to go see Rick Ross in Greensboro. You know, my baby got the tickets for me. I was excited, man. We get 25 minutes away from Greensboro, we get an alert. An alert on the phone. Rick Ross, they done cancel the show, bro. They done cancel the show. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Is Rick Ross known for counseling shows or is it just. [00:00:54] Speaker B: Man, we just found out he known for that. Wow. He's known for that, bro. [00:00:58] Speaker A: But they send the money back. [00:01:00] Speaker B: Yeah, they gonna send the money back, but you still don't. You know, you got outfits, you got a room, you got gas, you got all the other stuff that's involved in that, but you only get the money back for the tickets. So you know how that goes. I mean, I guess if they would have counseled it two weeks before, right? You probably could have got your room. You probably could have got your money for the room. But being that it's the day of, you can't get your money back for that, so. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Yeah, that the last minute thing. [00:01:24] Speaker B: Last minute, bro. [00:01:25] Speaker A: So, dang. So you mean to tell me so y' all end up going to Greensboro? [00:01:29] Speaker B: Yeah, we. Yeah, we was already there, 25 minutes away, so. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Dad. Boy. Yeah, y' all basically made the most of the best out of it. [00:01:38] Speaker B: Yeah, of course. It's like life, you know, when life give you lemons, you got to make lemonade. [00:01:42] Speaker A: So that's where North Carolina A T at, right? [00:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:46] Speaker A: Yeah. My. My daughter, she. She was supposed to go to North Carolina A and T. I'm kind of glad that she didn't, but. Cause one of her friends. Well, not one of her friends, most of her friends went to North Carolina A and T. And she said that before class started, they was doing a whole lot of partying. Like they. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do say that's a party school. [00:02:10] Speaker A: Matter of fact, I think she was talking about going to the. They got homecoming coming up. She was talking about going there. [00:02:20] Speaker B: I know you got your feelings about that kind of stuff, man. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Listen, I think in the next few more weeks, I believe she going to see Bryson Tiller in a concert. This be her first concert, though. I was trying to figure out. I was trying to, you know, me and her was talking about it, and I was asking, like, you know, you got a room and everything else. And she was like, nah. I said, so you just gonna drive up there and drive back? And she was like, yes, sir. I mean, that what everybody do, right? I said, what time the concert is? And she said, seven o'. [00:02:53] Speaker B: Clock. [00:02:54] Speaker A: And I said, azaria, by the time you get like, Bryson Tiller get on, it gonna be late. By the time you finish, it gonna be like, well, in the midnight hour. Yeah, it is. I said, you gonna. And you gonna drive all the way back? I said, I don't think that. I said, you gotta think that one through, man. I said, see, you gotta really talk to people that concerts. [00:03:16] Speaker B: But listen, though, they. They generation a little bit different, bro. They don't. They don't mind hopping in the car that road like that, bro. [00:03:23] Speaker A: Well, they got that gas on their chest. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, they don't mind, bro. How your week been? [00:03:27] Speaker A: My week been very interesting. I was telling B. I said, man, you know, me and my wife just had our third baby shower, and, man, and although I'm thankful for all the outpouring and everything else, man, but I can't do another baby shower. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Boy, this y' all third one? [00:03:45] Speaker A: Yeah, man. And we got so much stuff. [00:03:47] Speaker B: And thank God our baby famous already. Three baby showers, yo, like, bro, that's a lot. [00:03:53] Speaker A: That's what my pastor told my. My told my wife, man. She was like. Cause she said she was just over it. And then he was like, well, you know, Ingrid, just let the people shower you with blessings. You know what I'm saying? [00:04:05] Speaker B: Yeah, most definitely. [00:04:06] Speaker A: You know, they. You know, they know if they know somewhat y' all journey, and they just kind of want, you know, wanting to shower the baby with blessings. So I ain't gonna lie. We receive it. You know what I'm saying? [00:04:17] Speaker B: Most definitely receive the blessings. [00:04:19] Speaker A: I definitely is burned out by baby showers, for one. [00:04:23] Speaker B: Did y' all have the baby shower food? What y' all had, [00:04:27] Speaker A: man? [00:04:27] Speaker B: It was two things in particular that [00:04:29] Speaker A: I'm looking for, okay? The first one, her daddy threw one, and it was basically like a cookout. [00:04:34] Speaker B: Okay, Gotcha. [00:04:35] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? And so he had, like, you know, I can say that baby shot food. I'm surprised he did. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Did he have the meatballs? [00:04:42] Speaker A: Yeah, they had the meatballs. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Pasta salad? [00:04:45] Speaker A: Yeah, he had pasta salad. Okay. [00:04:46] Speaker B: He passed the test. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Then fries. Then we had, like, blue crabs. They love blue crabs down there in Charleston. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Oh, y' all got fancy. [00:04:54] Speaker A: And so, you know, he had two bushel of crab, blue crabs, and he cooked them and they had this long table, man. They threw it up, all the crabs. [00:05:04] Speaker B: That's how they get down. [00:05:05] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? And bust it open, man. Now, you can't play with them now with that. With that blue crowd. Now. You can't. You can't bust a crowd open and say, you finish it. And. And somebody next to you see all that meat that you left, man, that's why. [00:05:18] Speaker B: That's why I don't eat crabs, bro. That's why I don't eat crap, bro. I don't got time to be playing with no food like that, man. I. I want them, man, put it on the plate so I go in and eat it. Man, I ain't got time to play [00:05:26] Speaker A: with no food, boy, it be like, boy, what you doing with that crowd? You ain't finished that crowd. What you doing? [00:05:32] Speaker B: Hey, that's like us with chicken, though. Like, you go. You get with certain people, they be eating chicken, they be like, damn, man, I done finished that. Like, bro, you left all that. No, ain't no way you finish. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Well, you wouldn't. Like. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't like seeing my son eat chicken. Like, hey, I'm gonna tell you, that generation of kids, right, son, 14. So that generation of kids, for some odd reason, I think they've been raised up on chicken tenders. They don't know how to eat no like, no way. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Yeah, man, you supposed. [00:06:00] Speaker A: Bro don't eat away. [00:06:02] Speaker B: They don't. Bro. I be seeing a lot of them that. They don't know how to eat chicken. Like, bro, when you get done with your chicken, that junk, that little gristle part. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Yeah, the little gristle part. [00:06:08] Speaker B: You're supposed to be. That's supposed to be exposed. You're supposed to be able to see all that, bro. [00:06:11] Speaker A: Well, I had a grandma. I had a great grandma, had no teats. Boy, I seen her rip one with just her guns, boy. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Boy, them guns had to be tough, boy. [00:06:21] Speaker A: I said, man, boy, how she did it, Boy, I ain't never seen. To this day. I ain't never seen nobody eat chicken with no teeth, no false teeth, no nothing. But I seen her did it. [00:06:33] Speaker B: Boy, that's crazy work. I ain't gonna lie. That's crazy work. That's crazy work. [00:06:37] Speaker A: I bet grandpa ain't had no problem, boy, I'm telling. [00:06:41] Speaker B: I was thinking I wouldn't go sit by my grandpa. I know he used to be a happy man. [00:06:45] Speaker A: Hey, I'm gonna tell you, which I'm joking about. [00:06:48] Speaker B: It. [00:06:48] Speaker A: But seriously, he probably ain't had no problem in that department because they had 14 kids. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Hey, yo, you know what's crazy? I was just talking to somebody about this the other day. For some strange reason, I don't know why those people back then had so many kids as opposed to like now. Like, I think the maximum threshold for most families nowadays is probably about four kids. [00:07:08] Speaker A: Four kids. [00:07:09] Speaker B: But back in the day, boy, you gotta think them jokers had 10, 11, 12, 13. Like boy, that's a lot of kids we having. [00:07:15] Speaker A: I think they was raising sharecroppers, man. [00:07:18] Speaker B: Yeah, they needed somebody, they needed somebody help with the work. [00:07:21] Speaker A: They were raising up sharecroppers, man. And it's funny that you brought it up, man, it made me thought about when I was growing up in the 80s 90s and me and my brother were just talking about some stuff yesterday. We got, we got a little debate. He said, man, I would rather get beat by dad, get my butt cutting by dad than mom. I said, why is that? I said, I, I said, I figured it would have been the opposite. He said, nah, boy, mom picking up anything like right next to her and she like, you know. He said, he was like, she put, he was a hammer right next to him and she pick it up and like swung it at him. I said, man, come on now, you [00:08:01] Speaker B: not about lying, mom, come on, exaggerating. [00:08:03] Speaker A: No, you're not, you're not by lying like that, man. But, but serious though, serious though, Q, back in those days, man, like for some odd reason. Well, I would say this 80s 90s, born up in the 80s and 90s. I love my childhood hindsight looking at it and I appreciate everything about it, bro. You know what I'm saying? The tough love, the. You know what I'm saying? The. I mean we grew up without technology, bro. [00:08:33] Speaker B: It's crazy you say that. I just had this conversation yesterday and okay, so during the conversation it was me and, and my brother in law who kind of like is in my same, like same age group. Then we were talking to another man, he was like in the 70s. So we're just comparing the childhoods. But I was like, and then we're talking about kids of today, right? Bro, they just one thing that was so different, bro. They don't know the struggle of having house phones, right? Nobody has cell phones. So if me and you make plans, we trying to coordinate over a house phone, right? So if B, if I'm like, yo, we going to play basketball at 5 o', clock, right bro, what if you don't show up to the park. And I done had to walk to the park without a ball. But you the one with the ball, right? Bro, I'm sitting at the park, like, praying to God and hoping that either B show up or somebody else show up with a ball, bro. I'm like, yo, these kids don't know how I feel to, like, go outside at the beginning of the day and for. For you to walk in the house twice, and they'll be like, hey, we ain't running in and out. Right? [00:09:30] Speaker A: Right. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Then you outside for the rest of the day, bro. [00:09:32] Speaker A: Right? That's facts. You maybe thought about that, man. Like, you couldn't send no quick text message. Hey, don't forget the basketball. [00:09:39] Speaker B: You couldn't, bro. Whatever you didn't discuss on that phone, it was done with. [00:09:43] Speaker A: Right? And also, man, I keep thinking about, like, the trust that our parents had to allow us to stay outside for so long and come back in. And. And I'm sure they had a lot of danger back then, you know what I'm saying? People snatching kids up back then, too. But, I mean, I figured we was so doggone bad. Like, they probably. You know what I'm saying? Like, they probably would have. Nah, let me drop y' all back off, man. But even during that time, I would say we had a village of people in the community that were just watching your kids and stuff like that. Or you can go to such and such house and, you know, your homeboy house and the mom, his mama fish was starting to eat, you know what I'm saying? Almost like, it. Like, we. [00:10:28] Speaker B: Like, everybody was every. Everybody was family, and everybody was helping with each other kids, like. Right. It wasn't no thing with, like, well, I had to do something for your son. No, it was just when your kid was at my house, I made sure he ate when. Yo, when. When they. You know, vice versa, like, so it wasn't no thing with, like, people were throwing it up in your face where they had be. But this is the question that I keep on asking. What did we used to eat all day, bro? We would go outside and. And be out there all day, but, bro, we didn't have money like these kids had. What was we eating all day, bro? I don't. That's the one thing I can't. [00:11:00] Speaker A: I can think on it, because back then we used to have, like, little finger food, like sandwiches we used to live off. Yeah. Bologna sandwich, ham sandwich, you know, And I think, like, grandma used to fix us breakfast, and then during the midday we had, like, little sandwich foods or something like that. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:21] Speaker A: And then dinner, you know, basically we had a full meal. You know what I'm saying? You getting your protein out. You getting, like, two protein. They gonna add some starch with it. You know what I'm saying? [00:11:35] Speaker B: Rice is definitely gonna complete that meal. Rice is definitely complete. [00:11:38] Speaker A: And on top of that rice, you gonna eat a biscuit, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, meals was real simple, too, though. Like, it wasn't like this gourmet stuff, man. It was like. [00:11:47] Speaker B: It's like, bro, we could throw, like. We could throw some rice, sausage or hot dogs, and some pork and beans, like, bro, and that junk. Like, that was a luxury, but I [00:11:55] Speaker A: could call it struggle. [00:11:57] Speaker B: They call it struggle meal. But, bro, that was a luxury meal, boy. I love that meal. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Yes, sir. I cooked that the other day. I ain't even gonna lie. [00:12:02] Speaker B: I love it. [00:12:03] Speaker A: I had rice, poking beans, and some pork chop. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Come on, bro. That's one. That's one of the ones. [00:12:09] Speaker A: I took it back, yo. [00:12:10] Speaker B: That's one of the ones now. [00:12:11] Speaker A: I took it. I took it back, man. But, Q, one of the questions, man, Let me ask you something, though, man. What's one of the things from the. Cause you was born in the mid-90s, and so mid-90s, you was raised up, like, late 90s to early 2000. And what's one of the things, man, that during your childhood that you wish you can see now in this generation? [00:12:43] Speaker B: I will honestly say, and this is probably gonna sound a little crazy, but I wish everybody was on the same broke level, low key. I know that sound crazy, but we didn't have, like, a lot of competition with each other. Everybody pretty much lived the same way. You know, we all joked, but. And then. But I would. Joking nowadays is looked at as bullying, but we all joked on each other. Like, it wasn't no competition thing. It was like, okay, if you got a pair of pants that I like. Brad was nothing for us to trade out clothes. It was nothing for us to be like, you know, you got a dollar? I got a dollar. Let's go to the store and just see what we could get together. Like, maybe that's not the right term to use, but I enjoyed that. Everybody was, like, all on the same playing field, and we didn't have social media to tell us that we were living below anybody else. We just knew what we knew, which was good enough for us. I do. I do miss that aspect of it. [00:13:38] Speaker A: So basically, you feel like Social media. With social media, you got a lot of people out there that pretending that they have this, this wealth, this wealth going on, man. And kids now finding their identity through the things that they looking at and feeling like that's the level of success right there. Right. You know what I'm saying? Versus if you take that away, basically, you know, you won't be able to like, compare the two, you know what I'm saying? Right. You know, we all on the same level here, you know what I mean? [00:14:09] Speaker B: Right. So for instance, right. So like, okay, I don't know the name of that book set that came out this year that all the kids had to have, but it's a book set that came out that all the kids had to have it. It was over a hundred dollars. Like, bro, we grew up in the time frame where, like a time period where like you get a JanSport book sack, bruh, and everybody good. Like, nobody's like, yeah, looking at the next, next man, that like, now of course you always had those kids that their parents got a little bit more. But like, we made our clothes. Like when I say we made our clothes, it didn't matter. We threw on some, some, some jeans from Walmart, a pair of decent shoes and a T shirt. Bro, we made the clothes. Like, the clothes didn't make us like, oh, we ain't got on this label. We ain't got on that label, bro, we made all that stuff. Like, bro, I was still cool with, I could be, still be cool with no name brand because we were taught that the person of you was more important than the materials that you have. Like, so I think like, we missed out, we missing out on that now because a lot of kids feel like if I go to school and I don't have on this label, if I go to school and I don't have that, I'm not, I can't be on the level with these certain kids or this group of kids when we was in school, bro, you ain't need all that stuff to be, to be popular or to be cool, bro. Just be cool. [00:15:22] Speaker A: Right, Right. That's, that's it, man. And I, I truly believe with, with me, I truly believe, man, if I can take anything away from my era and I, I take the fact that we didn't have social media and I take like, of course technology, you know, I, I enjoy technology because it, you know, it advance and, and where we at in life now, we, we a lot better. But the other part that, that suffer was our social skills. Yeah, that plays A whole lot of part where we can't really connect. You go in line, grocery store, people waiting, they on the phone, you know what I'm saying? People don't have as much patience. You can't help but have patience back then when you didn't have a phone test to your hand like that, you know what I'm saying? [00:16:10] Speaker B: Back in the day. [00:16:12] Speaker A: And people, you know, genuinely like you can have a conversation with someone, you know, I mean, now I see that kids are have a level of social anxiety. Just yesterday, you know, at the baby shower, you know, after we kind of cleaned up everything, everybody was leaving. I was trying to get my son to go ahead and dap up the men or whatever, you know what I'm saying? Like, just dap him up like. Like you already know, you know. And he was like, you know, he act like he wanted to do it. And I'm like, hold up. I said, what's going on? Like you having like level anxiety or something? And then he was like, I just don't want to do it, dad. Like, you know, And I said, B went. And I don't know if I'm wrong or not, but I kind of made him did it because I told him that especially like, the man that is in here, you know, for this occasion is men that you've seen in your life, man, like, and, you know, they connected to me. And essentially, you know, if you need any. Excuse me, if you need anything, you know, these are the same men that you can go to and you might tell me you can't really speak to him. And you know, later on I thought about it, like, you know, he have levels social anxiety. Like, he just, you know, I guess he kind of freezes. I think that's a real thing, right? Like, I ain't shunning that. I ain't saying that it's not a problem, you know, because I experienced that growing up. But, you know, like, I was trying to be, you know, certain things is a muscle that you have to practice, you know what I'm saying? And these are moments where you practice these things, you know what I'm telling you? You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't saying you got to have it all together. Like, you know, at some point in time you going to gain confidence, you know what I'm saying? And I don't know what that is to make you trigger to the point where you want to. Like, now I just want not be seen. But, you know, this is right here. We practicing right now. These are Moments where you practice. So that's the other part too. And the reason why I tie social media to that Q is because, you know, a lot of times you get in that cycle of binge swiping up, you know what I'm saying? Going to the next video, going to the next video. And his algorithm probably is for kids around his age and like a lot of things that he see on there, like he made a comment that, you know, he was like, dad, what if I buy my own car? Like, and I get in trouble in school, you know, like, will you gonna take my car away from me? That I brought? Absolutely. I said, I said two things, B. You ain't at the age where you can buy yourself a car outta cash. Two, you still need insurance, you know what I'm saying? So I said, what you saying, man? And I said, see, this is what I'm talking about. Like social media, like he getting that binge watching. And I say, man, if the government wanted to really control our kids, man, I put it on the phone, man, I put it. [00:19:20] Speaker B: But when you think about it, bro, you feed their algorithm, they starting to do that. So I want to go back to something that you said earlier. You was like, you didn't know if you was wrong for doing that. I don't think you ever wrong for doing stuff like that. Because at the end of the day, you've experienced life enough to understand, like communication and relationships is what makes a huge difference in life. Sometimes it ain't about what you know is who you know. If you can't make a lot of those connections, then it's going to put you behind the eight ball. Because at some point, I don't care if it's a job interview, I don't care what it is. You got to have human interaction. And I think social media is doing a horrible job because I'm seeing this from a lot of kids. Like they don't know how to interact with nobody except for people that, that's in their age bracket. If you're not in their age bracket, they don't know how to communicate with you. And it ain't even got to be hard stuff. It's simple stuff like just sitting down, having regular conversation. Like, you can feel that they feel like, like anxious about it. Like, you can feel like they, they ready for the conversation to get over. They hope you go ahead and leave them alone so they could go do what they supposed to do. But it's our jobs as leaders, as teachers, as mentors, as fathers, as, you know, we Ain't a women, but as mothers, for us to break those type of things because we've had a chance to experience life, and we know that some of these things that y' all are shying away from are things that y' all are going to need in real life. Like, you got to know how to communicate. I'm not saying you got to be a public speaker, but I got to know how to hold a conversation with you. If I go for a job interview to work at your company, I still got to talk to somebody. So you did the right thing. And I feel like you said, you know, with social media and technology in general, like, we. It is great for its intended purpose, but it's indoctrinating kids to the point where they're kind of like, cut off from what we would perceive as reality. [00:21:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I think too, also, because it's an epidemic just around the world, I believe that we should look into having that being one of the studies, classroom work for social media and showing kids, teaching kids to educate them on how to use social media and what it's doing and stuff like that. I'm just throwing it out there. I ain't saying I'll be the one who started, but I just think that's an excellent idea because I truly believe we're not gonna get away from it. [00:21:38] Speaker B: We not. [00:21:38] Speaker A: Like, we not. I think the more that we educate our youth. And of course, you do it at home. Parents. You do your stuff at home. But. But the thing is, with parents, they start the kids off with the social media. I mean, not with social media, with the pad, you know what I'm saying? And they give them the pad and as a time of like, okay, I can get time to myself now, you know what I'm saying? And shun them off to the side. [00:22:03] Speaker B: That's the new babysitter. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the new babysitter. And it becoming. And I don't know if you ever seen somebody try to take a tablet away from their child, man, them kids [00:22:13] Speaker B: get strong as don't know what, man. [00:22:15] Speaker A: Man, listen here. [00:22:15] Speaker B: Kids get strong as don't know what. [00:22:17] Speaker A: Like it's a drug now, man. [00:22:18] Speaker B: Like, it becomes the demonic almost like where they turn into a whole different person. And honestly, I may be. This may be a stretch, what I'm about to say. I wouldn't say that it's not demonic, because anything that could control the child to that point. That's not normal, bro. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Right, right, right. [00:22:37] Speaker B: That's not normal, bro. We. We've. We've when we were younger, we had things taken away from us. It made us mad, but it didn't make us do what these kids do when they, when they like, it's like, like you said, almost like a drug. When you take those devices, when you take that technology from kids, it's like their world is crushed. Their, their whole being is crushed because it all revolves around the technology. [00:22:58] Speaker A: Right? Right. [00:22:59] Speaker B: That's a problem. Like, bro, that's a huge problem. Like you said, like, man, that's something that really needs to be looked at because man is doing, man. Sometimes when I'm scrolling, right? Like my algorithm pretty much shows me motivational and, you know, informative stuff. I have to train myself at my grown adult age, I have to train myself to finish videos. When I'm making the video, most of the time, bro, I try to tell myself keep the video within under a minute. Like it don't matter what, what information I'm bringing. Sometimes I have to record a video like five or six times to try to take some stuff out and still get you the message under a minute. Because I know people attention span is. It's not that long. But bro, that's a real problem. Let's think about how much stuff we gonna miss if we can't watch a video that's two minutes, right? [00:23:44] Speaker A: And it's something that you said, man, made me thought about this Q. Like it's teaching you to be impatient, like being that way. Because really our attention span, even for adults is a lot less than kids. You know what I'm saying? To be honest. But. And they say about 30 seconds to a minute, you know, if something don't catch you within that amount of time, like you scrolling on to the next, right? So just imagine the kids part right when they watching something and they just kind of scrolling, scrolling and now they have a level and actually it kind of create a level of anxiety too on anxiousness and also it make them there they don't have as much patience. Right. Right now we talking about, we still talking about watching videos now. How much of that translating in real life? When do you start them off with something and they don't go as the plan and they really just like, I don't want to do it no more. And you see it so many times. It's so many times where they just ready to quit in middle of the season or just middle anything, anything that, that provide like tough. [00:24:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that's hard. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Yeah, that's hard. [00:24:57] Speaker B: Yeah, man, this crazy. The other day I was in traffic, man, I had I had planned where I was going. I planned out my time for, for a certain time. Cuz I know how long it took to get there. And so it was a detour that added 15 minutes to my trip. And because of the generation that we in, because of, you know, the, our, our mindset makeup, now it made it, it triggered me, bro. It made me very upset. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:25:20] Speaker B: But I'm like, yo, that's life. A lot of times you're gonna have stuff mapped out, you're gonna have stuff planned out and it's not going to go the way that you want it to go. You still need to know how to take those detours because on the, on the other side of that detour, it's still the destination that you want to get to. And I say that, to say this, it's like that with the kids. When things get hard, bro, we still have to go through it to get to where we want to get to. Like, it's like they're trained because of the lack of attention that they can hold to. Just if it's not tickling my fancy right now, I'm ready to quit. I'm ready to go on to the next thing. But in life, bro, that's not the way life works. Because if that's your mindset, if that's our mentality, we're never going to finish anything because there's going to be hiccups, there's going to be things you don't like. Like, the one thing I can't stand for parents to do is like, if a child don't like something, oh, they ain't got to do it. Yo, in life you gonna have to do some stuff you don't like to do. Like, and I, this gentle parenting thing to me, and I don't have kids, so a lot of times I try not to speak on it. But it's a very thin line between gentle parenting and excuses. Because, okay, you don't like to do this, so it don't make you happy. So I'm not gonna make you do it. What happens when you don't want to go to work? What happens when your job ain't, when people ain't hiring? Like, like now you got more people that need jobs and jobs available. What happens in a period like this? But you already got a job, but you don't like it, you're not going to sit through that job because you've always been, you've always been hand fed to the point where if you don't like it, you could Quit doing it. That's not. Your job as a parent. Is to raise young adults. Is to raise adults. I think a lot of times people get caught into raising their kids for the now. Your job is to build a stronger d. I've seen the video the other day that said parents, y' all are raising kids that we can't even hire. [00:27:08] Speaker A: Wow. [00:27:08] Speaker B: They, they. He. The dude was like, within the last two weeks, I've had to fire four people because they want to come to work whenever they get there. When they get there, they don't want to do no work, but they want their checks to be massive. And if you look at all of that, that's a byproduct of how you raised. Because we grew up well in a time where like, bro, you had to earn a dollar, you didn't get a dollar because you did chores. And that was part of life. You did that. You were going to do chores anyway. Yeah, we didn't get let off the hook because we got football practice, but they got football after football practice, after basketball practice, them dishes still going to be waiting on you. And you're still going to do it because that's priority. If you don't do that, then there won't be no football, there won't be no basketball. Nowadays it's like, we're going to try to pay you all for doing chores. We're going to. If you don't feel like doing it when you get home, then it's okay. But what happens in life when you got responsibilities to do after. After the clock, after you get off the clock and you still got responsibilities in real life, then what happened? You didn't train the child up to the point where they feel like they ain't got to do nothing. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Right. It made me thought about Michelle Obama. She talk about. She was talking to. She was doing a conference or whatever. But one of the things she brought up and talked about was she told Barack Obama that we gotta get a hold of this right now with their kids because she don't want to raise a kid that live in a basement and they don't want to go out. So some things they gonna have to be a little more structured, you know? And, and no, you can't do that. No, we not doing that. You know what I'm saying? And, and I 100% agree with her. You know, like teaching your kids, telling them no, right? And. And no. And guess what? No, period. No explanation. Because now kids feel like they got. You gotta explain to them why. Why you said no, right? Because I said so. You know what I mean? Right. You know what I'm saying? And sometimes, you know, and, and so what happened is. [00:29:15] Speaker B: Hold up, B. Let me put a disclaimer. I'll let you finish. Let me put a disclaimer out. We're not saying to teach kids not to have a voice because some things you can't explain. Like, hey, this is why I don't want to do this, because this are the effects. But everything is not up for discussion. Go ahead, bro. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Yeah, not, not everything up for discussion. Because what happened is when once you get them to that point, then they want to question authority, right? And I'm, I'm, I'm always. And I'm good with kids having a voice and where they, you know, they can have a level of dialogue with, with you, you know what I'm saying? But you know, for me, I feel like it got to be a set time. Like, you know, you know, you questioning what I'm telling you, then that's a problem. You know what I'm saying? If you question me, you're going to question authority or you gonna question somebody that, that you get on somebody's job, you're gonna, you gonna question them too, as well, right? Instead of just doing something, something as [00:30:12] Speaker B: simple as, hey, I need you to go in there and clean up that kitchen. [00:30:15] Speaker A: Why? [00:30:16] Speaker B: Why I got to clean up? [00:30:17] Speaker A: Why? Why such and such. You ain't told such and such to do that. See, that's a, see, See that's, that's. That, that's, that's the, that's the problem that, that I, I really see by you, you know, sometimes as a parent, you want to over explain certain stuff. But sometimes, like I like the word of God said, let your navy nay and your yay be yay. You know, and sometimes they don't even deserve explanation behind that because some stuff, some stuff is much bigger. Like say for instance, you in the leadership role. Some stuff is much, much bigger that you can't really explain everything. Sometimes you just need them to do because you gotta, you, you gotta report to a higher up, you know, sometimes. And sometimes you can tell your kids certain stuff. But you, you don't deserve. You, you don't have to explain everything to them, man. Sometimes that's teaching them and say, okay, especially I would rather you question if you feel like I'm telling you to do something to put your life in danger or. But if I'm giving you instruction to do something. Yeah, like why you gonna. Right, like, okay, all I gotta do Such and such. Like, my son got caught up in doing that. One time I told him to take the trash out. And he said, dad, what? No, no, I ain't told him to take the trash out. He take the trash out. But I told him to pray. We was out for eat last week. And I said, b, go ahead and pray. Like, dad, why I gotta pray? You always ask me to pray. You ain't never asked Zard to pray. Pray. Cause I took. [00:31:48] Speaker B: And you see what I'm saying, Boy, you almost brought it out. You, boy. [00:31:53] Speaker A: Yeah, like, you almost brought it out. I didn't say, yeah, pray. And reason being is. And this is the other part too, man. Like, reason why I'm saying this, reason why I think this is so important though, Q, is because, you know, sometimes as a leader, like, if you see certain greatness in a person, like how God see greatness in us when God give us instruction to do certain stuff, what do we look like? Like, God, why we gotta do certain things, you know, when he trying to grow us up, you know what I'm saying? So you questioning something that essentially is tied to your growth, you know what I mean? And, but you don't see it because you in the moment, you know what I'm saying? And so sometimes your posture have to be in a way of a level of submit, because every man got to submit to something, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes question everything ain't. Sometimes questioning certain things ain't necessarily like, you know, you submitting. Now you're coming off as, as, as I want to say, disgruntled but disruptive, you know what I'm saying? You want to question everything now, you know what I'm saying? [00:33:00] Speaker B: Right. So I give you an issue. It's definitely an issue. [00:33:03] Speaker A: So I see that a lot in this generation. [00:33:05] Speaker B: You do. I give you two examples, man. Like, okay, so the first example is going to be something that I, that I wouldn't. I'm not going to entertain with you asking me this question. Yeah, hey, I need you to go take out the trash. Don't ask me nothing. Just take out the trash. Because that's your payment for living here. You ain't. Don't, don't. Don't ask me. I'm not explaining nothing on that. You taking out the trash, Right? I told you to. So something is like, yo, I don't really want you hanging with those guys. And you ask me, dad, why you don't want me? Why you don't really want me hanging with those guys. Now, something like that. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Something like that. [00:33:33] Speaker B: I'll explain. Like, there are explainable moments, but everything ain't up for discussion because you can't go to these people. Job. You can't go to these people. I don't even care. [00:33:43] Speaker A: They love. [00:33:44] Speaker B: Well, I'm gonna have a career. Okay, cool. You still can't go questioning everything because people will get you out the door. You will be in the unemployment line looking for. Looking for something. So like you said about God, bro, sometimes in life you're just going to have to receive instructions and act on those instructions with. With no explanation, no nothing. You just have to do it, bro. Like. Like, so these kids, like, I. It's to the point where, like, I don't know. [00:34:10] Speaker A: I don't, bro. I don't. [00:34:11] Speaker B: It ain't the kids, it's the parents. Because if we. If we could get away with some of the stuff that they do, we would have got away with it. It's more of the parents. And I think a lot of times, because the kids are so heart, like, really out there with. And outspoken, they get a brunt of the blame for. For things that goes on with them. But really and truly, it's the parents, because the Bible say, train up a child in the way that they should go. It don't just say, be a child friend. Make them happy. Make sure they're always loving what's going on. Say train sometimes. Training. You went to basic training, right? It didn't always feel good, but the thing with basic training was for. That was your basic training to get in the military. That was your basic training for the things that we need you to do when you train it. It don't always feel good, but that's our job. As. As. And sometimes it ain't from a parental standpoint, just as people who's got influence over these kids, it's our job to train them. Like, every conversation I have with you ain't gonna feel good. I'm not gonna always tell you something that's gonna tickle your ears and make you happy. Some things you're gonna go in your room and you're gonna act like Trey was acting when he was on that movie. Sometimes you're gonna want to go outside my head. Yeah, you ain't gonna do it, but. [00:35:15] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:35:16] Speaker B: Sometimes you're gonna want to do it, but, bro, that's just how it is. [00:35:20] Speaker A: It is, though, man. One of the things, too, like, with me having a young adult that's in college, man, I'm so proud of her. One of the Things that I do realize though, why, why it's so important for people to if depending on your religion, depending on, I ain't even gonna say depending on religion because we Christian based man over here. And so one of the things I would say what helped me a whole lot concerning her man, is making sure she was going to church. Because like I told my daughter, at some point in time in your life, you might, at some point in time in your life, that life will get real tough and you ain't going to have all the answers and you going to get to the point where you're going to have to seek God for yourself, you know what I'm saying? And, and it's. You have done that over a period of your life. Rather she realized or not like in school, you know what I'm saying? Praying for a test, you know what I'm saying? These are the things that you seeking God for your, for you based off of your situation, you know what I'm saying? What you need him for. And so really it just kind of teaching you as you become get older, you know, that you can rely on God on certain things as you get older, you know what I'm saying? And, and guess what, that, that part of that memory or that muscle memory is something that you have, you have exercised so much and we become like, you know, natural, you know what I'm saying? When you get in a situation, that's one of the things I realized is so important really man, just with everything you do in life for me is start off the foundation always gonna be God, you know what I'm saying? And like I always say, like some stuff you just don't, you know, kids ain't nothing wrong with questioning, man. Some stuff you just don't, you know, you don't know, you don't see the bigger picture for as a kid into hindsight when you got older, ah, you have aha moment like okay, this is why dad told me to do this right here, you know what I'm saying? This is why, you know, he had created habits because, you know, habits, it's hard to break, you know what I'm saying? Once you get to the point, if you kind of just wake up any type of way and just slack, you know, by the time you become a young adult, that right, they gonna follow you, you know what I'm saying? All the way till you get older. But I'm gonna shift a little bit. Q. Cause I want to ask you man, about your emotions. I know your parents didn't really Care about your emotions, not your feelings back then. They just really didn't. Mm. Like how you. How you categorize your mental back then, man. Cause you seem like you did real good. Your mom, even though some of the stuff, like she was kind of straightening the line a little bit between, you know. [00:38:11] Speaker B: Right. [00:38:12] Speaker A: A little abusive, but you good, though. [00:38:15] Speaker B: And so, like, I will say this, like, and everything that we say when it comes to, you know, child rearing and parenting is subjective. But because sometimes some of the things that we. That they did in old days, it didn't. It wouldn't really conducive to a great upbringing, but I will say it didn't hurt us. Every situation is different. You, of course, you do the best you can with your kids. Once they get influenced from other places, it gets different. So we not shaming nobody on your parenting. However you parent ultimately is your business. That's what you do. But as far as my emotion, my emotional capacity, my mama always created a place for us to, like, really be able to speak on how we feel, long as we did it out of respect, like, we could come to her and talk to her about anything. And I know a lot of parents say that, but my mama was one of those type of parents. Like, I'd rather y' all come tell me than for me to find out some other place, right? That's not saying that it's gonna be an easy conversation. That's not saying that I'm not gonna feel some type of way about, you know, whatever you just told me. I remember when she found out that I was having sex, she was real upset about that because we've always had a relationship where she would want me to come tell her that myself. When she. When she found out, cuz she found out from the girl, and my mama came home, she was like, is there something you need to tell me? I was like, no, ma'. Am. Um, so she called me in her room. She didn't, like, she didn't try to do it in front of my brother and sisters. She called me in the room and she was like, you know, so and so just told me what was going on and all of that. She said, I'm real disappointed in you because I thought we were better than that. And that kind of like, that did something more to me than her actually fussing about what was going on. Her saying, like, oh, I thought we was better than that. Because she's always created a place for us to be able to say how we feel. So I kind of like, I always Been a person, and we were empowered to do that without being disrespectful, without questioning everything. There's a time and a place for everything. I think sometime where kids get that, where they get it mixed up at is timing too. Like, okay, when my mama tell me to that we get that we do in the kitchen for a week. Now why we gotta do it for? I'm not about to ask you that right now, but she always made a space for us to later on to be like, you know, why. Why you changed it to us doing the kitchen for a week? Oh, I changed it because y' all were having such an issue with day by day figuring out who day it was. So I said, we'll just give y' all a week. So she's always made a safe space for me to be able to speak on my emotions and not have to bottle it in. [00:40:45] Speaker A: Wow. Wow. Yeah. Shout out to mama, man. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah, she definitely did that. [00:40:49] Speaker A: Yeah. The reason why I asked is because. So with that being said, all the things that you kind of learned growing up and you seen growing up, do you think that helped build your emotional fortitude? Are you being stronger and also how you feel about this generation of mental capacity when it comes down to the youth? [00:41:15] Speaker B: I think it did help me build my mental fortitude. And just, you know, my mama, my granddaddy, my mom and boyfriend, Mr. Lee, I don't ever want to leave him out. Just, you know, all the people that my aunts, uncles, everybody that had a part of that made my mental fortitude stronger. And I think as far as the kids today, man, I don't blame them as much as I really, as everybody else blame them, because I understand what they're up against, man. We didn't have social media and people kind of like to kind of dim the fact on what social media does to the mental and to your mental fortitude. It. It does a lot, bro. It. It really do. And if you ain't. If you ain't careful, even as an adult, and it does a lot. I always say this. If you're not mentally strong, Facebook and, you know, all these other social media sites is not something that you should really partake in because you got to be very self aware with that, because you can never do enough. You're never doing enough. You never got enough money, you're never happy in your relationship. You're just. You're never enough compared to the social media world. Because when we were growing up, like I said earlier, we knew what was going on in our neighborhood. We didn't have the luxury of knowing what was going on with everybody's life. So that I feel like our mental fortitude, low key, comes from us being shielded a little bit like, and not being exposed to the entire world. So how about yourself, though? [00:42:39] Speaker A: I think hindsight, you know, just looking at it, man, I had young parents that would just. I always make jokes about experimenting, but I guess that is really what it is because I was, it was young. They ain't knew a whole lot of stuff. They still was trying to navigate life. But hindsight, you know, just thinking about it did the best that they, the best that they could with information that they did had. And some of the stuff they took from the old school and some of the stuff they, you know, they renovated and thought it was good. Now I look back at it, man, I just think that it helped me out a lot to carry my family, you know what I'm saying? Do what I do, you know, Even when moments when I, you know, my mental was, I say compromise, when I say compromise, you think it would compromise, like it would just fill up with negative thoughts, you know, I had learned how to push through that, you know what I'm saying? And one of the things I realized is, of course I didn't ever. We never was introduced to mental health or anything like that. To be transparent. Mental God was mental health for us. Yeah, yeah, it definitely was, you know what I'm saying? Just pray I can hear my grandma now, baby. Just pray to God, he'll fix it for you. But, you know, that was one of the things and that what really helped me and I believed it, you know what I'm saying? It was one of the things I had believed in, you know what I mean? And I did believe that, you know, anything that I prayed about, whatever, you know, I was, had concern on God, it was concerning for God. And my grandma always taught me to pray about it. That's one of the main things that I realized. So, you know, looking at things, hindsight, I truly believe you do need both. But also, mental health has grown at a exponential rate right now. Everybody and their mom and just, you know what I'm saying, they connected to some type of counselor. And I don't think nothing wrong with that at all, you know what I'm saying? But however, I feel like it do cause an issue on the latter end, you know what I'm saying, with how we push through certain things, you know what I'm saying? Some things I just don't. I believe that you don't have to talk to nobody about. You can pray about it and, and kind of move forward now that I'm at this place in my life now and then I also truly believe, like, even with the kids now, even though they got. They have social media and they have technology at their hand, that they can research anything or they can ask AI for anything. You know, I think all of that's good, you know what I'm saying? But it just kind of takes some of the work out their hand. And some of this stuff I just really believe that they have to figure out on their own. Like I tell my. Tell my son, though, you know, like, like some of this stuff in life. Like, I can teach you 70% of everything to the other 30%, man, you're going to have to figure out on your own, bro, right? [00:45:56] Speaker B: Life going to be his own teacher. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Some of the feelings that you feeling like, you know, you going to feel like you down. You know what I'm saying? One of the things we, me and him struggle with or he struggled with is sitting at the house being bored, like it's okay not doing nothing. Yeah, man, it's okay. [00:46:13] Speaker B: But that. I ain't gonna lie, bro. That. That's. Yo, that's the thing though. Like, these kids are not creative at all. For one, they're so. They're so like by themselves, they're not creative. They don't have a. Like, I'm talking about a real tangible friend group that I can go outside and talk to. So everything is online. So if everybody get busy, then you just sitting in the house. Like, bro, we used to like. And they feel like they should be doing something all the time, bro. Like, we really used to go outside and make our own fun. Like we made our own stuff up. [00:46:42] Speaker A: Like climb a tree, climbing towers, right? So they like the little hide and seek. You see some kid playing hide go seek. [00:46:49] Speaker B: Yeah, like, no, not now. [00:46:51] Speaker A: Talking about now. You ain't now high go see. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Nah, not now. [00:46:54] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? Tag froze, frozen. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. [00:46:58] Speaker B: Like, so to me, to me, it's just like. And I got to play devil's advocate here real quick with mental health stuff. I think the mental health stuff is great. And I think to a certain point it's great because at what point do you start realizing that you're avoiding responsibility for what people are actually doing? Because some of it is they're blaming everything on mental health. Like, yo, you. We were taught that if you do something, there's a reaction that's going to happen for whatever it is that you do. So I feel like when you give people excuses like in the like, y' all. Mental health is not that that's is real. But everything. Kids don't do their homework mental health, they go into class joking and playing. Mental health. Like, bro, everything ain't mental health, though. [00:47:53] Speaker A: No, it ain't. But. And I know we back. We almost to our time, man, but I just thought about something while you was talking, you know, like in like this year alone, I even between 20, 20, 2020 until now, you know how many kids who having like, they, they don't have an issue with identifying their gender? [00:48:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that. [00:48:24] Speaker A: That's like although they a. A male, but they identify with female, bro. And vice versa. [00:48:32] Speaker B: That's a mental disorder, bro. I don't, I ain't trying to get, I ain't trying to get us counsel, but bro, that's a mental disorder. [00:48:36] Speaker A: So, so what I'm saying is like when you brought up like, not everything need counseling, you know what I'm saying? Like now we, now we send our kids to therapy to understand they, you know what I'm saying, what gender they was born and versus what they identify with, bro, that's crazy. Now what I'm saying is. But people actually sending their kids and so if they are boy, they identify as a female, they sending their kids to. To. To therapy, counseling when they probably need anyway. But they, but, but I would say. And that's the problem that I, I what. Where. Where we at when it comes down to. To mental health, bro? Like, everybody got different lanes. All the therapists, they counselors and stuff like that. They got to get certified and you know, doing therapy with gays, doing therapy with people who have agenda on. On crisis. And so that's what I'm saying. Like, it's so many different areas when cut out of therapy and counseling, bro. I'm like, man, like, when we going to say shut it off. Ain't nothing wrong with you, sir. [00:49:55] Speaker B: It's not wrong when you have to, bro. It's certain things is character. Certain things is accountability, bro. Like that. That's just we voiding accountability by using the mental health right thing. Like, like if I go out and rob a bank, bro, I made that decision. I planned out going to rob a bank. I did that, bro. There is not to say that there are some things that in my environmental stuff that if I was raised in [00:50:19] Speaker A: a different place, I grew up with lack. [00:50:21] Speaker B: Yeah, there, there's no saying like, okay, cool, but to Sit up here. Oh, he need to go to therapy, bro. I made the decision to do that the same way somebody grew up in the same area that I was in, and they made a decision to go to school, get a good job. I could have did the same thing, bro. We're not going to use mental health as. As the reason why I did that, bro. [00:50:38] Speaker A: And so not gonna do that. [00:50:40] Speaker B: And then the other thing, and I'm sorry to say this, I hope we don't. I hope when we get big time, [00:50:44] Speaker A: don't look back, go back. Yeah, yeah, we probably changed our stance on that. [00:50:49] Speaker B: No, no, no. On this one right here, I'm about to know what I'm about to say. I stand on this. I'm not homophobic at all. If you love the same sex, you do whatever you do. Where I have a problem is these people that identify as the opposite sex. And then you have these people that is co signing this stuff. Like, I seen a doctor on. She was before Congress. And the man asked her a simple question. Can a man born biologically a male have a baby? And like, bro, they went in dialogue for about 20 or 30 minutes about the doctor trying to dance around the answer. Bro, if you are. [00:51:25] Speaker A: Did not want to answer that. [00:51:26] Speaker B: She didn't. Because you don't want to make nobody mad, bro. That is, if you. If I tell you I'm a white man today, you gonna look at me and say, yo, something wrong with. Something wrong with you. If I identify as a white man, you gonna say something wrong with me. So if you are biologically a male or biologically a female and you identify and you really feel like you're the opposite sex, like, bro, that is a mental disorder. Like, I had a girl one time, like, she was a. I guess she was stud or whatever, and she was like, she was thick. So when the guy was like, girl, you think it's on nowhere. She talking about chill broke that gay stuff. Like, bro, you a female. Like, at the end of the day, bro, it's crazy, man. Crazy, dog. [00:52:01] Speaker A: Okay? And I hate that we got to get off, man. We got, like, these two minutes, man. I guess we wrap it up. Q. In conclusion, man, what's your conclusion? [00:52:14] Speaker B: My conclusion is this. Everything that we discussed, everything that was discussed, just really. I want to hit on the social media part real quick, man, if y' all can parents, like, get back into the habit of. Of talking to kids and making kids talk and making them be social, because that is a skill that's going to be used throughout their entire life. Don't let them get the tablet and go in their room and hide all day don't let them get the phone and go in their room and hide all day to the point where they can't even interact with family members. I'm not saying strangers. They can't even interact with family members. Let's get back to sitting at the dinner table, eating, and actually talking. Family functions where we not sitting on our phones, where we actually talking, because adults do it, too. So get back to the point where we could engage with one another. You know, that's. That's pretty much it for me, bro. [00:52:55] Speaker A: Hey, listen, make sure y', all, like, share and, you know, subscribe. We out. [00:53:01] Speaker B: Yes, sir. Sa.