Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: I would.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. You already know what it is. This is your host, B.
[00:00:17] Speaker C: And I'm Q the Don.
So today, this episode is gonna be real. It's gonna be a little bit heavy, but it's gonna be full of strength, and it's gonna show survival and healing. And we're sitting down with a woman who's been through.
She been through a lot, and she still, you know, she's overcame that. So we happy to have our guest, Ms. B, with us today.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Hey.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Hey, before we get into everything, man, I want to throw some statistics out here. Cause, you know, I'm a statistic type of person, so. Domestic violence is widespread, where approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience physical violence.
About 12 million Americans are victims of rape. Physical violence are stalking, resulting in significant numbers of injuries and death, particularly in women.
And so we have our guest today. Want to share some of her stories, and we just gonna get into it.
[00:01:09] Speaker C: All right, so first, just starting out, like, before, things, like, kind of got bad, like, how. What drew you to this person? Like, what. What drew you to him?
[00:01:20] Speaker A: I was in high school.
I met him. He was four years older than me, so he was out of high school.
And, you know, when you're young, you think the older man is. Is the it.
[00:01:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most definitely.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: So that's kind of what brought us together.
Me dating an older guy.
[00:01:39] Speaker C: You know what's crazy with that? Like, I hear a lot of women say, like, that older guy thing, like, where it kind of draws them a little bit.
So, like, when you were dealing with them, like, what were the red flags? Did you see any red flags? Like, at what point did you know, like, something wasn't kind of, like, right at first?
[00:01:57] Speaker A: There were no red flags.
We were good. We got along good.
He did anything, everything for me. And I'm gonna say that might have been the problem, too, letting him do everything for me. I remember one incident.
I caught him cheating after some years together. And I asked him, I was like, why are you cheating on me? And he was like, as long as I take care of you, I can do what I want to do.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's tough, man.
A lot of times with. I guess before, cuz you.
[00:02:32] Speaker C: You.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: You mentioned something about y' all was good in the beginning, and things kind of went kind of sideways when you realized that he had all the power, like he was giving you everything.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: And I know normally that's how it kind of be. That's one of the. I. I ain't Gonna say it's one of the first signs. But sometimes that be some of the first signs is the level of control, taking away everything, making sure you. You dependent on me. That's how you felt like you was more dependent on him?
[00:03:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I. I actually was. I wasn't working. I was a mom. I had just had a baby. So basically, he was the breadwinner in relationship. So, yeah. So at that point, you know, I kind of.
I was hurt, but I fell back, like, okay, maybe he won't do it again. This and that. But the first incident towards when he started hitting on me, I was at a club, me and my best friend, and we were out partying, having a good time, and I didn't know he was in the club. And I was in the club dancing, and I just felt the top of my hair being pulled off the floor. So not knowing who's behind me. You thinking it's a female with beef. And I turn around, and it's him.
So that was one strike.
[00:03:44] Speaker B: Why you think he did that?
You don't mind me asking?
[00:03:48] Speaker A: Control.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Control. The level. Control.
[00:03:49] Speaker A: Yeah, control.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: And once you. He was. So he was out there.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: He was out there at the club. We were both in the club. I didn't know he was in there.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: Oh, so I was great as y' all went together.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: No, I didn't know he was in there. So he dragged me out.
He didn't actually put his hands on me, but he put his hands on me, like, by pulling my hat. I just put my hands on me.
[00:04:08] Speaker C: Right, right.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: So that was the first sign. So we got home and we argued, and, you know, you make up and you forget about it. You're like, okay, he just jealous. This and that, this and that.
Which, granted, that shouldn't have been my first instinct. I shouldn't have been like, oh, he's jealous. That should have been my first red flag.
Months down the line go by, we get into an argument, he hawk spits in my face.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Dang.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: That's the second incident.
And I'm still being crazy, like, oh, he just don't want me to go out. My friends, he. He want me to be home with him. This and that. Not thinking at this time. I'm young, y'. All. I'm 19. Not thinking like, oh, God, this is really abuse. Not. Not. It wasn't.
It was physically, but he wasn't mentally, you know.
[00:04:54] Speaker C: Right, right.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: Abusing me. But I'm like, okay, this is. This is something else. Knowing I wasn't raised like that, and I should have Left at that point. Because for you to spit in somebody's face, that's the most disgusting thing that.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: The most disrespectful thing. And slapping. Yeah, slapping and spitting is one of the most disrespectful.
[00:05:15] Speaker C: And also, too, I want to say this before we go.
If you're dealing with this and you've been through this, offer yourself grace. Because a lot of things you don't know until, you know, Hindsight is always 2020, like, oh, we should have.
And I'm not just saying this for you. I'm just saying this for anybody that may be listening. You know, a lot of times we don't give ourselves grace.
We think that is one thing, but it's something else. And then Hindsight is always 2020. And just for the listeners, you know, also, when you see these red flags, when you hear the story, don't just like, oh, this story is. No. If you see these red flags, like, one control.
Nobody should want to control you to the fact of, like, everything got to run through them.
And I think a lot of times we have in our mind, like, somewhat in this generation, like, toxic love is the thing like this. Like, that's just how it's supposed to be. So we want y' all to draw from this. This is not just something that we just doing, like, really draw from this. That toxic love, it ain't gotta be like that. It ain't like somebody wanting to control you 24 7.
That's not what it's meant to be. That's not how it's meant to be.
[00:06:21] Speaker B: What you think the cause? Growing up, I just thought that.
Cause I was involved in abusive relationship.
And a lot of times it ain't really popular that men speak on stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? But in my mind, just speaking on a little bit about me, I felt like this individual that loved me, you know what I'm saying? Just because of the level of aggression, and I actually kind of like it. You know what I'm saying? So just speaking on that a little bit, how you feel about it, Let.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Me stop you and say this to the ones listening. Love doesn't hurt. And I' ma say that love don't hurt.
[00:06:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a bar. Yeah, that.
[00:07:02] Speaker C: Yeah, that's amazing.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: That's a bar. Love don't hurt in both aspects, physical and emotional.
[00:07:09] Speaker C: Right. Because that's. That's also another major factor in it, too. Emotional, like in the mental. Like, if somebody could get you in a mental prison or they could get you to think away. Like, of course that's control, but like that mental prison, that mental beat down is also a thing too. Like, so don't just think it's. Well, he never hit me because normally it doesn't start with a hit. It doesn't start with a. It starts with, let me go ahead and sit the mind right. If I can get the mindset right, by the time I actually show my full capacity of what I'm capable of, I'm already willed. Yeah.
That person is already reeled in. So with that being said, like, do you think, like, let me say. I don't wanna say. I don't wanna use scared as a word because you've already said that you.
You thought it was maybe like a one off thing.
Did you think like the mental. Did he play like a mental game with you at first or do you like, how do you think the buildup was to like the physicality?
[00:08:05] Speaker A: I would say no, it was just like I told y' all before, it was just like, oh, he. I'm thinking he.
He just jealous, but let me jump down. Years later, we had been together maybe at this point, I was probably 22, I had two kids. Bomb.
So the first time that I knew that my life was turning.
Turning flips. My mom had died. It was the day after her funeral.
And that's what cell phones came out. That's how old I am. But cell phones first came out and it was the flip phones. And he had one, I had one. So I missed him pick his phone up by mistake. And I was outside. And when I realized I was. I had his phone, I was going through it. So I'm seeing all the messages from him and the females. So when I turn around to go confront him, not knowing he's behind me, he just punches me in my face.
So I'm like, oh, God. So like tweety birds see stars and stuff. That's what I felt like I saw. I was like, oh, my God. So when he did it and I went back in the house, we were arguing. So he. He grabbed his phone and he pushes me down on the bed. Y' all may think I'm kidding.
My mom had. We had just had her funeral. The clock flew off the wall and something in my head clicked and said, time for you to go. It's time for you to go. So I called his mom and I was like, hey, we just got into it. He punched me in my face. My nose is bleeding. This and that, this and that. And I'm not that Kind of mom. But you have some moms, they always gonna take up for their sons.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: They definitely.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: Because the first thing his mom said to me was, what did you do?
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:51] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:09:51] Speaker A: To make him act like that. And I'm looking like, you're a woman, and you gonna ask me what I did to make him act like that?
So I called my best friend. She took me to Carolina Hospital.
At this point, it was in October. So the nurse came in, she said, hey, what happened to you? I didn't want to tell her what happened. I was like, yeah, I was playing with my baby, and he took his toy and missing. Hit me in the face. The nurse said, no, ma'. Am. She said, that's not a hit in the face from a baby. She said, it's domestic violence month.
You want to talk to somebody? I said, no. She said, well, I'm gonna have to call the police in here because your nose is broken. And I'm at. So the police came in. They asked what happened. I still wouldn't tell them.
I was still hiding it. My best friend knew what happened, but she wasn't telling. So I left the hospital. Maybe four or five hours later, he calls me and he says, what they say? I said, I got a broke nose.
He apologizes and this and that. You know, we all go for it. Oh, I won't never do it again. I'm sorry. This and that.
All right.
I accepted it. Went back. Going on. Months went by.
We had done find us an apartment together.
We living together. This and that. I moved across from some family members.
So every day, my family members were coming to my house. You know, what you got over here? What you doing over here? Let me get this. And that isn't that. So this one day, he said, I'm not letting them back in. When they come in. I was like, that's my cousin. How you not gonna let her back in when she comes in? And he was like, they just want to come over here and eat. And this and that isn't. I said, well, we eat from over there. So what's the problem with them eating over here? So I was frying. Get ready to fry some fish. So the grease was hot, y'. All. And it was knowing. Grease get hot on the stove, you hear it sizzling.
So he. He said, if you open that door, I'm gonna throw this hot grease on you. At that moment, I said, he just. He just talking. He ain't gonna do that. When he went to pick up the grease for me to open the door, and he Tried to throw it. I shut the door back fast. This was the first time I ever called the police. I had to call the police. I was like, you know what?
I can't do this.
[00:12:10] Speaker C: So wait, hold on.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: Hold up.
[00:12:11] Speaker C: So wait a minute.
You're saying, like, he actually picked up.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: That he actually picked up the pot.
He had admits on his hand and actually got ready to throw the grease. But I shut the door so fast that it. The grease hit the door. It didn't hit me. It hit the door. So I had my phone. I just called the police.
Couple of officers came out. They arrested him. I called his mom and let her know what was going on. And her remark was, I'm so sick of y'. All. Y' all need to separate. I said, you're right. We do.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: So he took it serious.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: No, she never took it serious. So he spent maybe four months in jail.
So after that, he got released.
I think I was healing. I was. I was trying to heal when he got released. Granted, you know, we had two kids together. He was still coming around to see his kids when he got released. But I was at a point where I like freedom. Like, this is kind of cool. I like freedom.
He was like, I'm gonna do right.
I'm gonna go talk to somebody. This and that.
I want my family back. I want my family back.
[00:13:19] Speaker C: That's the number one line right there.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Let them use their line. They want their family back. It's a bunch of bull.
So me being gullible, okay, I got two kids by this man. We gonna raise our kids together.
Months go by. He don't do nothing. We closest ever. We like best friends now. We just close. I'm like, okay, he might have change the next year, I got pregnant. Didn't know I was pregnant.
He was just. By this time, he stopped being physically abusive, and he stopped being verbally abusive. So I was like, you know what? I can't even take this no more. I'm. I'm leaving. I'm just. You got to get out my house now. Because it was my house. You got to get out my house now. So you go back and live with your parents, and I'm gonna raise my kids not knowing I was pregnant with third. I'm gonna raise my kids. So. So I was. I was feeling good. Like, I'm free. I'm about to start dating again. This and that, this and that. Well, this particular incident, he found out I was dating this guy.
So I don't know how he got in my kitchen window. My apartment was Upstairs, the bedrooms were upstairs, the living room was downstairs. I don't know how he got in my house that night, but he had for a couple of, I found out for a couple of days he had been coming through the kitchen window in my kitchen closet, just sitting there listening of what I had going on in my house.
So I'm like, I'm not knowing this to everything happened later. So I'm like, okay, I'm living, I'm, I'm going out, I'm enjoying myself. So this one particular night I came home from the club and it was probably like 4 or 5 o' clock in the morning.
I was sleep, My grandma called me back then I had the house phone. So I'm like, my grandma called me and she keeps calling me and I'm hanging up, keep messing the button like I don't, I don't feel like talking. Grandma, I know you want me to do something for you this morning. So something just say, answer the phone.
It was about 6, maybe 6, 20 something in the morning. I finally answered, I said, hello. My grandma said, get up. Such and such say they on the way to come kill you. I was like, grandma, I ain't thinking about that. I ain't want to hear that. Soon as I said it, I heard the gun cop.
So I'm like oh my God.
So I just hang up the phone on my grandma.
My 2 year old is in the bed and my 4 year old, he's in his bedroom. So I remember him telling me to get up.
I had on a T shirt at the time. I said, only thing I kept saying was as he had a gun in my head, I just kept saying, don't love me to death. I kept telling him, don't love me to death. So with all the commotion going on, he woke my kids up.
I had had my two year old by the hand and my four year old came out his room. He led us downstairs to the living room and he was just holding the gun. He was like, I'm gonna kill you today, I'm gonna kill you today. And I just kept saying, please don't love me to death.
Well, I don't know if it was something he had or he was maybe drunk or something, but he ended up laying the gun down and nodding backwards. I picked my 2 year old up on my hip and I told my 4 year old to be quiet. I gave him a shh and I crept the door open and I just ran.
I was running so fast. I ran to every like two or three neighbor houses. Nobody Would open the door when my nephew grandma stayed around the corner. I ran so fast in a pink T shirt, y'.
[00:16:29] Speaker B: All.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: That's all I had on was pink T shirt and my kids on my hip. I ran to her house and she had her front door open and I just ran through it and she started screaming. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, what's going on? So I told her.
So she said, oh my God. So she called the police. By this time, I called my dad, my cousins and my grandma. She was coming out the house cause she had to come see what was going on. Cause she knew I just hung up the phone.
When I say the whole SWAT team came, the whole SWAT team came.
They came and they interviewed me. They was like, okay, we about to. The chief of police said, I'm about to take you back around here. I want you to identify the suspect. I said, okay. So he put me back in the patrol car. We went around there and they did a sweep through my house and they said nobody's in there. So they said he left out the back door. They could.
So my nephew grandma called my phone and she said, what is he driving? I told him, she said, he just passed here. She say so. So they sent the squad cars to go look for him.
They interviewed my 4 year old. The chief police told me, he said, ma', am, I've interviewed a lot of kids, but this four year old was one of the smartest kids I ever interviewed. He said, he told me word from word what happened.
So four months go by, he's moved on. They got a warrant for his arrest, he's dating some new girl.
[00:17:49] Speaker C: Is he trying to contact you at this point or.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Oh yeah, he was trying to contact to see his kids, but he knew he couldn't come around because they had the one looking for him. I mean, they hadn't been his mom house several times. They hadn't been to his job. They just kept missing him. So they kept in touch with me and they was like, we gonna get them. The chief police stayed in contact me. He's like, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get. He said, and the reason I'm gonna get them for your safety. He said, but it was something about your four year old state statement that really touched me. So I got to get them for him.
So months go by.
He's relocated to another county.
They still didn't get him. A year later he was going through a roadblock and they ran his license and they got him then.
So his mom called me, she said, hey, such and such is arrested, this and that. They said, if you sign an affidavit, they'll release him as long as he has no contact with you, this and that. So it took me about a couple of days. And she just kept calling. Can you sign the affidavit? He has the work, this and that. You already got him on child support, so he has to take care of his kids somewhere. Granted, it wasn't about the kids. It was about.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: She his mama. She. Yeah. So I.
I end up signing the affidavit and I never looked back. I never looked back.
I found out I was pregnant and I had to tell them. Well, I, you know, I hadn't had a baby, but my baby never interacted with him.
They never got the whole chance to keep my baby. They never got a chance to be around my baby till maybe he was about 4 or 5. And that's when he married another female. And she started coming around. And I remember telling her, though, when she was dating him, I said, he's gonna do the same thing to you. She said, oh, no, he's not. I got brothers. And I said, baby, I got brothers, too. She said, he'll never do that to me.
Yeah, okay. I'm gonna leave it at it. Okay.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Wow, man.
[00:19:45] Speaker C: Man, that's.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: Let's go back to the mother, though. Cause it seemed like the mother was.
She knew so many things was going on, man.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: She knew it because she experienced the same thing. And with her husband. And she's still with her husband. They've been together, I know, over 40 years now, but.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: Wow.
So that was his daddy.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: Yeah, that's his dad.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: So he kind of grew up in that environment.
[00:20:10] Speaker A: He kind of grew up seeing it. Yep, exactly, man.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: A lot of. Man, listen, a lot of times, some of this stuff, it be habitual, man. Things that is the environment people be in, kids be in, and they see that, you know what I'm saying?
And it's good that you took a stance, you know what I'm saying, to that. Because potentially your kids would have been kind of seen that same environment kind of growing up too, as well, man. And like, for some odd reason, I don't know, man, some people, the mothers, for some odd reason, they rationalize with it and they figured, it's okay, that's okay. And that's exactly what she did with him.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Yeah, she is.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? She just thought, like, when men do stuff like this, they get upset, they get frustrated, they wanna put Their hands on you. You know what I'm saying?
[00:20:59] Speaker C: And it' of, like, feeling like the look, like toxic love is. Is a great thing, man. If you. If you involved with anybody that, you know, for real. For real going through this, even if they won't speak up for themselves, even if they won't do it for themselves, don't. Don't be afraid to speak up for them or really, like, try to get them out of that dark place, because, like. Like, we're talking about the mother now.
She. She probably grew some type of syndrome to. To think that that was okay because that. That was her livelihood. That's what she dealt with. So.
And I'm not immune to it. Yeah. And I'm not forgiving her for that. I'm not, you know, of course. But, man, when you grew up with something and you grow and you think that's like, that's just normal life. That's just what love is.
It's not okay.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: It's not okay. Like I told. I was telling myself, you know, oh, he love me. He jealous. That's that love. Like I said, love don't hurt. Love don't hit you. Love don't fight you. Love don't disrespect you. Love is love.
[00:21:56] Speaker B: So love don't cheat.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: Yeah, love don't cheat.
[00:22:01] Speaker C: So, like, man, and then, like, okay, narcissism, we got to hit on that, too, because a lot of people have narcissistic tendencies, and that's men and women. And a lot of times it goes under the radar, and a lot of people don't really call it out. But when you start seeing some of these tendencies, some of these red flags, man, you really got to stand on that light. And if the best thing that you could do is notice this stuff before it gets out of hand, and don't just notice it and stay there, but don't be afraid to make that move. Don't, like, don't just get so complacent with it and just be like, nah, that'll go away. That's just. No, no, no. Because it's a snowball thing, and, like, you hear it doesn't just go away.
I watched this show. I forgot the name of it, but at the beginning of it, it's talking about murders, and they say there's. There have always been signs. And then they just go during the show, they going over the red flags that people see. And a lot of times it's your human nature to be like, it's just human nature. It's not you're wrong or you're right. It's your human nature to say you want to see the good in people. Like, okay, we do have good times. And that's what happens a lot of times. We do have good times. Every time with this person is not a bad moment. So we kind of lean toward that a little bit more. Like even in times where we should leave and all of that.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: But yeah, and. And I' ma say abuse is abuse, whether it's mental, physical or verbally. Abuse is abuse. If he love you, he's not calling you out your name. You're not a B. You not a. Because I remember mine telling me, oh, nobody wants you with three kids.
Nobody's gonna want you with three kids. That's a lie. I've been married now for going on 13 years, happily married.
[00:23:42] Speaker C: So, okay, talk your tower 13 years.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: And nobody. He told me, I remember. Nobody's gonna want you with three kids. That's a lie.
[00:23:50] Speaker C: Exactly like.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: And you know, I was doing some, I guess looking at some statistics and stuff like that. Everything that you just said this evening, man, like power and control, jealousy, insulting, demeaning, shaming, intimidating, like destroying properties of yours. All of these things are signs of a person that can potentially or become, you know what I'm saying, a person that being an abuser, you know what I'm saying? And so these are. Those really is, man. There's certain signs to look for when you kind of, you know, you dating the beginning stage. And I always say, like you said, I don't be one thing. I feel like you shouldn't make excuses for people, you know what I'm saying?
[00:24:41] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: And you shouldn't never make excuses to demean yourself, to put yourself on the back burner, you know what I'm saying? To please somebody else. And I understand, to protect their image. Yeah, protect their image too as well. And I know a lot of times some people who being involved because I work with certain people and stuff like that, and they have been involved under the same thing too. Domestic violence. And most of them, majority of them make excuses. And also, you know, they equate that with love, you know what I'm saying? This person loved them, you know what I'm saying? And I can understand that because most of us didn't have a good image, you know what I'm saying? Of what love look like, you know what I'm saying? What it feel like.
And that right there, you know what I'm saying? Somebody showing that amount of love, they jealous of, you know What I'm saying, they jealous of me. Sometimes that can't equate to love in some people. Some people, cases, you know what I'm saying? I was involved in that.
[00:25:38] Speaker C: Even when it does equate to love, we have to understand, like, there's a thin line between that, that.
That jealousy. Because I don't want nobody else to have what I have, like, that type of thing. Like the normal.
Because everybody has a streak. I'm not gonna say. I don't know the other word for jealousy in this case, but for lack of a better word, jealousy, like, because you don't want nobody playing in your face either. But there's this controlling jealousy that everything, like. Like she said about the cousins, that's family.
You want to pull me away from my family. Like, that's never normal.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: Isolating. Yeah.
[00:26:14] Speaker C: Isolation. That's not normal.
And like, we keep on saying, this is all for somebody to heal, somebody to be free from your situation. Don't. This stuff that goes on that we think is normal. She's telling y' all now, this ain't normal behavior. This ain't normal stuff. This is a lady who's been through this stuff. So, like, please listen like that, and we implore you to listen.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: When you see the first red flag, go ahead and get out, for it's too late. That's what I'm gonna tell you. Go ahead and get out. Because I saw plenty of red flags. I saw enough red flags to run a racetrack. But go ahead and leave. Like, it's like. And I'm older, so the generation was. Is different now. So, I mean, it's not cute. I know the young girls and boys love to fight each other and hit on each other. And they'd be, oh, we. We fight. We this and that. We'll be back together. No, because one wrong ladies gentlemen can end your life. Like, what if he hits you the wrong way? Or what if she hits you the wrong way? And they hit. They hit the wrong nerve or they hit the wrong, you know.
[00:27:16] Speaker C: Right, right.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: I mean, it ain't cute. I. I see a lot of them, I hear a lot of them. Oh, we fighting this. We fighting, and we gonna make up tomorrow this net. No, the first red flag you see, please run.
[00:27:28] Speaker B: Hey, what would you tell somebody that? Because a lot of times you see people who.
A lot of times they already then fell in love.
They didn't date it.
They didn't, you know, got in relation with each other. You know what I'm saying? And then that's when they Kind of see certain signs and stuff like that. The signs probably was there in the beginning. But you know, people good at hiding stuff, you know what I'm saying? Until they get what they want. And then before you know it, you six months in and you didn't got real feelings for this person, you know what I'm saying? So what would you tell somebody? Because that's a real life situation, man, to be in.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: I mean, it's always a way to get out. I mean, if you have to go get, if you have to move, change your address, change your location or do anything, I mean, it's a way to get out. A restraining order, no contact.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: But what if they don't wanna do that in the beginning because again, they didn't.
They got real feelings for this individual.
And a lot of times, you know, you know, think back like into, you know, your case. Like a lot of times people really be in love and that's the only love that they know somebody. Yeah. That know. And so you could, you know, you identify with them feelings. And it's hard to really.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's hard to break as much you're in love, but you have to. You have to. And I, I kept telling myself like, you know, some people suffer from low self esteem. I'm not one of those ones that suffer from low self esteem. But I kept telling myself like, I am better than this, I am better than this. And granted, I was hiding it from my family because if my family knew, they would have never let me go through this. And so I understand what you're saying.
[00:29:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:13] Speaker A: So my advice to a man or a woman, you got to break free. I don't care how much you love them. Like I said, love don't hurt. So regardless of how much you love them, you got to look at yourself in the mirror. If you got to constantly write yourself notes daily. I'm powerful, I'm this and that. Just a reminder. You just, you got to, you got to get out of it. If you're in a situation like this and you're scared to get out of it, there's always help if you see him one day.
Well, some of them love to tell you, I'm gonna kill you. Don't, don't brush that off. Take that as a, take that as a sign. He's not saying that just because, oh, he don't want you with nobody else. He's telling you that. So please take that as a sign. Like we've been together four or five years, he ain't gonna do that. He just talking. No, baby, he's not talking. He's. He's serious. You just don't know when he gonna do it. So I'm. I'm gonna tell y' all to get out the first. The first chance you can get out. I don't care how. I love how you love them. Get out. Love don't hurt.
[00:30:12] Speaker C: Also, too. I'm glad that you keep on saying that you referencing men and women, because, not to make light of it, and I'm sorry for laughing, but men go through this too.
Men go through this, too.
[00:30:24] Speaker A: Men get hit on, too. I can honestly say.
[00:30:27] Speaker C: I've seen it, and it definitely.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: They get hit on more often than people think.
[00:30:31] Speaker C: Yeah, and I'm laughing. But, y', all. That's not funny that men go through this. It's just. It's kind of different seeing it from a woman being abusive to a male. But also, man, if you're a man and you going through it, there's help for you as well.
[00:30:44] Speaker B: Most men are very dismissive of it because they feel like they. They men.
[00:30:48] Speaker A: They men, they're not. They macho. A woman ain't supposed to hit on it. But I will tell you this too. Now, men that get hit the first time he hits her back, she gonna make you look bad.
She gonna make you look bad, like, oh, he hitting on me. She gonna play the Ve not knowing it. She. She been cutting your rump all this time.
[00:31:06] Speaker C: She gonna play the vid, right? So, like she said, when you see to. To stop the whole super in love part. If you see red flags, like, just go ahead and leave, like, early on, like, before you. If. If it's at all possible. Cause I know it's easier said than done. If it's at all possible, leave before it gets to that point. When you see the red flags, there are signs.
[00:31:26] Speaker A: There are signs, like I said verbally, verbal abuse. That's a sign, because there's no way a man should be calling you out your name. And I used to say, don't call me something you don't want me to call your mama.
So if he all right with you calling his mama that, there's something wrong.
[00:31:41] Speaker C: Run, man, y' all getting in here first, man. And this ain't coming from no. This ain't coming from our perspective. This is a lady, like I said, who's been through this stuff. So please take heed to what she's saying, man. Like I said, it's a sad thing that.
See, like, I watch a lot of crime shows. We Deal with a lot of different people.
It's a sad case to see these stories and all of them don't end. That's disfortunate where these people live to tell the story. Some of these stories go horribly wrong. And there's kids left without parents. That's both ways. That's mom and daddy.
And especially when you got kids, like they said earlier, you gotta think, is this what you want your kids around? This is what you want your kids growing up seeing. So even if you don't have the strength for yourself, if you got people watching you, have strength for them babies, have strength for them kids. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the kids. Because like I said, man, it ain't good for no kids to grow up seeing this stuff. Because, like, we've already kind of gotten to the point of he saw this. So this is what he started doing. The cycle had a break somewhere. And she was the. She was. She's the one who broke the cycle, right?
[00:32:49] Speaker B: So, you know, I want to pivot a little bit because I know a lot of times when people do get to the point, right, and they say they make a conscious choice that they gonna leave and they come up with a plan to leave, right? I know during those times are the most dangerous times because the abuser normally, they just kind of want that control. They want you to kind of be there. And when you leave, for some odd reason, you know what I'm saying? End up in something catastrophic happened. Like they end up a fatality or something like that, you know what I'm saying? I seen that a few years back, a few years ago, this realtor lady, you know what I'm saying? Her situation, you familiar with that?
[00:33:33] Speaker A: She was supposed to be my realtor. Yeah, I'm very familiar with.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: And it end up in her losing her life, you know what I'm saying? And the thing is, she did the other stuff. From what I was told, she went and put.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: And she went in order. The judge went and granted, she went. She asked for it.
[00:33:52] Speaker B: Because during those stages, it's kind of hard to prove, you know what I'm saying? I'm just imagining it must be hard to prove that this person stalking the dog.
[00:34:01] Speaker A: I feel like if I go to the court and I'm begging for help and I'm pleading for help, there's no way you shouldn't grant me that restraining order or grant me that no order of contact or stuff like this. Like I'm asking the courts, like, help me I'm trying to save me and my kids life.
[00:34:18] Speaker C: So I've always felt like that too. Like, you feel like, why.
[00:34:21] Speaker A: Why are we not Grant. Why. Why is the judge is not granting.
[00:34:24] Speaker C: The justice system doesn't do enough.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: They don't. They don't serve us right. They don't do us right.
[00:34:28] Speaker C: They don't, man. That. And that's one thing. I was going to ask you that a little bit later, but since we talking about it, did you ever feel like the justice system did enough?
[00:34:36] Speaker A: I would not say they didn't do enough. Me. Like I said, the chief of police kept in contact with me and he. He honestly told me I'm going to get him. And the day that they got him, he called me and he was like, we got him. And after I hung up the phone with him, like, it didn't bother me as much now because you are you out of my life? You somebody else's headache now? So I. I'm telling. I'm just trying to warn her, like, oh, it's gonna happen to you. So it didn't bother me. So I don't feel like they failed me because he knew not to like, come around because he knew, okay, she gonna call the police if I show up at her door. This and that. This net granted. I want to see my kids. So now I got to meet. Take my kids and meet your mom and your mom has to take you. We don't. We don't need to see each other. So when they finally got them, they got them. So I feel like they didn't. They did me justice.
[00:35:21] Speaker C: That's. That's. In your case, that. That's a great place, man. Because a lot of these cases I hear about, man, and a lot of these different stories I hear with different women, man, like, it's like they, they. The. The normal thing is, well, we can't do anything until.
And like you said, like, man, what y' all need to see a dead body on the floor for y' all to believe.
[00:35:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:44] Speaker B: And in the case of the realtor, she. Man, listen, man, that whole situation is very sad, man.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: That's very sad.
[00:35:52] Speaker B: Like, you know, so many people that knew her situation, and the police still, like, for some odd reason, didn't protect us, protect her. The justice system still failed her in that sense. Now you got like, kids that don't have neither one of their parents, right? And that's the reason why I want to speak on that. Because a lot of times when someone seem like they didn't move on for Some odd reason, man.
And the abuser, the person who doing the abuse, for some odd reason, they end up getting more violent.
[00:36:25] Speaker A: It's a mental thing. It comes back because, like I said, when once I had started getting not. And I started dating, it was. It was a mental thing. It was eating him up, like, oh, she moved on this and that, but it's the control.
I can't let her do this. I'm gonna do what I want to do, and I'm gonna talk to 7, 8, 9, 10 women, but she can't have one friend. And it's controlling. It's a mental thing.
[00:36:47] Speaker C: It's like the narcissist.
We talk about this a lot.
When a narcissist lose control, they get unhinged. They start spiraling out of control.
Because for the longest, I've been setting her up. That's why we say the mental is just as important as the physical. Because I've been setting her up. I've been setting her the way I want her for this long. Now she's moving outside of these parameters that I set for her. And now I'm unhinged. Like she said, it's a mental thing. Now I'm going. It's making me trip now.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: It is a lot of times, like, we was just talking about childhood abuse, I guess another thing is drug and alcohol, ptsd, depression and anxiety, man. A lot of times with the perpetrator, they kind of experience have some of these things and add on to what you were just saying about narcissistic. Normally you would see a person that involved with being the abuser. Normally they have narcissistic traits a whole lot of times, man. And only thing I can say is I do want to plug this part in, you know what I'm saying, for the listeners.
So if you ever find yourself in a situation like this, you know what I'm saying? I just want to plug this right here. The national domestic violence hotline. There's a number that you can call. This is 800-799. 7233. Also, if you type person on really, you know, want to call, you can text, you can text. Begin B E G I N to 88788. I just want to plug that in for any listener who's involved in a.
[00:38:35] Speaker C: Situation like that, most definitely. So we're going to kind of go kind of further along with part of your journey. What did healing look like for you? Like, what did the actual healing look like for you?
[00:38:46] Speaker A: Jesus. Healing. Look. Healing was amazing.
Once I was. He was out of my life, I was out of his. I was a single mother with three kids, but I was that mother.
Anything my kids wanted, they needed, I was their mother. I had. And I'm. I'm grateful to say I have a good support system. My family, my dad.
I have an amazing support system. So fast forward a few years down the line, I'm. I. I'm happy.
I'm just, you know, amazing. It's amazing, like, I don't have to go do this again.
But what it did do to me, it affected me. I didn't want to love right now, you know, Like, I don't. I don't want to love. I. I just want to do me. I don't. I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm not affectionate anymore. I'm. I'm like. To the point. Like, it used to be when a guy was dating, like, he would go to hug me, and I'm jumping, and he was like, well, what's wrong? Like, yeah, it. It's. It was traumatic because now I'm to the point I don't even show affection. And I hate that about myself because he took that from me.
[00:39:52] Speaker C: And you still deal. That's. That's currently.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: That's something current. I still deal. My husband will tell you I don't show affection.
[00:39:57] Speaker C: Do you do therapy for that?
[00:39:59] Speaker A: No, I haven't been to therapy. I really had on. God was my therapist. I. If y' all don't know how much I pray day in and day out, like, God removed, you know, certain situations and certain people.
So time goes by, things change, people change. Fast forward. It was. This happened to me 20 years ago, and now to this day, me and my kid's father are just getting to the point where we speak to each other now. We can speak to each other. And I hated it. I hated it had to be like this.
[00:40:37] Speaker B: But, I mean, you ever had a level of hate from.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I hated him. I. And I know hate is a bad word to say, but I hated him. Like, I was. To the point to. I was even trying to free his wife, like, telling her, like, it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen to you. This gonna happen to you. And she used to tell me, no all the time, granted. I used to hear the story. Somebody come back and say, well, you know, he did this to her. You know, I said. I told her. So last year, she reached out to me and she started telling me her story, and she said, I told my mama, you Tried to warn me.
I said, yeah, I did. She said, but I was too stuck on thinking you wanted him. I said, baby, when he left me, I laughed at you. Cause I said that was your problem now, not mine.
[00:41:21] Speaker B: So normally it'd be like that, though.
[00:41:23] Speaker C: Yeah. And to this point right here, that's a great point you just made.
I know in the world that we live in nowadays, it's kind of like it's cool to be in some type of drama, beef, whatever, man. If a lady that's dealt with domestic violence from a certain person or a guy that's dealt with domestic violence from a person and they trying to warn you, please take heed into their warning, because everything ain't about I want that person. Or sometimes that can be the very warning that can save your life.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:41:52] Speaker C: Like, let's. Let's. Let's. Let's, like, really take heed to that. Because I'm sure if that lady had listened to you, I'm. I'm sure it would have saved her. And if somebody would have been able to tell you. Because you say y' all dating that, like, fresh. So if somebody would have been able to tell you, that would have saved you. So when somebody's trying to give you that info, trying to put you on game, listen to that, like, because everybody. Everybody ain't want that person. If. If I. If I was able to get rid of them for that. For that reason, trust me, I don't want them back.
[00:42:20] Speaker B: My man probably lied or, like, was lying.
[00:42:23] Speaker A: Yeah, he did. Now, that's.
Thank you. That's what she said. She said. And guess what? She said, I was listening to him and his mama. They talked so bad about you. I was listening to him and his mama. That's why I didn't. She said, but I kept telling my mom, I wonder why she don't like me.
She said she married. She moved on her life, but she still don't. I say it wasn't that I didn't like you. I said, you thought you had struck gold.
Not knowing you struck.
Yeah, blank. But, yeah. So last year, she finally reached out and we talked, and everything I told her, he did to me. She started seeing it. She called me back here a couple of months ago, and she was like, oh, you know, he just bought a gun. Said, oh, baby, you need to go ahead and leave.
[00:43:11] Speaker C: Once again, red flag thing.
[00:43:14] Speaker B: Can you buy a gun?
[00:43:16] Speaker C: I don't know if he.
[00:43:16] Speaker A: I. Let me tell. I don't know if he can buy a gun, but he has several. She said, he bought. He bought a gun. And she was like. One day they got into an argument and he pulled his gun. I said, yeah, I think it's time for you to leave. Why she hasn't left yet? I don't know. It's not the red flash, not my business. But I'm just like, I'm over. I mean, I feel sorry for you. I hate it. But I try to tell.
[00:43:39] Speaker C: And you've done your part.
You've done your faith based woman. You've done your part that God will command.
[00:43:46] Speaker B: Want to come before the start.
[00:43:47] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:43:48] Speaker C: Yeah. The teller. So you did what you had to do. So as far as you know, your journey, you said God is what got you through it. Did family play a role in that? Friends?
[00:43:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I had a best friend. Yeah, she played a major role in it. I think one thing that she told me too, she was like, if you ever take him back, I swear to God we gonna end our friendship. And this was my ride or die. And I wouldn't let nobody come between being my friend. So it took her to tell me, I promise you, if you take him back, this and that, this and that. And I think I listened to her more than anything. But yeah, like I said before, if I would have told my family and other people what was going on, I probably would have been out of it a long time ago. But I was embarrassed.
I was shamed to talk about it. Like that night he broke my nose. The next day we were at the store and I saw my God brother and he was like, why you got two black eyes? And I was like, oh, my baby hit me with a toy. And he was like, okay, granted, when he left me, he called my sister. He was like, she got two black eyes. So you mean telling me that dude around here hitting her, she right here looking like a raccoon And a dude not knowing, He. He figured it out like, ain't no. Ain't nobody hit you. No toy ain't hit you in your face.
So I feel like I should have reached out to my family a long time ago, but I didn't and see my family thinking, oh, he's amazing. He taking care of the house, he taking care of the kids.
[00:45:10] Speaker C: Okay, that's interesting. No, so, okay, so for us on the outside, looking at if. If what are some of the things that we should look for? Like if. Like, okay, so it looks one way. It looked like the family love him. He's this. But what is. What are some things that viewers us, we could look for? And a Person that's being abused, that might be a telltale sign of abuse.
[00:45:30] Speaker A: Okay. For one, if your family members starts going way, they don't come around. They always doing something. He always want them to do something. He always, he or she always with their family and they just stop. Distance themselves from your. From you. That's a sign.
Another sign is look for scratches and scars. Because I mean, yeah, I could say the cat scratched me, but it ain't, it wasn't a cat like you. It's. It's certain small things. You have to look for it. There are signs there.
When she always said, let me go cause he coming in this and that. Why you got to hang up the phone with your mama when your man come in the house? I mean, you know, it's, it's tough to look for even if you think it's simple.
[00:46:11] Speaker B: Like, that's interesting too.
[00:46:13] Speaker A: Oh, she, she hung up the phone because her, you know, her husband and her boyfriend in there and it no look for signs because he's, he's controlling somewhere. He's telling her he don't let's like mine. I don't want your family over my house. And that's another sign. His wife told me, she was like, oh, my cousin tried to come over here. And he told me if my cousin come over there, he was gonna act a fool.
So it, it signs to look for. I mean, but if you can talk to somebody, I mean, if, if you don't feel like talking to your family, find you a counselor, find you a close co worker that you can talk about it too. Because I mean, there is help. I, if I could help every victim that was out there and I could have been spoke on myself. I think the first time I did my first testimony, I was at church and I did it doing a Bible study one night. And the older ladies in the church, which is one of his, his grandma even told me, she was like, why didn't you ask for help? I said, because I was embarrassed.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: So, you know, another sign too. I, I realized too, man, like, especially if you got kids, you know, sometimes kids be like, you know, they, they behavior start to change too.
[00:47:20] Speaker A: They do. It does, it does.
Because. And we. But I'm glad you just made that point because after I had moved on in my life, me and my kids were staying and my son was getting bullied by three or four little kids and he would never tell me. He came home one day with a scratch on his face and the kids stayed in the same apartment complex we stayed in. And he never told me. And one day I went to the store and left him with my older cousin. And they called me, and they was like, you need to come home quick. Such and such. Got a knife trying to stab the kids that were bullying him, so.
[00:47:53] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It sounds. Because the kids are seeing it. The kids are seeing what's going on. And, like, no. No little girl should ever see her mom not being loved correctly. No little boy should ever see. Not know how to love a woman. Like, it's. It signs in the kids, too, man.
[00:48:12] Speaker B: Wow. You just said a whole lot, boy, especially.
[00:48:15] Speaker C: It ain't a lot of times that I'd be speechless, but, yeah, it's one of them times.
[00:48:20] Speaker B: Yeah, man.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I just gave y' all some of my journey. Like, it was a long journey with this. And, like, I. I always tell my daughter, you know, I. I have a daughter, and I always tell her, love don't hurt. And everybody love to say, oh, me and cheat. That's just what they do. Not all men cheat. I promise you. Not all men cheat. So you don't have to take that.
That might. He might be cheating on you and not hitting you, but that's still abuse. I'm sorry. It's still abuse because that's mentally. Because why. Why is it mentally abuse? Because why are you loving me and sleeping with somebody else? That's playing with my mind. So that's mental abuse to you too, right?
[00:49:00] Speaker C: Most definitely, man. Like, yeah.
[00:49:03] Speaker B: That's, like, when you call them out on it.
[00:49:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that one. They really get offended. Now you want to flip that.
[00:49:10] Speaker C: And, like. Like we said, the mental. The mental aspect of it. And then another thing, too, self love.
I want everybody to get to a point where, like, you love yourself so much that you don't allow yourself to go through certain things.
[00:49:24] Speaker A: Like I said, if you got to write yourself little notes, you got to. You got to remind yourself daily that, I'm that girl. I'm that woman.
[00:49:34] Speaker C: Most definitely.
[00:49:35] Speaker A: I'm. I'm. That. I'm her.
She is me, and I am her.
[00:49:38] Speaker C: Most definitely. Because you. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
If you love yourself enough to say, I'm not gonna let nobody do me a certain way. Your value is based off how you value yourself, because in order for somebody to walk over you, you got to lay yourself down. If you standing tall, they can't walk over you. So love yourself, stand tall and.
And just don't accept everything. Don't accept just anything. If you have a Standard for yourself when it comes to your relationship, when to it comes you want in a man, stick to your standard. Don't feel like it's too high or, or, or you got to compromise it. No. Love yourself enough to say, this is what I want and this is what I'm going to put up with, and this what I'm not going to put up with.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: And you got to pray. I promise you.
[00:50:19] Speaker B: Prayer, relationship with God.
[00:50:20] Speaker A: Prayer is the first weapon you, you going to use.
When I say I pray, I, I joke and I do a lot, but I pray more than anything. And if you in an abusive relationship, you got to pray. You got to say, God, please remove me from this situation. Now, how he gonna do it and when he gonna do it, we don't know, but he gonna do it. And I promise you. Y' all may think prayer doesn't work, but prayer works.
[00:50:45] Speaker C: Are you, you about, you about ready to preach right here? Well, I'm liking this. Play some shouting music up here.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: Okay. 52 minutes. Okay.
[00:50:54] Speaker C: So let me see, let me see, let me see. Cuz you, you have blessed us with a, with a lot today.
[00:50:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I ain't even going to fade, man.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: You done went every question that I.
[00:51:03] Speaker B: Had, you don't you the real hero, man.
[00:51:06] Speaker C: We want to salute you too, because it takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of strength to for one, leave a situation and for two, to speak about it.
It's not always easy revisiting this stuff, but we thank you for having the strength to actually come out here and tell your story.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: That's the healing part. That's how I know that you're in a place of healing, you know what I'm saying? You didn't heal through that because basically most people who has experienced that, it's still being embarrassed about speaking on it, you know what I'm saying? And, and you, you are able to speak on it and you know, not from a place where you at, and also to help others who going through it. So you know what I'm saying? That's how that was one of the signs that I, I, I, I realized too, if someone is in a place of readiness, speak about it and you already know they didn't kind of heal through that, you know what I'm saying? It was one of the first signs.
[00:51:55] Speaker C: And any, any, any trauma, that's, that's residual trauma. We pray that you get through that and that God work with you in like, you overcome that.
If you, if you, if you trying to overcome anything for the Viewers, listeners, seek therapy, seek help, but seek godly counsel as well.
Like she said prayer, just be sometimes surrounding yourself with people who've been through similar stuff so they can kind of help you navigate. Like, it may be embarrassing, it may not feel good to express it, but get you some help. Like, because there is one. Is one part to leave the actual physical of it, but the mental of it, those scars are still there. And some of those scars you need help with getting that heal. So don't be afraid to reach out.
[00:52:44] Speaker B: And just to plug into the last little part too, as well. Man, you're not the only one who going through this. There's others going through this. So I know sometimes in a place where you at, you feel like, you know, you isolated. Nobody understand.
Like, nah, like it's others just like you. You know what I'm saying? And it gonna take the courage of you not only to help yourself, but also help others. And so don't feel like. I know sometimes it can feel like you in a place of isolation and you by yourself and you just gonna be going through this forever. Nah, you know, you're not.
You know what I'm saying? You're not gonna be going through this forever, you know what I'm saying? And do it for yourself.
You wanna do it for yourself, do it for your kids, if you have kids. Know what I'm saying? But you gonna come, you gonna come out of this though?
[00:53:30] Speaker C: Most definitely. You got anything? You the guess you.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: I said what I said, if you going through it, men or women, Like I said, it's not just women.
Seek help. Talk to somebody. Look for the warning signs.
Pray.
I know you may say I've been praying six months now and God ain't did nothing yet. He's still cutting my tear. She's still cutting my tail.
It's gonna. It's gonna work out in the end, I promise you. You're not alone in this. But it's. It's resources you can find, you can reach out to. He gave you a number. You can reach out to shelters in. I mean, they're hotlines you can call, but like I said, look for the first red sign. And if you can. Get out, get out.
[00:54:17] Speaker B: Yes, sir. Listen, man, there you go.
I don't know what else to say, man.
[00:54:22] Speaker C: You know, like they say, she done ate down on that one.
[00:54:25] Speaker B: Yeah, she did, man. So listen, man, I want y' all to view, go over to our social media page at Kimi underscore pie on Instagram.
Also, Q, he got his page up. Make sure you check that out. Tik Tok.
[00:54:40] Speaker C: I don't know none of my. I don't know none of my stuff.
[00:54:42] Speaker B: I'm honest with you.
[00:54:42] Speaker C: I learned, though. I'm learning for y' all right now. I don't know it.
[00:54:46] Speaker B: All right, y'. All. Hey, listen. Always, man. Thank you for listening in. I'm your host, B.
[00:54:51] Speaker C: And I'm Q to Don.
[00:54:53] Speaker B: And we out.
[00:54:54] Speaker C: Yes, sir.
Sa.
