Detach Emotions from Truth.

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Yo, what's up, king me, fam. Hey, thank y' all for tuning in, man. Listen, we have real conversations. We help build stronger kings, which, in turns, help build stronger communities. So to join the royal family, man, all you got to do is find us on all social media platforms. I'm your host for the day. I'm Cue to Don. [00:00:33] Speaker A: I'm Chanel, man. [00:00:35] Speaker B: I'm Mr. Hill to feel. Yes, sir. Listen, we want to say thank y', all because, listen, y' all been rocking with us, and y' all been really putting y' all input on the things we've been posting, and we want to say thank you, and it doesn't go unnoticed. And with that being said, I got to start this off with this. We put up a clip the other day, and we were just talking about, you know, how kids are being raised nowadays and, like, their contributions to society. And I think what went up on the clip kind of got misconstrued a little bit. And I had somebody come on the post, and they said, some people don't want their children experiencing slavery. [00:01:12] Speaker C: No, ain't nobody experience. [00:01:15] Speaker A: Don't even know they have. [00:01:17] Speaker B: Nobody experiences slavery right now. And so my rebuttal to that is, when we posted the clip, it wasn't about experiencing slavery. It's not about, you know, going to work for somebody. Because even as. Because people love to come with the whole, oh, I'm gonna teach my kids to be an entrepreneur. Okay, that's cool. But you still gotta have a work ethic. [00:01:36] Speaker C: You still. [00:01:37] Speaker B: There are still some basic. [00:01:38] Speaker A: For yourself. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Exactly. There are still base principles that you have to adhere to, even with your own business. So to clarify that, we was. We were not talking about just. We're talking about. We were talking about foundational things. We weren't just talking about going to work for somebody. So let's get that outta the way. Okay. With that being said, did y' all want to add anything to that? Because that kind of ticked me off when I seen that a little bit. I ain't gonna store it to you. [00:02:00] Speaker A: I mean, like you said, even if you're working for yourself, you still have to have a work ethic. You still gotta be grounded and know that grinding is not just working for somebody else. You gotta be able to grind. You gotta be able to be focused, be determined, and stay with it. And you gotta have those foundational principles of knowing how to stay focused and know that you have to have some standards. Like you said, coach coming home and still having chores and knowing that you ain't gonna get paid for it. When you have entrepreneurship, you don't get paid for the work that you put in when you first get in it. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:02:31] Speaker A: So, yeah, you still gotta have those principles, man. [00:02:34] Speaker C: You just get out what you put in. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:02:36] Speaker C: That's just the main thing. And I don't think people even realize how much work it is to be an entrepreneur. [00:02:43] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:44] Speaker C: You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's a lot. And even more so, you will have to learn from somebody. You will have to be under somebody. So I wouldn't consider it per se work, but Nobody jumps in 100% without really knowing how to have a good baseline, a good foundation of where can I start, how can I build this from where I am? So I don't think it's about experiencing slavery. It's just knowing where you are and understanding. If I got somebody who knows how to do something or has expertise that I'm trying to get into our industry, I'm trying to get into, I have to get under that person and to learn as a mentor, as a follower, or whatever the case may be. So I can, you know, what's it saying? We stand on people's shoulders like that. So that's how I equate that. [00:03:39] Speaker B: But I'm not going to and see one. And I do. Got it. Because you made a valid point. A lot of people don't know what being an entrepreneur really takes, because most people run businesses like a hobby or a side hustle. When we really getting into the thick of being an entrepreneur. If you think that working a job is hard, imagine having all the responsibility on you. [00:04:03] Speaker C: Everything depending on you. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Everything depends on you. The financial load is on you. And sometimes when you're an entrepreneur, you don't. Like you said, you don't get paid. [00:04:11] Speaker A: Yeah. The fruits of your labor. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Not right off. [00:04:12] Speaker A: You get paid for years. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:04:14] Speaker A: You don't see it. You pour into. You put more into it than what you get out of it. [00:04:18] Speaker C: Exactly, Exactly. Beautiful point. [00:04:19] Speaker D: Well, I think on the point that y' all are making about the slavery thing. So if you're teaching your kid to be an entrepreneur in whatever space that they want to be an entrepreneur in, then I think that they need to go and work within that industry so they can learn all aspects of the industry. [00:04:39] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:04:41] Speaker D: And so the work ethic, then before that starts at home. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. [00:04:46] Speaker D: You know what I'm saying? So before we could even go to get a job that you want. Okay. What do you want to do? Okay. So you want to Get a job in this. Okay, so let's do. Let me see how you handle this first. My son got a couple of jobs, Daddy, I don't know why I got to. Because I told you to. He gotta clean the bathroom. He gotta wash the dishes every night, and the trash gotta go out. That's what you gotta do. And the bed gotta be made every morning before you leave the house. You don't have a choice. If you don't, I dock your allowance. That's just it. [00:05:19] Speaker B: It's respectable. [00:05:20] Speaker D: You get an allowance, I dock your allowance. Whatever you don't do, you get docked. You come to me for. I think he wanted to. He bought. He buys his video games himself out of his allowance. He wanted me to buy him a silent basketball. Taught him a lesson. He said, I want to be able to dribble around the house. I said, okay. I said, what are you about to do with your money this week? Well, I'm about to buy 2K. I said, okay, cool. I said, but what's going to help you be a better basketball player because you want to go to college to play basketball? Well, the basketball will help. I said, okay, so then that costs $30. Why don't we buy that and then you could buy the video game later? Well, because the video game just come out. I said, so basically, playing something virtually is gonna have you in reality on the bench. So. [00:06:10] Speaker C: Don DeMarco. [00:06:11] Speaker D: So at the end of the day. At the end of the day, if I don't teach him those little lessons, now he wants to be an orthopedic surgeon with sports. So I told him he gotta put in his time at the football games with the sports trainers. So he works with the athletic trainers after school, after his workouts, he goes and helps them out. And during the football games, he goes and helps them out during the home football game. Because I'm setting them up. You want to own your own, we're going to get to our own. But you got to learn all the steps leading up. And I think this new age of thought process of parenting is. I don't want my kids to do what I did. When in all actuality, you're still standing because of what you did. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Exactly. Exactly. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Yo, that's. That's. [00:06:59] Speaker D: God. You're still standing because of what you did. You're not. It's not nothing other than that your parents instilled something in you. They made you. I could not go outside on Saturdays until I cleaned the bathroom. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Come on, man. That. That's. That's the whole that's the whole get up right there. [00:07:13] Speaker D: I couldn't go outside on Saturday. But the. But the problem is you don't care if your kids go outside, so you ain't got nothing for them to do. [00:07:20] Speaker A: Right? My son argues that all the time wondering why his brothers got a job at 15 and he just turned 18 and he just got his first job cause they cleaned their room. I'm still struggling with getting you to clean your room. You can't go get a job, but you don't take care of your chores at home. Like, you gotta be able to do both. If you can't manage your grades and your chores at home, how you gonna go work? And you can't take care of your responsibility to go do something that's not a necessity. It don't make sense. [00:07:49] Speaker C: One thing my. And to speak to you about Yousef that also small things like that build discipline. [00:07:55] Speaker A: Right? [00:07:56] Speaker C: Small things like that build discipline. But like, one thing my granddad said, and I remember this to his day, he's like, he asked us, how big is your want to? And if you want to is big enough, you're going to find a way to do it. But if it's not, you're gonna drag your feet in doing it. [00:08:11] Speaker A: There you go. [00:08:12] Speaker C: So that's something that always stuck with me. So it's not about what you say is about how you're going about doing it. Because there's a lot of things that we don't want to do, but the discipline that we were given early on allows us to push through that kind of stuff, push through the things that we don't want to do. So we'll be able to do what we want to do pretty much. [00:08:35] Speaker B: And I think, like everybody said, I think that's kind of where the disconnect is nowadays. And just thinking that you're raising kids like nobody wants to be in slavery. No, no, no. Like we always say, there's still base principles. And like how everybody has said you're gonna always have to do something that you don't want to do. You're gonna always have another task that has to be done. So at some point, like y' all said it start when you're young. Like, you got to start this. Like you said in the episode before, you were like, we always wait to the problem until it becomes a problem before we try to. [00:09:09] Speaker A: Nobody wants to get ahead of it. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Right. [00:09:11] Speaker C: Reactive instead of proactive. [00:09:12] Speaker B: Right. So to me, those are. Those are the type of things that that kind of, you know, builds up a person that builds who you are. I think most parents feel like for some reason their childhood was just so terrible that I'm going to shield my child from everything that. That. That got me to the point that I'm at now. So you coddle them so much to the point that you shield them from real responsibility, real accountability, real, you know, just real life in general. [00:09:40] Speaker D: Well, let's think about it like this, though. Q. Look at the demographic of people who have an issue with their children doing this. Those people are living lives that they don't necessarily like. So now you're starting a cycle that wasn't necessarily started because you rebelled against the way that you were raised. So now you're raising kids in an environment because you don't have work ethic, because you rebelled against the work ethic that they tried. That your parents tried to instill in you. So now you're starting a cycle for your family. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Based off your rebellion. [00:10:12] Speaker D: Based off your rebellion and what you didn't like. I didn't like my mama putting her hands on me. I didn't like my grandma putting my hands on. So I'm not going to beat my kids. You know what I'm saying? I didn't like the fact that Ms. May down the street used to tell me when to go home because it was a village raising us. So can't nobody talk to my kid. Well, that's the reason why your kid funk your classes and don't got no respect for authority. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Come on, man. [00:10:35] Speaker D: So it's. We're not those particular parents are not. I had a thing with a student one time. I said, do you like where you live right now? He said, what you mean? I said, no, your life. [00:10:46] Speaker C: Do you. [00:10:46] Speaker D: Do you enjoy watching what your parents do? What your family does? Your house? Do you love your house? Nah, man, I don't like none of it. I said, then why are you doing everything to stay? I said, you don't do your work. [00:11:02] Speaker B: Drop the bar. [00:11:03] Speaker D: I said, you're doing everything to stay where you are, even though you know you don't like it. Make it make sense. So at the end of the day, I just think we end up with people starting cycles because they dislike what they did. We what was done to them or how they feel they shouldn't have had to do. And not understanding that the vast majority of us who embraced the work ethic and embraced all of that stuff, look where you're at now. You may not be where you want to be, but you damn sure ain't [00:11:36] Speaker B: where you could be Exactly. [00:11:38] Speaker C: Factos. [00:11:40] Speaker B: Perspective. So you got something for us? What you got for us today? [00:11:46] Speaker A: This little game we're gonna play. Okay, so I give you some choices and you give me a immediate answer. All right, so choose one. Money or influence? [00:11:59] Speaker B: Influence. Influence. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Mr. Hill. To feel you gotta choose one. It's immediate choice. Be a little slow, y'. [00:12:10] Speaker C: All. [00:12:11] Speaker B: We gotta repeat it. [00:12:13] Speaker C: You know, I was gonna say something, but I'm. [00:12:15] Speaker A: Don't. Echo. Don't. E. Yes, ma'. Am. [00:12:17] Speaker C: Yes, ma'. [00:12:18] Speaker A: Am. [00:12:19] Speaker C: Influence. Influence. [00:12:20] Speaker B: For sure. Do we give a why? [00:12:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:22] Speaker B: Okay. So for me, I think if you have enough influence, the money will come. So that's my simple answer. [00:12:28] Speaker C: Same. [00:12:29] Speaker A: Okay, so we gonna do a little faster this time. [00:12:31] Speaker B: So. [00:12:31] Speaker C: So. [00:12:32] Speaker B: No. What would you pick? [00:12:33] Speaker A: I'm asking a question. [00:12:34] Speaker B: Yeah, but still, what would you pick? We wanna hear from you. Oh, really? [00:12:37] Speaker A: First of all, this ain't your show. This ain't your show. Pipe down. [00:12:40] Speaker B: That's what all that. That's what I was gonna see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your answer? [00:12:48] Speaker A: Influence. Same thing y' all said. Yeah, Listen, he tried to tie the two together. This ain't your show. Love or loyalty? I choose loyalty. [00:13:05] Speaker B: I go loyalty. [00:13:06] Speaker C: Loyalty. [00:13:07] Speaker A: I feel like they work hand in hand. [00:13:10] Speaker B: I would rather somebody be loyal if he loves me. [00:13:12] Speaker C: I feel like it should go hand in hand. [00:13:15] Speaker B: But I take loyalty because you could love somebody and still do do them, right? [00:13:20] Speaker A: So I feel like if you. Loyalty. [00:13:22] Speaker C: But is that love, though? Because it's certain things love ain't gonna do. Like, come on, now. [00:13:26] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know you being your word, but, you know, I think. What? Judas. Judas. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Love somebody and not be loyal? [00:13:35] Speaker C: That trick all I think. [00:13:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:37] Speaker A: What? [00:13:38] Speaker B: Yeah, I think you can. [00:13:39] Speaker A: You can love somebody and not be loyal. [00:13:41] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. What are we defining. I don't know. What are we defining love as? [00:13:47] Speaker C: Love is what love does, but I'm [00:13:49] Speaker A: talking about actually love, the way love is supposed to be. Can you love somebody and not be loyal? Or can you be loyal to somebody and you don't love them? [00:13:59] Speaker B: I don't think. [00:14:00] Speaker C: I think it's the latter. You can be loyal to somebody and not love them. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:14:05] Speaker C: I think we kind of put too much on loyalty sometimes. [00:14:09] Speaker B: What you mean by that? [00:14:10] Speaker C: Like, but we got people who mistreat us that we are loyal to. That's what I mean by that. So when people say so much about loyalty and it's something I'm starting to think about more as far as the love of loyalty. But it's certain things that love won't do, that loyalty will. [00:14:32] Speaker A: Right. [00:14:33] Speaker C: You know what I mean? So if I'm saying Q, if I tell you I love you, I'm not gonna put you in a position to where you have to question that. But in regards to loyalty, yeah, I can be loyal to you. But I'm like, hey, bro, I got this person that's doing da da da, da da am. I need you to come handle that. That's loyalty. But is that really love to put somebody else in a situation? [00:15:00] Speaker B: Nah. None of you mentioned like that. Yeah, I got you. I got you. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Texting or calling, I'm a caller person. [00:15:06] Speaker C: I'm a neither person. You don't Neither, neither. [00:15:11] Speaker A: You gotta pick one or the other. [00:15:13] Speaker C: I thought you was asking me. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you. [00:15:18] Speaker A: This is what I'm looking in that direction. I'm gonna look straight ahead. [00:15:21] Speaker C: I mean, if. [00:15:22] Speaker A: Because his name heel to Phil, he we gonna leave that alone. [00:15:25] Speaker C: Hey, but for real, I say call. [00:15:26] Speaker A: I think call is more close. [00:15:28] Speaker C: But you know what? If I had to choose, of course, calling. But most of all, like, I gotta be in person. I love to have that connection. [00:15:37] Speaker A: I agree with that. [00:15:37] Speaker C: Of being in person. Because you could, you know, be present with that person. You could, you know, it's just a different kind of feel. Like, we all know, like, you can watch church online, you know, you can feel away. But like, when you actually in that room, that's different. [00:15:54] Speaker B: That's different. [00:15:54] Speaker C: And I told a good friend of mine that I watched his church online from time to time. But the last time I went at the church, I was like, man, you could really feel the difference of being in the service, man. And really getting to the meat and potatoes of it. Cause oftentimes you have distractions in your house. You could be cleaning it up. You know what I'm saying? But when you have a focus that you're there and you're not worried about anything else, it's more intentional. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Okay, I got you. And so. Okay, no, so now I go calling. But like you said in person. I much rather do in person because I get a feel for it. Like, if we're having a conversation, I could get a better feel for you. [00:16:35] Speaker C: The whole scenario. [00:16:36] Speaker B: Yeah. By actually being. Cause texting. I don't like texting. Because especially not no heated exchange because that leaves a lot to the imagination. And that time in between. Yeah, it could get real good. [00:16:52] Speaker A: I just want to point out that it's a either or and y' all be choosing things that are not either. [00:16:57] Speaker B: Calling. Calling. [00:16:59] Speaker C: You know it too. Just talk about texting. [00:17:01] Speaker A: I was gonna point out it's not a woman's thing that either men can't choose one or the other. Okay. [00:17:06] Speaker B: Okay. [00:17:07] Speaker C: But go back to Texas. Like, Texas is supposed to be meant for like, little short, little information. Like, it ain't supposed to be long and drawn out. Yeah. [00:17:13] Speaker B: That's how I feel. [00:17:13] Speaker A: Peace or success? [00:17:16] Speaker B: O I choose, I'm going peace. [00:17:19] Speaker C: I. What? I don't know. [00:17:20] Speaker A: Peace passes understanding. [00:17:23] Speaker B: That's a tough one. [00:17:25] Speaker A: I mean, I feel like my success will be peace. Because sometimes, master, now you trying to. You can. You can reach a certain level of success and still not be at peace with that. So I. [00:17:37] Speaker C: Is that. Is that a. Would you consider that to be a self thing, though? [00:17:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Because, I mean, can you think. You think about certain people that Robin Williams have 15 different degrees. Like, they're trying to reach a level of success and they still not be satisfied with that. [00:17:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:52] Speaker A: You know, like, I feel like I'd rather have peace. [00:17:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:55] Speaker A: I'd rather have, you know, I'm going peace. [00:17:58] Speaker C: Yeah, peace for sure. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Old school or new school music? [00:18:01] Speaker C: Old school. [00:18:02] Speaker B: Old school, definitely. [00:18:03] Speaker A: That's self explanatory. I ain't even gotta go there. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Old school. [00:18:06] Speaker A: Private life or public recognition? [00:18:08] Speaker B: Private. [00:18:09] Speaker C: Private for sure. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Private. [00:18:11] Speaker A: Private life. Yep. So that's it. [00:18:15] Speaker B: Okay, so with that being said. [00:18:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I ain't listen, but it's, you know. [00:18:19] Speaker B: No, no, we listen to a certain. To a certain. To a certain. [00:18:21] Speaker C: If we would have just answered straight up. Oh, man, y' all just being surface level. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Y' all ain't. Y' all ain't saying. Come on, y'. [00:18:27] Speaker C: All. [00:18:27] Speaker B: I know y' all got more than that. [00:18:29] Speaker C: Okay. [00:18:29] Speaker B: You know, but. [00:18:29] Speaker C: Okay. [00:18:30] Speaker B: It is what it is. Okay, so the next order of business here. [00:18:34] Speaker A: I don't like y' all that much. [00:18:36] Speaker B: It's all good. It's all good. It be that way sometime. So I was thinking the other day, I was watching this video and this guy was kind of like this girl was going off. I'm talking about Lil Durk trial here. Y' all know Lil Durk was found not guilty of, I guess, the murder for hire stuff. [00:18:55] Speaker C: Mm. [00:18:56] Speaker B: First off, what's y' all thoughts on that? Do y' all know anything about that trial? Anything? [00:19:00] Speaker A: I don't. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Do you know anything about it? [00:19:02] Speaker C: I kind of watched it towards the end, but I haven't really, you know, put myself in it. Well, but I mean. Well, I' ma say too I did invest a lot into the cases before that. Right. The Lindsey Clancy. So I try not to be too much into stuff like that. Yeah, I have my own opinions about stuff like that. [00:19:23] Speaker B: Okay, so. And that's where I'm going with the opinion part. So everybody, basically, Lil Durk, they're saying allegedly, that he sent a hit out for Quando Rondo. But in the process of doing that, Quando Rondo cousin got killed. It was in retaliation for something that happened to one of his close people, King Von so. And you know, when he got found not guilty, you got all the celebrities talking about free him. Well, glad he about to be free. He's a good man. [00:19:48] Speaker C: Free Lil Durk. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Free Lil Durk, all that. I have a problem, and I know this is going to go against the grain. I have a problem with people like praising these artists and not holding them accountable for the damage that they're causing in our communities. It's like they get a pass for basically being a cancer in our community. Even the whole, I hate to say this word street nigga thing in the hood, niggas and all those things, that's praise. Those people are cancerous to our community. But it's like so many times we ignoring that stuff and we just like, it's being. Praising that. It's irritating me because I'm like, do y' all not see the damage that these people are doing? And it's like, yeah, it's like nothing is like, everybody's just accepting of that. Like, so it's irritating to me. Thoughts on that? [00:20:43] Speaker A: Not just with that, but I mean, that's happening in our community all the time, where you see that this guy just shot up someplace and he get killed and then his family is upset. But if it was the other way around or if he killed somebody else, child, you know what I'm saying? That cycle continues where you're mad cause your nephew got killed, but he just tried to kill somebody else child, you know what I'm saying? Or they got locked up for something and you mad because they got locked up. But if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel? You know what I'm saying? [00:21:12] Speaker D: It's funny you say that. [00:21:14] Speaker A: It's crazy. [00:21:14] Speaker D: It's real funny. I had a. My brother got locked up. He pushed a. He pushed the old. He's got mental disease, but he pushed an old lady into a ATM machine and they ended up charging him with strong arm robbery. But then she ended up with bleeding on the brain, so they tacked on attempted murder. My dad was on the side, was like my mom instantly. To my brother's defense. Well, he's mental and he's this and he's that my dad. So that caused a divide between me and my father. Cause I'm being compassionate towards my brother. My dad hears me, I'm going off on my father. Just about not being there for him and this and the third, blah, blah, blah. He says, son, after I went through my whole spill, he said, son, let me ask you one question. He was calm as hell. I done cussed him out. He said, if that was your grandmother, [00:22:01] Speaker A: how would you feel? [00:22:01] Speaker D: That got pushed into how would you feel? And he was like. And then you found out that the person knew they were sick and they weren't taking their medication, how would you feel? He's like. And that's how I'm treating your brother. [00:22:15] Speaker B: That's tough. [00:22:16] Speaker D: And I was like, makes sense not [00:22:21] Speaker A: to say that you don't care, because I'm. I'm. [00:22:24] Speaker D: Exactly. And that was the point. He was saying, I care. He said, but at the end of the day, I gotta look at it from the family's perspective. [00:22:30] Speaker A: Sometimes you just gotta be hold your grief or your feelings inside because you gotta be compassionate to the person who's actually suffering because they lost somebody too. You know what I'm saying? You can't always give your commentary on a situation that it's another side, right? It's another side. I mean, living right here in Florence. I mean, people gonna feel how they feel when the guy. I actually know his parents when the guy got killed at Oasis. Those guys are cousins. You can't be mad at one cousin cause he shot him. And then this is cousin. Can you imagine what that family went through on both sides? You know what I'm saying? But of course his parents gonna be mad because you shot my child. But that's his cousin, you know what I'm saying? Can you imagine what grandparents are going through? You know, it's. It's always like that. We just recently the guy that got shot at Purple City and then that guy got off. He's a security guard. He got off. I know those people are upset because you kill somebody's son, you kill somebody grandchildren. But they said they got open fired on those people. What's his job to do to protect, neutralize the threat. But somebody's still gonna be upset because they lost their child. But what if he had to kill somebody else child? You're gonna be upset, but you don't want to speak on stuff like that. Because. But it all stems from when you're looking at these rappers and stuff like that. Who's making it? Okay. They singing about it, and you make it look all right, especially to our children. [00:23:58] Speaker C: Mm. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Then what do we say? Because when somebody's sitting up in jail because they done shot up a club or whatever, and it's being normalized in front of our children, then of course, you're gonna see all these hashtags about Free Dirk and free this one and free that one, because it's normal to our children now. So when they. Homeboy from West Florence and North Florence and East Florence is doing it, it's normal for them to post these hashtags because that's what we're promoting to them now. [00:24:25] Speaker D: Had a former student write a poem, and it was just about the black household. She called it Flip this House. I don't know if y' all ever seen the show, but she. She talked about all the different rooms in the house, and she said. She. One line, one verse she has in it says, this living room where eyes pear out. The television said, you have no idea how intense it gets. This is where the family watches the news and spots the mug shot up. That's familiar. They're screaming, free my. Unless that mug shot is of their loved ones. Killer. Curse that, man. [00:24:54] Speaker B: Yo, that was. That was. That was. That was some heat. [00:24:58] Speaker D: Even kids see it, like, did she wrote this when she was, like, 8? [00:25:01] Speaker A: 17? Yeah. [00:25:02] Speaker D: Even kids see the stuff and they see the discord, but you can't. It's almost like they adapt to it because it's like, yo, that's my boy. That's my boy. That's my boy. But what happens when you're in the same family and one of you is on one side, one of you on the other side? [00:25:15] Speaker B: I'm seeing fans, like, split, Right? [00:25:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:19] Speaker D: Because of it. Rather than the person going on the side of the victory. [00:25:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:25] Speaker D: You know, you could support. You can have compassion without going over the edge of support. [00:25:31] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:25:32] Speaker D: You can have compassion. Like, you could be there. No need to visit them, but you can disagree with what they did. [00:25:37] Speaker B: Because I've. I've seen. Even to the point where, let's say, TJ do something to hurt people where. Hurt people where they just be like, if the person that died, like, yo, like, bro, at a certain point, I feel like we're at a stage where somebody got to condemn wrong and say that wrong is wrong. [00:25:57] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:57] Speaker B: Everybody can't just be on the side because we have a relationship. That what you do. I'm not gonna. You don't have to be accountable for. No, what you did was wrong. What you do, what you did, you have to be accountable for. So we can't have everybody turning a blind eye, like, well, because we have a relation. It just don't matter that you did that. No, we cannot do keep on doing that because this stuff is becoming cancerous to our communities. It's to the point where we can't even go certain places and really let our guard down and feel and really enjoy a moment. Because if you see somebody that look a certain way, and we know that stereotypes has always been the thing, but if you see somebody look a certain way, you ready to get your stuff and you ready to hit the door. Like, at some point in time, we got to take our communities back. To be able to send your kids outside without the fear of Lord, if I send them outside, this is going to be a shooting today. Like, come. Like, bro, it's crazy. [00:26:46] Speaker A: It's. It's so normal. Maybe a month or so ago now, I'm sure y' all heard about the little 1112 year old boy coming from the bus stop. [00:26:54] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, for sure. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Guys pulled up on him and robbed him or whatever. Is making news now, you know that that's crazy. A friend of mine, she lost her son a little over a year ago. He got shot. She went out to his grave a couple of months after he got shot, and bullet shell casings at the grave where the people that shot him wanted to come and destroy his grave. And she posted on social media, was like, he's dead. Y' all can't do no more to him. What is it gonna serve for y' all to come and do this to his grave? Like, these kids are so numb that y' all would come and do that to a grave. Like, who makes this normal? Who makes this normal for you to do this? [00:27:31] Speaker B: That's. That's really. [00:27:33] Speaker A: It's crazy. [00:27:33] Speaker B: That's out of hand, bro. [00:27:34] Speaker A: But I mean, everything is about making a post. Everything is about, you know, how many likes you can get. Stuff like this goes viral for them. Because we're. We're all about, you know, who can make the. Who can make this go famous, who can make this, you know, it's a laughable moment for them. [00:27:49] Speaker C: Yeah. And I just believe facts get lost when emotions present themselves strongly. And that's. I think that's something that we deal with just as a community, a lot of the emotional side of it because we're in touch with something Higher than ourselves. We were a little more spiritual. But the way we tap into things and the way we promote things is not always healthy. And we're so individualistic in regards to, I don't care who it affects as long as I'm good. That's, that's thinking. That's not of our own. We've always been a tribalistic community. [00:28:39] Speaker A: That's true. [00:28:40] Speaker C: We've always had our community, our tribe. But once we start to get away from those things, that's where the divide starts. And even when it comes to the, when it comes to gender colors, ethnicity, even in forms of using the N word, all those things create a divide. And we have this ego thing of always wanting to be right. Because one thing that we don't like as black people is to be embarrassed, especially, especially publicly. We fear of public embarrassment and shame. So when we present ourselves of wanting to be right in regard to what you may go through, or she may go through, what he may go through, it is going to create a bigger divide. Instead of sitting down, how we are, even if we collectively have different opinions, we're never going to be like, oh man, I ain't gonna ever talk to her again. I'm never gonna talk to him again. So we have to remove more of ourselves, our emotional side of ourselves when facts are presented. Because just like you said, man, if, if we know you did something and you know that you weren't doing things that you were supposed to to prevent certain things from happening, how could I not understand that perspective? I don't have to agree with it. [00:30:12] Speaker A: Right. [00:30:13] Speaker C: I don't have to agree with it. But it's a logical perspective. And we are so one sided and narrow minded when it comes to things like that. It's either my way or the highway. [00:30:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:22] Speaker C: And that leaves room. Well, that doesn't leave room for nuance or anything else to be in the place. So I just think we have to be a little less emotional and we have to be aware of the, the message we curate to our younger kids. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:42] Speaker C: Because like, I can't say they're numb because when they get in front of that judge, they break down, start crying. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:48] Speaker C: You can't sit and say you numb to some. They not numb. It's just not the proper consequence. They don't have a consequential thought process to be like, if I do this, this is going to happen. So that, that's. [00:31:01] Speaker B: Pause that real quick, bro, while I'm. Because you. That point that you just made, it goes back to what we Were saying in the beginning, remember about the, you know, when you younger, the. These things that you build up in the child when you're younger. So if you get away from consequences when they're young, this is how they grow up. So it all circles back. And then you said something else that was very valuable. You said, like, when it comes to the facts. And I was talking to somebody the other day and I was like, most people, if the truth or the facts goes against your personal beliefs or your personal opinion, people don't care about the truth. They want something that aligns with my opinion and something that aligns with my feelings. [00:31:40] Speaker C: That's called hive thinking. Having a hive mindset. [00:31:42] Speaker B: Okay, explain that, because I never heard it. [00:31:44] Speaker C: How mindset is pretty much, okay, you have a different thought process than a group. The group is going to villainize you. Or that because you're not thinking like everybody else. Everybody's facing forward, but you facing backwards. So like, man, I look at him. Who you think he is? Nah, man, let's get on him. Let's. Let's quote, unquote, bully him to make him feel like a reject. They're rejecting you. Society will reject you if you don't abide by the rules that's created. They want you to be obedient and complicit to their own thought process. That's a sense of control. It is being wanting someone to think how you think, say how you say it, do it how you do it. And that's probably the most damaging thing in the long run. Because like we were saying before the pod, we was walking up what might work for you and how you did things. If I do that same thing, it might not work for me, right? And I can't be mad, like, man, I done paid for this course, man. It ain't did. Well, nobody's guaranteeing that. But you still have to find another way. So if somebody else sees it and for somebody else, it might pop off, that thing might pop off. That doesn't mean it's a absolute way of doing it. People know my son don't tie his shoes the way I tie my shoes. But guess what? [00:33:09] Speaker B: They get tied, you think, nah, nah, [00:33:11] Speaker C: nah, nah, untie them shoes. [00:33:13] Speaker B: No, that ain't how you do that. [00:33:15] Speaker C: Now, Tyler, shoes. Nah, he tied shoes how he wanted. Towel and they tied. And I can't say that because what do we want in the end? [00:33:25] Speaker B: And bro, so that goes to me, that goes back to the. Listen, the one thing that my. My daddy taught me, a lot of stuff, but the one thing that I always allude to is be your own man, son. Now, we got to understand that being your own person, it comes with persecution. A lot of times it comes with, like you said, being villainized, being an outcast, being an eyeball. But we got to raise kids that's strong enough to say against all eyes. I'm going to stand up for whatever it is that I believe. Hey, for real, whatever it is, if, if the crowd is going right and I want to go left, stand strong on it. Stand strong on it. All right, my boys, y' all go ahead and it's. And for me, we're not beefing. There's no, no, no love lost. But you got to understand, like, it's okay to stand by yourself. Like, man, it's so many times we go, we go to a sports event, like a high school sport event. Every young male in the event, for the most part, not all of them, they have on the same labels, they have on the same clothes, they have on the same jury, they have the same walk, they have the same menace and stare. And I just sit up there and I'm like, yo, this is where I get on the fathers, this is where I get on the community. Where are we at to be able to teach these guys, you know, be your own person. Be your own person. You don't have to do that, right? You don't have to go that route. You can wear what you got on, I can wear what I got on, you can wear what you got on and you can still be cool. And if you're not accepted, then cool, but you still cool in your own right. You don't have to meet the status quo in order to fit in. Because if you don't fit in, maybe God ain't meant for you to fit in. Yeah, maybe God parted you to stand out. So when. So you might be taking away your own God given thing by even trying to fit in. Because God ain't meant for everybody to fit in the same box. [00:35:06] Speaker C: He. [00:35:06] Speaker B: And like, I think. I don't know which one of y' all said it, but we were talking about like the numbness stuff. We are working with the. Like, this is why people got to get back to some type of God fearing and God based too. We are working with demonic forces. If you look at the way these kids are, this stuff is not natural. This is not regular. Like the music, the stuff that they're seeing on tv, the stuff that they're seeing in their communities, this is demonic stuff. Like, and we have to we have to build a strong community around these kids because, man, we losing them too quick. I think they said homicide is the leading cause for black males, young black males, homicide. Not heart attacks. Not, not. Not car crap, car crashes, homicide. We're taking each other out. That's a problem. And I think we are going about society like this ain't something that we need to worry about because it might not be your problem today, but what happens when a shootout occurs and you and you in the vicinity, you ain't got nothing to do with anything that's going on. [00:36:12] Speaker A: I remember you said that one of the episodes said when you purchase your first gun, you never thought you would have to use it on somebody that looked like you. Like, you never think about that. That not only is it homicide being one of the most highest rates for young black men, but they're killing each other. Like, you never would have thought that when I had my sons, that they have a higher death rate of being killed by another black man than they will get in a car accident, dying on a plane or my boy's in the army. Like, you have a greater chance of being killed by somebody you went to high school with. [00:36:43] Speaker B: That's crazy. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Being shot in the army. Like, it's crazy. Like, my boys are only 22 years old and they've lost more friends in high school than they have in the army. Like, it's crazy. And they're only 22. [00:36:57] Speaker B: And you know, it's the problem because I just had this conversation with somebody in Dylan and then Atlanta. I've lost more home. And this is how, you know, it's a. It's a. It's a black community problem. And we try to act. We. We try to act like it's not. Because a lot of people don't even like to use the term black on black crime. They don't like to use that term. Okay, I don't care what you like to call it, what you want, but I'm gonna call it the truth, right? We've lost more black people that I know in my age bracket to gun violence than I've ever seen white people die in my neighborhood. I can't speak for anybody else's neighborhood when I hear about a white person dying in my neighborhood that I maybe went to school with. More than likely it's a car crash, maybe overdose, maybe suicide. And that's not. None of those things are good either. But when it comes to us, when we hear somebody in our community die, first thing that pops in our mind, whether we said or not is who killed them. Who killed them? [00:37:46] Speaker C: They didn't think about if they were sick or anything. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Come on. Like, bro, that's a problem. Absolutely right. [00:37:50] Speaker A: Y. Especially when you hear the age. Who killed them? How did. Who. Who shot him? [00:37:54] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:37:55] Speaker C: So Even with the 11 year old little kid you was talking about, like those boys was 18, 19, 20. [00:38:02] Speaker A: Yes. Like that's a baby under y', all. [00:38:04] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? [00:38:05] Speaker C: So what is it that he, that he did to make you even want to take that route? [00:38:13] Speaker A: It is, it's crazy. When I told my sons about that, it was like, well, dog, what he had on, like, [00:38:19] Speaker C: you know how fearful he's going to be for a long time for the rest of his life. [00:38:26] Speaker B: That's the psychological battle that nobody talks about. Yep. [00:38:29] Speaker C: Like understand that he's 11. He's what, like in sixth grade? Fifth. [00:38:34] Speaker B: Sixth grade. [00:38:36] Speaker C: He has to go through six more years of. I mean, I'm not saying he gonna be at a bus stop, but. [00:38:43] Speaker A: But depending on what his situation is, he might have to. If his mom doesn't have transportation, you know, she's a single parent and she got to go to work and she don't have many the means to take him back and forth to school, he may has to face that. Well, he still got to go to the bus stop. [00:38:57] Speaker C: He still probably got to go to [00:38:58] Speaker B: the bus, you know, even right now. Right. [00:39:00] Speaker C: And then even have to be at a bus stop. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Even that too, bro, like being an innocent person. I don't know the kid. I'm not saying he's. I don't know anything about that whole situation. I'm just saying once something like that happens, the psychological effect that that has on the person is something that nobody even talks about. That's something that can't be stated because anywhere you go now you're thinking like, when is. When is the shoe going to drop? Like when is, when is it going to happen? [00:39:25] Speaker C: And he's going. He's going to remove himself from community. [00:39:30] Speaker A: Right. [00:39:30] Speaker C: He's gonna remove himself from community because most likely it was somebody within his community that did that. [00:39:37] Speaker A: And not to mention when stuff like that happens to people, it's like being bullied. [00:39:41] Speaker B: When, yeah. [00:39:42] Speaker A: You are subjected to something like that, it opens a door for other people to try it. [00:39:47] Speaker C: You go, there you go. [00:39:48] Speaker A: So he not only has to worry about those people trying him again, but it opens the door for other people to say he's a target. So I would be if I was him being that young. Like not only Would they try me? But who else gonna try me? Because now I look vulnerable now. [00:40:05] Speaker B: On the flip side of that, now I gotta turn into a monster to make sure I gotta become. [00:40:10] Speaker C: I gotta become who they were, right? [00:40:12] Speaker A: It's so many different things because people are publicizing it and saying they wanna help him. Now y' all think I got something because y' all see other people trying to pour into me to replace what I lost and give more to me because they feel sorry or however you want to word it. I hate to say they feel sorry for him, but you know what I'm saying? Now you think I got more. So now people coming for me that wouldn't have came for me. It's so many different things that could happen. It's. It's crazy. [00:40:36] Speaker B: It is really layered. So kind of want to, same thing, but kind of want to. What could be a solution for this? Like what. What. What changes the narrative? What changes. What changes our narrative? [00:40:52] Speaker A: You know what this is? This is a situation only God can handle. It's so far gone. You know, it's. It's really above us at this point. Because it's not something that is just a community situation. It's a situation that has surpassed just Florence or the United States. You know, it's a pandemic thing that everybody is suffering. Not just here and not just South Carolina or North Carolina. It's like this everywhere. [00:41:20] Speaker D: Okay? Will Smith had a story. He talked about his dad broke down a wall and he said him and his brother had to build back the wall. And he said, you don't try to build the whole wall. He said, you lay each brick as perfectly as you could lay each brick. And I heard a long time ago that you. All you want to do is focus on one. If you could touch one, that one in turn will touch one or two. And out of those one or two, they'll touch one. And I think that there's no way to fix the pandemic. As Chanel said. I think that's the perfect word to use in this case. But I think that if we can reach who we can reach, that's all we can do, right? As individuals. [00:42:07] Speaker C: That's a fact. [00:42:08] Speaker D: As an individual, to be able to stand before God when it's all said and done about a problem that I noticed, and I think more people are going to have to answer for not doing anything. But I noticed a problem and I stepped up and I said, okay, let me see what I can do. You know, I had. Shoot. I've taking in kids in my own home who were doing stuff like this, who were headed down the wrong path and their parents didn't care, came to live with me. I think I had four kids at one point, plus my own kids. So I know I've done my part as a coach, as a teacher. I do my best to incorporate and instill as much as I can into each kid. Now will each kid listen? Will each kid get it? No. It's impossible to think that that's going to happen because the problem we talking about didn't start with us and it's not going to end with us. It started forever ago. Bible times. If you want to go back that far, look at everybody who's done anything. Violence has always been around. Violence against our own has always been around. That's not going to change. All we could do is change what's in our orbit. So let's just. If we focus, if everybody focuses on what's in their orbit affecting who's in their orbit, all you do is you start to create these other orbits that spin around what you've instilled into those people within your orbit. And I think that that's all you can do as a person is if you recognize, if you don't recognize a problem, if you ain't. I don't, I don't believe somebody living in Beverly Hills is noticing that this, that there's these other problems because they're not seeing it every day. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Right? They're not privy to it. [00:43:54] Speaker D: Yeah, but if we're in the community, if you're working in a school as a teacher, if you're working in a school and you don't spend no extra time with these kids, what you become a teacher for? Cuz it ain't for the check, you know, if you at the church and you don't spend extra time at the church with some of these kids, what are you doing? Right? Because that's who you need to talk to. The adults, they already gonna do what they gonna do. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Right. [00:44:20] Speaker D: And there's nothing you can do to affect their choices. But what you can do is the kids that still have these decisions to make, that have consequences, do what you can to reach them. Even if it's just picking them up and taking them to get something to eat and asking them how they week went, you'll be amazed at how many people in the house don't just ask them how did their week go. [00:44:41] Speaker A: Right? [00:44:43] Speaker B: Man, you, you, you said a mouthful there, man. And I definitely agree. You, you. It's billions of people in the world. We can't touch everybody. But you. You can bloom wherever you planted it. And that's why I look at. And I hold men to a higher standard when it comes to this. Because a lot of these young guys just need positive male influence. And people don't think influence go. Go too far. But to show you how far it goes, because they're only doing what they're doing because they were influenced. A lot of them are only influenced, but they were only influenced by people that they shouldn't have been influenced by. So as men, we have to kind of get into these communities and influence these kids. Like, like you said, a conversation, man. How was your day? Like, like, just. Just random stuff. You ain't got to preach to nobody. You ain't got to like. And I know the church folks gonna be mad with me when I say this. I ain't got to drag you to the church. I could pray for you. I could pray for you. I ain't got to pray out loud. I could pray for you. But I don't have to drag you to the church. But just being a presence to that child makes a huge difference. [00:45:47] Speaker D: Most influential people in my life. It's going to be crazy when I tell you who it was. It was this white couple, Darren and Cinder Cedarwall. She. It was a white couple that was starting a church. And they didn't start with the adults. They came to the park, and Darren Cedarwood, who could not play no basketball, would come out to the park and he played basketball. And he would just talk to all us kids, and he'll be like, hey, there's this church in Newark. Cause we was in Orange, Jersey. There's this church in Newark where you can go and they have, like. They do basketball stuff, but, you know, they also do some Bible study. Would y' all mind? Cause y' all could play on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And you do the Bible study before you play. It's a bunch of kids. We get to go to a gym, and you picking us up and taking us. We went. And eventually what ended up happening was our parents started coming to their child should leave them. Our parents started coming when they got a building. Our parents started coming to the Bible study because they didn't start with service. They just started with Bible study. And then eventually they ended up with a church that was just full of our parents and then people that our parents knew. And then it grew from there, but it started with us for them coming to the park and taking some little black boys somewhere. And then after we would play basketball and at Bible study there was food. So we get to play basketball and food, and then we go home. And then they would take us back to the hood and, you know, we would go home. But they didn't mind coming in and talking to us. Them other black, I would say the black pastors and stuff in our area, [00:47:25] Speaker B: we ain't never seen them because a lot of times those type of kids are already written off. And if everybody's going to look at them as they ain't got no hope, well, if we don't have no hope for our own people, ain't nobody else coming to save us. So stuff like that. I love to hear that. We used to have an organization in Dylan, somewhat similar thing. After the game on Friday nights, they'll let you come to the church. You do fun stuff. Then after a while, you. Next thing you know, they doing a call for a little praise and worship. But they got people around our age doing praise and worship. So, like, like, okay, I can get with this. Like, and I think sometimes with the black church, we're overly preachy. We're like, we turn people off because we get to the point where we're so judgmental. [00:48:09] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:10] Speaker B: That you can't. Even if you walk in, if you walk into church with your blue bandana on, you ain't supposed to be in here. No, come in. [00:48:17] Speaker D: Come as you are. [00:48:18] Speaker C: And a lifestyle, and a lifestyle that is preached isn't followed. That's a big part about it, too. [00:48:26] Speaker B: You speaking heat. [00:48:27] Speaker C: Now, people just believe that people are blind and people are really blind within the church. But when you step outside of the church and you talk to people outside of the church who don't necessarily have the same thought process, you as you, man, you get to see how they really see those of us, those of them that do practice religion in a certain way. So we have to be mindful of how much it means to have what we say and what we do align. Because kids are smart. Kids are smarter than what we, I'll give them credit for. And people say, well, they ain't live to do this. They don't know nothing. But, like, they watch. They're some of the best observers that you'll ever see. And you just be like, man, you saw that every. Like, yeah. And then, like, that's where the curiosity comes in at. So why, even as me growing up in church, I would see things and I would question them and be like, don't question. Don't. Don't question God. Don't question what's going on? But I'm like, if you saying this right here, but I see you doing this outside the four walls, how do you want me to follow in those same footsteps? [00:49:47] Speaker B: Right? [00:49:48] Speaker C: Like, you know how difficult that is for a kid that has some sort of consciousness about themselves or know when something's wrong? [00:49:56] Speaker B: Like, I know what y' all telling me, but I'm seeing this right here. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm seeing this. [00:49:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm seeing this. [00:50:00] Speaker C: So we have to be better equipped to practice what we preach and be an example, be present, be relatable. Just like Yusuf was talking about, man. Like that. That pastor made it relatable to or for them and gave them the opportunity to come to the church. And whether you received a message or not, that's not the point. He related to those guys, and they were comfortable enough to say, hey, man, let's go to. Even though we want to play basketball and all that, man, they stuck around. Whether it be for food or not, either way, you gotta go through all this stuff in order to get what you want. [00:50:37] Speaker D: And the thing about it was, they were genuine. [00:50:40] Speaker C: Yeah. They didn't have an outside agenda. [00:50:42] Speaker D: That was the thing. I don't think they didn't mean for our parents to come. I think they really were just genuine people who wanted to start a church, but they just met these kids who didn't have much of a direction and wasn't doing much. Now, were we the best examples of stuff? Because we did some stuff behind their back that we shouldn't be doing. But, you know, we. I learned a lot from them, took a lot from them, and then they introduced it to a lot of people. But to a lot of the points that y' all made, there's a lack of. There's a reason why I personally do not go. Go to a church now. And that reason is I just feel. I don't feel at home when I go. And my grandma told me all the time, she said, when you go to a church, you'll know. You'll know when you. When you're home, you'll just feel it. And I've come across a lot of people who say one thing, and they do. It's just really hypocritical, and I just can't deal with the hypocritical of it. So I usually. If I'm going to go to a church, I ask them, I say, hey, what time does the sermon start? What time does the preacher go on? Because I just want to come. I'll listen to the word and then I just go back home or I'll stay home and I'll watch it on YouTube. I'll just watch a sermon on YouTube because my aunt preaches down in Augusta, so I'll watch hers when she's actually preaching and just get the word, say my old prayer, meditate. I pray in the morning every day. I pray in the evening every night. So I do what I think I can under the parameters of what I feel comfortable doing. But a lot of times when you coming into these churches, like you said, it's a bunch of judgment from people. You don't got no right to judge. [00:52:22] Speaker B: You don't. You don't like. [00:52:24] Speaker D: You don't have no right to judge me about anything. Because I know you got your vices at your crib. I know at home, this person in front of me, you were drunk. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:35] Speaker C: You performing, you being performative. [00:52:36] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? And even about that, the Bible says, the apostle Paul said, I became all things so that I may win some. You can't be so religious that you turn people away like that. Even for you to even say that, that is a knock on the church. And one thing about church, you have to understand, if it happens in one or two, the whole church world gets the brunt of that. [00:53:04] Speaker D: But it's like getting cheated on, right? If you get cheated on once or twice, that's it. [00:53:10] Speaker B: Right? Everybody is a bad person. So when, when, when, when, when you're going about yourself, like, as a church person, you got to be relatable. You got to be. I'm not saying you accept every. In it. [00:53:23] Speaker C: Let. [00:53:23] Speaker B: Let God do the change and you just bring them in there. You plant the seed. Like, it's not my job to, to beat you into. To what you supposed to be. Of course, I'm a little bit more strict and I'm a little bit more stern. So like it. It'll look a little different. But wisdom is a, Is a very important thing. When you dealing with people, you dealing with these kids, you're dealing with just different people in general. You need to have the wisdom on how to deal with people, because you can't deal with everybody the same. If Yusef walks in with a blue bandana on his head, I need to have the wisdom to be able to figure youself out before I go and tell youself, hey, get out of church with that. We don't do that. No. [00:53:57] Speaker D: And that's how they'll meet you at the door. [00:53:59] Speaker B: Exactly. You got the, you got the people that want to go meet them? Okay. Hey. Hey. How you doing, brother? Did you enjoy service? That's all you got to say. Hey, man, I'm be praying for you, man. Come, come, come again. You might not think that did anything, but in his mind, he may have never experienced that before, and that could have been the changing thing that brought him back. But no, you meet him at the door with the BS that you meet him at the door with, I ain't never going back to a church again. [00:54:26] Speaker D: Remember how they said there's a saying about something from the mouth of babes? [00:54:29] Speaker B: Yep. From the map. [00:54:31] Speaker D: I coached a kid over the summer, changed my perspective on coaching completely, on something I do while I'm coaching. Right. I use a lot of profane language when I coach. I don't curse at the kids. I might curse while talking to them. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Same thing. [00:54:47] Speaker D: And I had a kid. No, no, no. I think calling the kid. I think calling the kid MFA is different than. [00:54:52] Speaker C: He's cussing at the situation. [00:54:53] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm cussing at the situation. Not necessarily cussing the kid, but I had a kid. At the end of every practice, he would shake your hand and say, jesus loves you. Before he left practice, in the group chat, he would post scriptures. He would do all this. And he came to me, he said, coach, I'm really not cool with the cursing. [00:55:16] Speaker B: A kid? [00:55:17] Speaker D: Yeah. He said, coach, I'm just really not cool with the cursing. I said, talking to him, like, okay, well, I mean, we in basketball, son. You gonna run across some coaches that just do some stuff. He's like, coach, I'm just really not cool with it. So if you can do your best to kind of, you know. And I respected him. So over coaching, I coached a kid from March until July. Over the time, first off, you know, you say a prayer. I always said a prayer, but it was the Lord's Prayer before every game. He actually would come and he would lead the prayer. Hey, coach, everybody needs to come on in before every game. AAU game. So, you know, you got two, three games a day. So we're praying before the game and after the game. And his. What he was saying was to the moment. It was to that game. Hey, you know, pray that everybody leaves with our injury. Play that we play together, play that we pray, pray that we play as teammates. And. [00:56:11] Speaker A: Well, that gave me two. [00:56:12] Speaker D: And basically these kids who. A bunch of kids who cuss and carry on. By July, nobody on the team was cussing at all. [00:56:23] Speaker A: That boy spoke over y'. [00:56:24] Speaker C: All. [00:56:24] Speaker D: I'm talking about so not on my watch, yo, listen. And so I remember it was a part. It was in May. We down. I get. So I flip back to my old self, y'. All. And I looked at him and I said, my bad. I'm sorry. [00:56:47] Speaker C: Man got convicted. [00:56:48] Speaker D: No, no, he took it. [00:56:49] Speaker B: This was game. [00:56:50] Speaker D: He took it. This was about. No, this is about 10. This is about 10 o'. Clock. I said, you know, my bad. I apologize. I think we played at 10, we played at 12. And then our last game was something at like 2 or. No, no, no. Our last game was at like 4. That's irrelevant. About 8 o', clock, a text comes into the group text that says, just because you say you're sorry doesn't make it right. And I was like this little such and such. [00:57:19] Speaker B: Like, yeah, yeah. [00:57:21] Speaker D: So me and my assistant coach, Jared, we look at each other and we like, all right. So then I took that back to the school because one of our major issues with my high school program is the kids in cussing. And so when I met with my staff in June, I said, yo, we're not cursing. I said, so one of the guys was like, man, coach, man, this is what I do. One of the coaches. And I said, you'll be amazed at what you could do if you're held accountable to doing it. I said, because I was held accountable to not cursing by a kid, and nobody on this team cursed. And so my assistant coach, who's also with me at the high school, he said, yeah, he was like, this one kid got the whole entire team to not curse by the time July hit. He didn't come to the first game in July. We didn't pray, of course, because he wasn't there. We lost. So he came on Saturday, took his anointed wig. [00:58:17] Speaker A: Now look at him. [00:58:17] Speaker B: So he came on Saturday. [00:58:21] Speaker A: He came on Saturday. [00:58:22] Speaker D: And he came on Saturday. And the kids. The kids said, hey, come on, Jakari, let's pray. [00:58:29] Speaker C: We need that. [00:58:31] Speaker D: I was like, we need that. I was like, all right, let's. Let's go. But the kid just didn't allow you. He made you feel uncomfortable with doing wrong. And he was so loud with it. He gave everybody a little bracelet that said, jesus loves you. These little bracelets that he give out to people when he meet him. And he's just that staunch in his faith. And I think a somebody who. Somebody like that can change lives because he's living his life that way. He's not fake about it. He's going to hold you accountable to it and everything Else. And I think that if more people, adults would live more the way they want. They're either telling other people to live. If they actually walked that walk and held people accountable around them and held themselves accountable for their actions, I think you're more likely to get more people to adhere to what you want them to do. [00:59:26] Speaker B: You want to know what's crazy, bro? God used that little dude in such a way that that made me really sit up here while you explain this whole thing. Like, yo, what does my intentionality look like? The dude don't even know me. And what you just told me really touched my spirit to the point of like, yo, if that little dude is doing that, there is no excuse as to why I can't get myself better. [00:59:51] Speaker D: I told you, I told my coaching staff this is what we're going to do. They couldn't do it. They text me because I can't be at nothing right now. They text me, hey, coach, man, these kids, they cussing is too bad. We need to not curse. You were right. [01:00:05] Speaker A: So they started back cursing saying you and Jakari left. [01:00:08] Speaker D: Well, no Jakari, he was on a whole nother. [01:00:11] Speaker A: Oh, he sound like y' all need Jakarin. [01:00:15] Speaker D: It's funny, I didn't say his name, but you knew who he was. Was. [01:00:18] Speaker A: You did say his name. [01:00:19] Speaker D: I said. I don't think I said, [01:00:22] Speaker A: but I [01:00:23] Speaker B: ain't got [01:00:25] Speaker D: if I did. I didn't mean to say his name. I didn't mean to say his name if I did. But I give him a shout out. Jakari is an amazing. [01:00:33] Speaker A: I asked, you want him to come on the show cuz he can lay hands on us. And then Q going to start praying for podcast. It. It make some bracelets. [01:00:41] Speaker D: It made me go. It made me look at myself. It just made me look at myself and my actions and what I was doing and how I can't ask the kids not to do something if I'm not doing it. [01:00:52] Speaker B: Talk about it. [01:00:53] Speaker D: And so I told to my coaches right now, there's a rule that if a coach curses, he got to do 25 pushups. If a kid curses, he gotta do two suicides, right? [01:01:03] Speaker B: So. And I look in that moment, a [01:01:05] Speaker D: kid can make you do it. [01:01:07] Speaker B: I look at a situation like that. So it to the problem that we're facing, the pandemic that we're facing, we should start being more accountable to the people that we serve. Because if a mantle is on you, we're in servitude to the youth that we serve. We gotta be More accountable, more intentional. Because intentionality is a big thing. Like, when I'm walking and when I'm doing something, be intentional about it. What are you trying to convey to these people when they see you, when you're posting, when you're. When you're going about the things that. Nope. That you think nobody's paying attention to? Because, like we've already alluded to, kids pay attention to everything. If a young guy like that can have that much influence on adults, on his teammates, what could we do with our influence if we were more intentional about what it is that we were doing? So, like, I. Even. Even after this episode today, I'm gonna start being more mindful of my intentionality when I'm dealing with people, because I heard a preacher say one time, yeah, you call yourself this, you call yourself that, but who in hell are you? Like, who are you at the job? Who are you in the community? Who are you when you think nobody's watching? Like, who are you? So that's a. That's a real question that we must ask ourselves. [01:02:21] Speaker C: Who are. [01:02:22] Speaker B: Who are we? Like, so that. That's. Man, that was gold with the little. What the little dude did, and he touched me, and I ain't never met him. [01:02:29] Speaker C: I used to. I got a question. How. How did that impact winning in regards to him just being there and holding every influential. Is that in winning? [01:02:43] Speaker D: I think what it did was it instilled a level of consciousness to what you do, because I think sometimes we do things without being conscious of what we're doing, and so it gives us. Cause. You go, oh, man, I didn't mean to do that. But what it did was it made you hold yourself accountable with just the way you speak. So now guess what? If we're not. If the kids ain't cursing at each other on the court, there's a lot. They're speaking to each other with respect. It's a different energy. And then, not only that, the kid played hard as crap. So his. The way he played was infectious as well. You know, wasn't extremely skilled, but the way he played was infectious as well. And then the respect, the kids that grew for him over the time of the kids. Cause, you know, AAU team, it's kids from all over. This kid's from all over the place. You know what I'm saying? And he was the only member from his school on that team, so nobody knew him. So nobody knew him. So for him. And what was impressive to me, and I think what made it. The effect so profound, nobody Knew this dude and he was so comfortable in himself and so comfortable in his faith that he would just. He knew whether he changed anybody or not, he was not going to change who he was and people around him was going to respect who he was and what he believed in. Because if for nothing else, he said, you're. He said, coach, I would just appreciate it if it didn't happen around me. And that's. I gotta respect you if you come to me and tell me that. Because there's a lot of kids who go to church every Sunday who are churchgoing and would want to say something, who don't feel comfortable enough in their own skin to even bring up that or say anything to anyone they would more likely conform to. To be comfortable, like you said. I think I talked about it earlier. Conforming to feel comfortable. You know what I'm saying? And rather than being the outcast and then seeing if somebody will follow you, rather than you being a follower, lead, which is what we were looking for on a team. On every team. I've been. I've always want the kids. Because if the kid. If the coaches got a lead, we're done. If the kids are leading. So that's how it impacted winning. He led the group and eventually they got to know him. Chemistry built and the negative speak amongst themselves went away. Because you couldn't curse and you can't get mad at him. Cause every time he do something wrong, he gonna tell you, my fault. Won't happen again. I got you. He be the first one to hold himself accountable. [01:05:33] Speaker B: It's so crazy though, man. It feels like people like him, like younger kids like him. You know how we say, like they say in the NBA, like generational talent, Those are like generational kids. Like, kids like that don't come that often, yo. Like, like the whole package of being able to take accountability that early, early to be leader. I know they're not men, but to be leaders of men that early, to be able to stand up on your own two feet that early, if the room don't conform to you, if you don't conform to the room, then the room conforms to you. So for him to have that, that early, man, that's. That's like. That's what we would say about a wim beyond, but like generational talent, man. So shout out to. To him and his parents, man, that's [01:06:15] Speaker C: gonna grow the older he gets. [01:06:16] Speaker B: It's gonna grow, bro. And if, and if he, if he, if he stay on this course, there is no telling what, what, what what is gonna be attached to him? Because something important that we were talking about the other day. What is your lineage? And most people. I'm not talking about what. What your kids, because that's part of your lineage, but what's attached to you? Like, who lives? Have you changed? [01:06:41] Speaker C: Who have you. [01:06:42] Speaker B: What impact have you actually had? And that's something that I really. That's why I cried on my birthday. Because to hear all the stuff that people were telling me on my birthday, like, just what I've done for them in their life, like, that junk just made me really, like, easy, emotional, because I. That's something that I'm really intentional about. What is my lineage? When it's all said and done, when I'm laying across the church, what would it be said? How did I help people? How did I. Who did I bring out of darkness? Who. Who did my light help brighten their day? Like, so that stuff is very important to me. So that's something that I'm mindful of. Like, my lineage. Like, that's something that's really been heavy on me. So when I'm out doing whatever I'm doing, even when we doing the podcast, I always pray before a podcast. Like, I hope something is said that not that we get famous, not that we start making millions of dollars off this, but something that we say from anybody that's a part of this thing changes your life, changes something inside of you, sparks something inside of you, lets you see something from a different perspective. And if we can do that, that means we're blossoming where. Where God put us. We might not reach a million people, but if we could change one person that's watching or listening, bro. I got to be. Be content with that, man. [01:07:51] Speaker D: Yeah, he put. These are two texts he put in the group. And I'll stop with as far as him, Nobody's perfect. But that isn't an excuse to sin. That's why Jesus died. And offers forgiveness and offers change. But we have to take the first step. So that was one thing, and that was after I had cussed. So he took a shot at me, and then the next one was, good work, Good work, y' all boys. Give Jesus all of the glory and praise for allowing us to get here safely and play and win. I love y' all boys. And get home safe. This is stuff. [01:08:23] Speaker B: He. How old is he? [01:08:25] Speaker D: 16. [01:08:26] Speaker A: How old is he now? [01:08:27] Speaker D: That was this year. [01:08:28] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:08:29] Speaker B: And he seems. [01:08:30] Speaker A: He's a junior. Next five years, he gonna be somebody pastor. [01:08:34] Speaker B: That's definitely. [01:08:34] Speaker D: But he turned 17 during the season, he turned 17 at that age bracket, [01:08:38] Speaker B: with all the stuff that they have going. That's amazing. Yeah, 16 is amazing. [01:08:44] Speaker D: And he would repeatedly just do stuff like that in. In the team chat. And you know what will happen? At first, the kids wouldn't heart it, because I think people didn't know how to respond. And then what would happen is all of a sudden, as soon as he would do it, it's like, 10 kids on the team, you. The hearts would come in hard because [01:09:02] Speaker B: at first, you look like a goofy. You look crazy doing that. [01:09:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:05] Speaker B: But will you, like, will you stand on your calls if it causes you to look crazy? If it causes people to look at you funny? If it causes people to shun you, do you stand on your calls like. And for him to be 16, standing on his calls like that, man, shout out to him. [01:09:20] Speaker D: Yeah, it was great. Great kid that it changed. Changed me in a sense of how I speak when I'm coaching. It definitely did 100. [01:09:31] Speaker B: Most definitely. So, listen, it's about time to wrap it up. We appreciate all the viewers, all the people that comment, everybody that is a part of this, the whole team. We're gonna let Ms. Chanel send us out of here. What you got to tell the people? What you got for the people? We know you got something now. [01:09:48] Speaker A: I'm Chanel. That's what I got for you. [01:09:51] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You got some advice or something now? [01:09:54] Speaker A: Oh, okay. My advice for today is I'm gonna pick it back off. What Q said last. Be more intentional. Be accountable, especially in front of your children and in front of any youth that you may be influencing. Be intentional. Be accountable. That's. That's a must that we do nowadays. Take time to influence somebody in a positive way. Lend a helping hand, and that's all I got for you. [01:10:22] Speaker B: That's good to know. Next time, appreciate it and thank you. Heal to Phil. Appreciate you. My guy. [01:10:26] Speaker C: You already know my guy. Sa.