“I’m not heartless, I just expect what I’m paying for.”

[00:00:10] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What it do y', all, you know, already know what it is. [00:00:14] Speaker B: This is your host, B, and I'm Cue to Dawn. [00:00:16] Speaker A: And this is the Kimi podcast. Listen, man, I want y' all to do me a favor, because I'll be checking the Instagram, and I. I really want you all to really connect, man, as our listeners. You know, you all really important to us. A lot of things that we do kind of behind the scenes, even up to date episodes we post on Instagram. So I want y' all to check it out. It's Kimi Underscore Podcast, and we also got links on there with, like I said, different episodes. And then we got a questionnaire. I really want to highlight the questionnaire part because I really want y' all to kind of be engaged and. And connect with us. Even if you want to get on the podcast along with us or you got any subjects that you want us to kind of talk about, man, listen, we here for y'. [00:01:05] Speaker B: All. [00:01:05] Speaker A: With that being said, man. Q. Hi. Everything, brother. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Let me see. Everything going pretty well. I ain't really got nothing new going on, man. Everything going pretty well. Can't complain. How about you? [00:01:20] Speaker A: Oh, man, honestly, I don't know where to start at. I'm gonna tell you, man. One of the struggles that I'm having right now is navigating parenthood with my daughter. And I'm gonna tell you one. And my son, too, as well, man, I ain't gonna school him. Cause he, you know, he can be a little knucklehead. But, man, I'm gonna tell you one. Having a daughter, right? And you know how you was as a male growing up, and then you kind of see your daughter kind of going through the same thing, so. But you get to see the other side of it. Mm. [00:01:55] Speaker B: That's tough. [00:01:56] Speaker A: So one of the toughest thing ever, man. Just kind of navigating and not, you know, come at her from a judgmental place, you know what I'm saying? But just having a conversation and trying to not be so aggressive and come at her and so a certain type of way. Because, again, I didn't kind of show the ropes. I'm like the cheat code, you know what I'm saying? For as a male, giving her insight with men. But, you know, once you kind of fall in love, you know what I'm saying? Everything go out the window, man. [00:02:37] Speaker B: I'm gonna be honest, though. Shout out to all y' all parents, man. Cause I think that's one of the hardest things to do because you don't never know if you're doing too much. You don't know if you're doing enough. And then, you know, the way we grew up is a little bit different than the way they grew up. So, like, trying to find that healthy balance, and then. It ain't no playbook. What worked for one parent and their kids might not work for your kid. What worked for one of your kids might not work for the other kids. So you gotta be able to just fine tune for each situation. So shout out to y', all, man. That's something that. I mean, I think it's very tough sometimes. [00:03:12] Speaker A: You don't know if it gonna work until, you know what I'm saying, they get it, you know, because, you know, again, a lot of times, like, you know, I identify certain struggles I. I had when I was growing up, right? So my daughter and I identify certain things within her moms. Me and her moms ain't, you know, ain't ain't together, so, you know what I'm saying? And it been like over 18. 18 years ago, but, you know, basically. And my daughter stayed with me, you know what I'm saying? And so. And she been staying with me for the last few years. So, you know, a lot of things, you know, I got a chance to kind of really zone in on her about certain things and stuff like that, from a man perspective. But also, it just been. Yeah, it really been kind of tough, though. But the thing I really, really want to highlight is the fact that, you know, identified that she struggled with certain things. And you allude to it in our group chat with boundaries, you know what I'm saying? Creating healthy boundaries and stuff like that and that, you know, and that's one of the things she struggled with. And so ironic, you know, I struggle with that too, as well, you know what I'm saying? And like I was saying, like, I was able to kind of help her navigate through that. And it's always gonna be a constant thing. Like I told her, one of the things ain't gonna never go away, you know what I'm saying? Like, creating boundaries with people, you know what I'm saying? One of the first things for your sanity, because if not, like, a lot of times, you know, sometimes she get burned out, and then she go in her room, and then, you know what I'm saying, she be there for about 10, 12 hours, you know what I'm saying? Just because she be in performing mode for other people. And that's one of the things I told her to Help with. But when it comes out of a relationship. And my son, he's so smart to say he's so young, you know what I'm saying? He helped me. I mean, even though we kind of been through that lane before growing up. But he was just saying, like, it's a pressure with young kids, man, with, like, you know, having somebody, you know what I'm saying? Having a boy, you know, if they ain't got nobody, then they kind of, you know, is bored, you know what I'm saying? [00:05:20] Speaker B: With young kids. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Yeah, with young kids, huh? [00:05:23] Speaker B: How old is he? [00:05:24] Speaker A: Thirteen. But he would just explain it to. [00:05:27] Speaker B: Me, like, they been, like, seriously dating. Like, they're thinking they should have somebody. I'm asking. Cause I really don't know. [00:05:36] Speaker A: Yeah. In order to, I guess, for them, you know what I'm saying? I guess to pass time by, you know what I'm saying? Or when you in school, like, say, Vincent, somebody see you talking to somebody for a long time. Oh, y' all must be dating. And then he was like, you know, most of the time they get pressure into, like, you know, being with a person ain't really, really nothing, you know what I'm saying? But then they get a little different in high school because you got, like, that peer pressure. [00:05:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's real. [00:06:00] Speaker A: Especially with all your friends got somebody, and you just feel like you gotta have somebody, you know what I'm saying? [00:06:05] Speaker B: That it's kind of crazy to me, because this. It's. It's crazy in the generations because we didn't feel that pressure. Like, we. We talked to people, we had girlfriends and stuff, but it was just because we wanted to. It wasn't no. It wasn't no social status. It wasn't major. It didn't mean nothing. Like, it wasn't no thing. With, like, at 13 years old, you kind of got to have somebody that solidifies something. Like, we just did it because at that point in time, you're. You're a young male, you're a young female, you're interested in the opposite sex. So you're around this person, you at school, you know, that just puppy love stuff. But it wasn't no pressure. I think these kids are growing up way too fast, man. I think social media influences in school, peer pressure, like, but the rush to grow up so quick. I've never seen nothing like it like it is now. And I don't. I don't understand where it come from. But it's probably. When we were younger, it seemed like we were in a rush to Grow up quick. So the same stuff that. That looks unfamiliar to us. I'm sure when our parents was watching us, it looked unfamiliar to them. But I would tell any child, man, be a child long as you can, because when you get grown, bro, that's the rest of your life, like. And when you get grown, you're gonna wish for these, man. You'll be surprised how many times we sit around like we might be in the hood or something, like, talking like, boy, we used to do this. Boy, they don't. The kids today, they don't remember this. Boy, we used to have fun. We used to. Boom, boom, boom. Boy, when you get grown, some of the same people that you grew up with every day, man, when you see them, it's like a reunion, because you don't even get time to really see those folks like that. So if you're a child, man, just like, really, really, like they say, stay in a child's place, man. You adulting to come quick enough. And when it comes, you're gonna realize, boy, adulting ain't what I thought it was. Yeah, I don't care if you got all the resources in the world. Adulting still is not what you think it is. So, like, man, it'd be plenty of times where I be sitting there like, boy, the old days, I ain't appreciate them as much as I should have, but, boy, I wish some of them days could roll around again. So, man, I don't know. These new. Like I said, the new generation, they're a little bit different. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Is a lot different. So, yeah, that's. That's kind of part of my little, you know, thing I had going on for this week, really, over the. Over the weekend. But, yeah, like, that. That's. That's really it, man. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no. They ain't really. I got one more for you. What happened with you? Cause I see you still ain't off that in the group chat. What happened with this business thing? [00:08:26] Speaker A: Yeah, man, I'm glad. I'm glad you said that, man. Like my shout out to Trey, man. Millionaire tk, man, you know, before I even put anything in the chat, basically, you know what I'm saying? I came across a little situation with Business Wise, and I reached out to the young lady, and she didn't respond back, but she eventually responded back, but it was like, you know what I'm saying? Like on some next day type thing, you know what I'm saying? And then I respond back to her, and then she ain't never respond back. And so you know, basically with that, you know, I. I ran it in the video, I mean, in the. In a group chat about it, you know what I'm saying? And got y', all, you know, y' all opinions on it. And like, basically, you know, when. When Millionaire said he like, man, B, you just gotta have, like, compassion for, like, you know, you know, saying, you know, business owners and stuff like that, you know, And I was thinking to myself, like, I. I get it, but I ain't never in my life heard business owner, you know what I'm saying, had that. That perspective on things, you know what I'm saying? And that junk just had trigger something. I even let my, you know, I was talking to my old lady about it. She was like, what? Oh, hell no. Like, and like, me, you know what I'm saying? Me and her, you know, click like that. Like, you know what I'm saying? We. We got like, you know, we different. But when it comes down to business, man, like, we. We on the same wavelength on it, you know what I'm saying? And I ain't even gonna lie. Like, we strive for perfection, you know what I'm saying? And so with, you know, I just couldn't believe that he even said it. And ain't nothing in my mind gonna change that. Like, even he throws. And then he want to throw Bible scriptures at, like. And then I realized, like, the Bible scriptures that he was throwing at it, like, you know, reading through it, man, it was for a specific context of it, you know what I'm saying? Like, bro, like, how you gonna throw that right there with. And put business behind that, that and that in that specific scripture, it was for, you know what I'm saying? Different context, different moves. So, you know, I just went buying that. Sometimes I be feeling like, you know what I'm saying? Maybe I be saying stuff, stepping on toes, and I probably step on his. On his toes, and he came with a defense like that, you know what I'm saying? But if. If only thing. My thing is if you want, you know what I'm saying? You want better, you do better, you know what I'm saying? Don't expect no customers to feel like, you know what I'm saying, they should have compassion for a business owner. Like, don't, you know, for me, you ain't never gonna get that from me, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not never gonna have compassion for it, like, you know what I'm saying? For no business owner. Like, I mean, I gotta have compassion for every damn Thing that. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I. My car, you know. You know what I'm saying? Like, I brought a car and you know, and it came from the manufacturer and jacked up, like, I'm gonna have compassion for that. That's. Man, no, no, man, I. I can't. I ain't feeling that. I ain't never gonna feel that. [00:11:26] Speaker B: So in trade defense, man, I think like, you, You. I think what. What him and I was trying to do is, Is see it from a different perspective because you could use in life, even if we feeling some type of way to kind of like, grow, even though it might not be applicable to that scenario that you. That you speaking about, we can still pull some growth from that. But as far as compassion go, man, one day you might be a business owner and might need some compassion from somebody. [00:11:54] Speaker C: So. [00:11:55] Speaker A: But I ain't expecting that, though. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Now you're not expecting it, but still. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Like, I ain't expecting that in life either, though. That's true. [00:12:01] Speaker B: But at the end of the day, if you, if you. If you preach a certain message and you live a certain way, that's how you. That's where your test come in at. And, And I agree with you 100. Because I would have been mad too. Like, I'm not. I'm not. See what A lot of times what people like to do is take the human emotion out of. Even when it comes to spiritual stuff, they like to take the human experience out of it. You're still a human. You still have emotions. Now we can also learn how to better deal with those emotions and, and, and. And kind of, you know, find a way to adjusted. But at the end of day, you have every right to be mad as a customer. If I'm reaching out to you, if you're reaching out to somebody and they're not responding to you or, or they playing that game. But like I said, every moment could be a teachable moment of how could I have dealt with this? Or let me try to get myself. Because I'm getting furious. I'm getting, like, frustrated. Like, and that's like, when we go out to eat, like, my girl would be like. Like, if. If it's taking, like, the example that you use, if it's taking too long, bro, I ain't feeling that. Like, I'm not feeling that. Like, especially when you make eye contact with me and then you look away like, I'm getting mad. But also, too. That's when I have to check myself like, yo, be patient. You don't know what they got going on in that, in that bag. You don't know if they short staff, you don't know if they got the right amount of food back there, if they inventory is right. So if it's that displeasing to me, I need to get up and leave. Yes, that's an inconvenience, but sitting up there mugging somebody for me at that moment ain't gonna do no good. That's when I have to take a self observation like, okay, let me find something else to put my mind on besides me waiting on this fool. [00:13:35] Speaker A: And I get that part and let me clarify some stuff, man, you know what I'm saying? Like, I always handle things in a professional manner, you know what I'm saying? [00:13:43] Speaker B: Most definitely. [00:13:44] Speaker A: But I'm gonna tell you just because you know what I'm saying, like things might not be right. Like it's some consequences to that, that set off a chain of reaction. And, and just to give some context to, to this whole thing that we're talking about, I start off with saying effective communication can, you know, you know what I'm saying, affect the communication can, can get people to the point that, okay, they can't kind of understand, you know what I'm saying, right? So, so if you don't effectively communicate certain things that like, you might have some issues on your end, then where did you know what I'm saying compassion come from? That's basically what I was saying, right? [00:14:25] Speaker B: And that's why I took the tone that I took and I was like, bro, now that you explained it like that, like I could see it like. Cause my thing is this, like you said, effective communication. If you are backed up, give me a chance to have compassion for you by letting me know what you got going on. Cause now with that lack of communication, now I'm not knowing what you got going on. So now it feel like now you like, bro, what you got going on? Like, okay, if you say, if I'm ordering a cup from T's cup, and so I done send in the pictures I want, I done send in everything I want. Now all of a sudden I'm like, hey, I want to make a change to this. And all of a sudden T don't respond no more. Now T got me feeling some type of way instead of just saying, hey man, I'mma get to your cup, I got a few cups on back order. Communication is a big thing and I feel like as business owners, the systems that you have in place, you, if you can't do it yourself. You need to have somebody that can. That can. Hey, an assistant. Like, I'm sorry, Like, you might not have the bread for it, but this could ruin your business. Bad communications can ruin your business, especially when you're doing it yourself. Like, you're not a multimillion dollar company, so you're doing it yourself. So you need to have good communication or get you an assistant. Because when you have customers just in the dark about what's going on, then, you know, you like, bro, that's bad business. [00:15:44] Speaker A: No, communication is bad communication. [00:15:46] Speaker B: Right? [00:15:47] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? And so that's basically how all that kind of came about, you know what I'm saying? No communication lead to me overly thinking, creating anxiety in me, and then be like, you know what? I'mma just. And you know, it is a great spirit. You know what I'm saying? I agree. You do give people great spirit. But, man, at some point in time, I don't know how many great spirit you can give. [00:16:08] Speaker C: Can I chime in here? [00:16:09] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can chime in. Absolutely. [00:16:11] Speaker C: No, as a business owner, you know what I'm saying? Just real quick, like, we gotta be okay if our customer isn't okay. And let me explain that. We gotta be okay with them complaining to us. We gotta be okay with them saying, yo, look, this is how we want it done. We have to adjust to our customer, our customers paying for a service, they're paying for their food, whatever it is that they're paying for. We need to be able to be on top of it as much as possible. And I try. I try. And I'm not always the greatest at it, but I try my hardest to make sure that I communicate effectively. I try to listen to what people are saying so that I could find ways to do it so that I can like, you like something that we did. Recently, I changed how I do the scheduling situation, and it seemed to have helped most people because of the amount of time you have ahead of time to see everything that's going on for the entire month. But that's from people saying, hey, man, we can't wait till the last minute. We can't wait till this, we can't wait till that. So I could get mad about people complaining to me and being like, this is how I always do business. This is how I've always done it. Or I could adjust, monitor and adjust. And I think that especially in this area in Florence, for some godforsaken reason, businesses want grace on things. You shouldn't get grace On. [00:17:32] Speaker A: Mm. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Mm. [00:17:35] Speaker C: Businesses want grace on things. You shouldn't get grace on yo. Like, if you don't have this item, it's something called. I worked in the restaurant industry. It's something called 86 in it. That means the cook says, we don't have the items to cook this thing. Hey, tell the servers there's a 86 on spinach dip. Okay, cool. So the waitresses know when they come into work. We. We don't have spinach dip. So when the customer says, hey, I want to order spinach dip, they go, oh, that's 80. I'm sorry, we don't have spinach dip. Would you like something else? Rather than ordering the spinach dip, waiting 20 minutes to come back and tell me that you ain't got the spinach dip. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:14] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? [00:18:15] Speaker A: So it's just. [00:18:16] Speaker C: It's. We as business owners, you have to be proactive. And it's not saying that you're going to alleviate a bunch of the issues. But we gotta be okay. If a customer ain't okay and he's telling us he ain't okay, or she's telling us he ain't okay, and then we gotta monitor and adjust and figure out how we're gonna make it better for them in that moment. Because guess what you can't do? You can't eat the food and pay for it later. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Mm. [00:18:45] Speaker C: They ain't gonna give you no grace if you ain't got the money to pay them for the food. [00:18:49] Speaker B: That's true. [00:18:51] Speaker C: But you want me to give you grace as a business because you not doing what you supposed. What you don't. What you don't want to do or what you don't are not good at doing, well, then get out of business. If you don't want to deal with. If you don't want to deal with customer complaints, get out of business. Because everything ain't personal. If I came here to eat, I want my food in a reasonable time. I want the food I'm going to. Because you're not about to take it off my bill, especially if you bring it to me late. The majority of these places here in this area are not going to say, hey, I'll take 50% off. [00:19:24] Speaker A: They down. Sure ain't gonna take 50% off. They might be 15. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:19:28] Speaker C: I'm telling you. And then. And then you're not gonna take 50% off when the lowest thing on your Damn menu is $40 and you screwing up trying to get me my food. [00:19:42] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying. [00:19:42] Speaker C: I'm not gonna say the establishment, but I went somewhere and I ordered a Tuscan pasta. Tuscan chicken Pasta Alfredo. [00:19:50] Speaker A: I already know. [00:19:52] Speaker C: And I ordered a spinach dip. I was there maybe 45 minutes. Lady said, hey, you ordered an Alfredo? I said, yeah. She said, we got the Alfredo, but the spinach dip ain't ready yet. [00:20:08] Speaker B: After 40 something minutes. [00:20:09] Speaker C: Yeah. How was the spinach dip? [00:20:11] Speaker A: Well, that's the appetizer. [00:20:12] Speaker C: And I said. I said, ma', am, I said, how is it? How is the. That done? Well, they just found out that they don't have the stuff to make the spinach dip. What? So do you want. Somebody's gonna go to the store and get the stuff and come back and make it. Do you? It's gonna take about 20, 25 minutes. Y' all could keep that. Just take that off my bill. Let me just eat this pasta. Thank you very much. I appreciate it, bro. [00:20:33] Speaker B: That's ghetto. That's ghetto. I'm sorry. [00:20:37] Speaker C: And that's not to. That's why I won't say the business I went to. But it's the norm in this area. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Is the norm. Any restaurant come in this area that stay here for a couple months, it get run down, man, like, eventually. [00:20:51] Speaker B: And. [00:20:52] Speaker A: And service does. [00:20:53] Speaker B: And also, too, the guy, y' all don't see him. But the guy that was just talking. He's not just talking. Like, I'm tell you something, without putting the business out, this guy stand on everything that he just said. Anytime we have ever came with a complaint with. With anything, it has never been a hostile approach by him. Like, he. All in his feelings. None of that. Anything that we've ever came with, he. He's addressed it and he's fine tuning. And. And. And I want to say I appreciate it. [00:21:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I appreciate it. [00:21:22] Speaker B: Cuz a lot of times in business relationships, it don't go this well. A lot of businesses in. Because like he said, a business owner, they want grace. And. And, you know, we try to offer grace, but they want grace. And then they don't expect to have no complaints. They. We've always done it like this. And sometimes if you've always done something away, it might not be working anymore. It might have worked for 20 years, but the last 10 years, y' all been feeling so. [00:21:44] Speaker C: Exactly. And if your business isn't growing, there's a reason why your business isn't growing. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:21:49] Speaker C: And so if you taken these, like you say, if you're my customer, and you're saying, hey, look, this is A complaint. And then even if it's just you, somebody else might feel that way, but hasn't expressed it. I need to make the adjustments, even if it's just for you. And this comes from what? This comes from the big businesses. This ain't. You know what I'm saying? People be like, man, fast food, Burger King, McDonald's, how are they still in business? And in these smaller owned businesses. And you can't stay in business because everybody. It's not a corporate mindset of the customer is first. If my feelings, the customer is first. Whatever they got to say, whatever we got to do. Because if this customer don't come back, that's one less customer I have. [00:22:38] Speaker B: And also, too, I just watched to. To your point, I was watching a video about a guy with a food truck the other day, and he said, and. And this. It was so profound. He said, most businesses think they're just selling food. You're selling service. Because a lot of people, if your service is bad, I don't care how good your food is, I'm not coming back. It's a lot of business that went under because they feel like they. I can afford to lose that customer. So you never make the changes. So I can afford to lose that customer. Then another customer get mad. Then another customer leave. So after a while, everybody start leaving. And now you looking. You got to start doing bogo sales. Buy one, get one free. Because everybody leaving. [00:23:15] Speaker A: And your business is. This is. This lady, man, I be following on Facebook. [00:23:22] Speaker B: And. [00:23:22] Speaker A: And she got. She had. She has a food truck. And I ain't want to call the name out, man, but yo, and you know her, you know what I'm saying? Like, y'. All. Y' all probably know her, you know what I'm saying? Cause, you know, she kind of heavyset, you know what I mean? But, boy, listen here, man. They say her attitude is horrible, you know, but at the same time, you know, you know, in this area right here, she don't do this area no more. She gotta go somewhere else. She gotta go to a whole nother area. I see she was in North Carolina, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, and she probably selling out there, but eventually, at some point in time, it catches up with, like. Yeah, it catch up with you. [00:24:02] Speaker B: And then once you get that name, once you get that title and that label, bro, I'm gonna tell you, people can go spend their money elsewhere. [00:24:08] Speaker A: Yeah, they can. [00:24:09] Speaker B: And if your attitude is bad, if you hard to deal with, bro, people don't have to Spend their money with you. Like, and that's. It's a luxury for people to come to your establishment and spend their money to. To participate in anything that you're doing. Like, it's a luxury. Like, and these business get. These businesses get this mindset of is. Is your pleasure to be dealing with me. Yeah, I don't spend money, you don't make money. And, and yeah, you looking at me as just one person, but chances are if I have a complaint, more than likely there's other complaints as well. And if you don't ever address it, then, you know, eventually you're gonna be out of business. And then where did I go wrong? [00:24:44] Speaker A: Social media make it hard too hard for business owners too, though, you know what I'm saying? But I get the greatest part, you know, having compassion. Because like, for instance, when new restaurants come. Come into town, then people normally, you know what I'm saying, the food might be bad one time and then they were like, it went all that. You know what I'm saying? Okay. That's where the grace part come in. And then most of the time, these new restaurants, especially the ones that, you know, I didn't went to recently, you know, they. I love the way, especially the newest, newest one, you know what I'm saying? The eatery place the first of the month. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, I've been hearing good stuff about them. [00:25:25] Speaker A: Listen, man, like, you know, you had some people didn't like us, you had some people that did like it. But the most important part, I want to point out is the fact that how I love their customer service, for one. You know, customer service is like, for me is more important than the food itself. You know what I'm saying? Then the second part is, you know, they came around and asked us how it was and then, you know, you know, I mean, you could be completely honest. But the thing is they want that feedback where they can make their adjustments. [00:25:53] Speaker B: Right? [00:25:53] Speaker A: That's where I was. You know, the grace part, I can see the greatest part come in at. But you know, and going back to what he was saying, that's really what. What I was saying earlier on is effective communication can, you know, eliminate, you know what I'm saying, somebody, you know, feeling some type of way or any feelings about how you do things. I think if you effectively communicate, hey, listen, I can get to you, like specifically my situation. Hey, listen, I can do what you need me to do, but I'm just be upfront with you. It might take a while because I got a lot of oars in front of me instead of like, yeah, I can do it and take my stuff. And then like, you ain't get to it. And you know what I'm saying? And I know on my part, you know, I guess I, like my wife, always say, brian, you gotta start asking questions. You know what I'm saying? How long does it may take? [00:26:43] Speaker B: Turnaround time? [00:26:44] Speaker A: Yeah, that's big time. Like, yeah. And sometimes I don't get into all of that, you know what I'm saying? I just go off. Oh, yeah, I can do it. And never sometimes get the. [00:26:54] Speaker B: But also to it. Like you saying with businesses, especially when you're not a. A huge business, you can't chase every dollar. Especially when you can't perform on what you need to perform on in a timely manner. Because that's why you need. That's why policies and procedures. McDonald's. I'm using McDonald's in business. McDonald's don't work so well because their food is that great. McDonald's work so well because they have a system. You know, that when McDonald's just cook fresh all the time, it's gonna taste the same all the time. So as a business owner, you have to have systems in place and things in place to make sure stuff like this don't happen. If you got an email, you need to be checking your emails every day more than one time a day. There should be no excuse for lack of communication. If you know that you. That your turnaround time is sometimes a little bit higher, you need to go ahead and lay out all your stuff in the beginning. Like, hey, yes, I can do this. But normally turnaround time is from boom, boom, boom. If anything changes, then I'll let you know. So it's certain stuff that you could do as a business own. Like, and you can't operate a business like it's a side hustle. Like, it's a hobby that you're just trying to make money off of. And I tell people this a lot when they talk about, oh, I want to start a business. I said, no. A lot of people want to start side hustles. They want to start hobbies that make money. You can't run a business like you do T shirts. So, like, when I used to do T shirts, it'd be like, somebody hit me up on Facebook or something. Yo, I want this right here. I do it on demand. Boom, boom, boom. All right, we done. That's. You can't run business like that because business had to be ran efficiently because now you saying, I got I got the systems, I got everything in place to be able to run. And like you said, people will offer you more grace when they see that you're, you're actually communicating. You're trying, like, but when it's just, when it just like you just doing a hobby, like, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not the way you do business. [00:28:40] Speaker A: That's where the frustration part come in, you know what I'm saying? That's where I was with it. So like, I guess like, like I said in the last little test part that, you know what I'm saying? You know, it's a little. But it's a lot of both. But you know, especially dealing with somebody that's passionate about what they, what they want. That's a whole nother topic right there. Like dealing with somebody that's very passionate about certain stuff and very anal about how they want things specifically done. You know what I'm saying? [00:29:07] Speaker B: But even when it comes to communication with that too, even the passionate person, I understand communication is so big because it's world is, is worldwide. Because no business deal don't happen, no relationship don't happen. Nothing happens unless communication is there. So even if you passionate about your stuff, and I'm not talking about you because I'm sure that you know how to conduct yourself. I've done seen you conduct business. But even if you're passionate, the communication still has to be a certain way. That's why I think like a lot of people lack on that communication thing that's in relationships, jobs, that's, that's everywhere. Like communication is a thing that's. I don't even know how you would teach mass communication, but everybody need to go. A lot of people need to go back to the drawing board when it comes to communication because a lot of people don't know how to communicate. Like body language is part of communication. Like you said, no communication is bad communication. So it's a lot of people that don't communicate well at all and know and no sense of it. [00:30:04] Speaker A: So I'm gonna lie. Like this book that I, I didn't finish reading it and it called Man, I forgot the name of the book. I know it has something to do with not, not self awareness. Oh man, what a book I was talking about, it has something to do with, oh, emotional intelligence. [00:30:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Because I always say. But we talk about so much having. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Having, having emotional intelligence and sometimes you don't really realize how having a high level emotional intelligence can really move the Chain forward for you and your life and also include on better your communication with people from an individual perspective and from a mass perspective. [00:30:50] Speaker B: Break that down from people. Break that down. Like what you mean by that? [00:30:53] Speaker A: Like having emotional intelligence got moved to change. Oh, because you get to, you know, show all the, you know what I'm saying? Like empathy. And when you kind of communicating with somebody, you, you just kind of, you know, you listening more, you know what I'm saying? And before you get to the empathy part, like whatever individual saying to you, whatever they need, whatever they communicating, like, you listen to them without having the notion to respond, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, sometimes people hear people, like listen to people, but where they hear people but they ain't hearing, they ain't listening to what they saying. They, they basically ready to respond basically off of whatever answer they got in their head before they even listen to the individual. So having that key eye contact with a person, understanding them, you know what I'm saying, what they saying, what they communicating, and then reverbalize what they saying and just kind of go in more details like, you know, like even with deescalating situations and stuff like that, especially if you in a leadership role, knowing how to de. Escalate certain situation, understanding both parties and stuff like that, and it just kind of, you know, you feeling your way, but it basically, you know, you, you really in the moment when you talking with somebody, you know what I'm saying? And from, from, from the moving the chain part, it just kind of help you to articulate what the person's saying, you know what I'm saying? And executing. [00:32:22] Speaker B: So do you think that communication, good communication can be taught? Like, yeah, how, how would you just, for instance, how would you teach good communication? If you're a leader, you got two, two people that's under your, I don't want to say supervision. That's we not know, animals. You got two people that's under your leadership that's kind of having a little spout. How do you, how do you do communication with that? [00:32:46] Speaker A: Just, just basically, you know, well, first, first you just got, you know, you will have to be stern, you know what I'm saying? The situation, like eliminate, you know what I'm saying? Like, nah, stop. You know what I'm saying? This is what we gonna do here, you know what I'm saying? I'm gonna hear this person's side, I'm gonna hear your side, and then we gonna come together and, you know what I'm saying? And see what's going on, because most of the time, when somebody having a disagreement because it's miscommunicated, you know what I'm saying? What's really going on, you know what I'm saying? And when I say miscommunicated, like, nobody ain't listening to nobody. And you can tell when somebody. Like, even within my marriage early on, like, me and my wife used to shout at each other, but we ain't never. We wasn't gaining nowhere, you know what I'm saying? We left the situation like mad. She mad with no clarity, you know what I'm saying? So basically teaching people to. You know what I'm saying? Okay, all right, this is what we gonna do. Gonna hit his side, we gonna hit your side, and then we gonna come to a common ground, you know what I'm saying? And a lot of times, you know, your posture gotta be a certain way. You can't be overly aggressive and stuff like that. You just got the individual, like, how they are, the characters and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying? All of that really play in the factor when you really trying to de. Escalate something and just kind of calm everybody down. They might not agree, but you ain't trying to get into agreement. You just really trying to get them to understand each other in perspective. And then, okay, what we gonna do now to move forward, you know what I'm saying? But like, that book, you know, I just finished that book, man, and I ain't really had bad issues with. Well, yeah, I did early on. Like, I had some issue with communicating and communicating. Starting off with home, at home, communicating to my spouse, man, like that, really. And communicating to my kids, you know what I'm saying? And getting them to kind of open up about different things, even that still be a struggle. But like, that book helped me to understand just to sit still, being in the moment. Just be there in that. In that present moment right there. And then just listen what that person's saying and understand what they saying. Like, not. Not be like, well, this is how I feel. You know what I'm saying? But now, like, okay, I understand where you coming from. [00:35:05] Speaker B: So basically, like. Because a big point of what you're saying is the listening part and, like, being slow to speak. I think we. We in the culture now, we're like, everybody want to have the last word. Everybody want to say something. But being slow to speak. Sometimes a soft answer, turn away wrath. [00:35:21] Speaker A: But I think, like scripture right there too. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:23] Speaker A: That's definitely both of everything. You Just said like being slow to speak, you know what I'm saying? I don't know, I think that's in the book of James. And, and the last part you just. [00:35:32] Speaker B: Said, yep, that's definitely where I got it from, the word. I don't know exactly where it from, but I think like what you're saying is very important because I know a lot of times we get into self preservation mode. Somebody coming at you, oh no, I'm about to defend myself. And that's natural to want to defend yourself. But I think if we can agree that every time, we ain't gonna come to no agreement. Like you said, every time, we ain't gonna agree. Sometimes you're gonna have your viewpoint, I'm gonna have my viewpoint. But the thing is, can we respect each other viewpoint and be like, okay, cool. And then like you said, when we're into it, not talk at each other, let's talk to each other. And I think, you know, sometimes timing with arguments and heated situations is a big thing because we want to go ahead and get this hashed out right now. Sometimes hashing it out right now ain't the best option. And don't go to sleep with it on you. But the thing is, is, okay, you might be super mad right now, I might be super mad right now. So now we about to talk at each other. Because now both of us, we want to make our point. We're not being slow to speak, so we just, boom, we spewing out stuff. We in self defense mode. So I'm gonna defend myself. Cause I'm already mad and I feel like you coming at me. If we could ever just get. And that's basic stuff. It's way deeper than that. Like you said, body language, all that stuff plays a huge part. [00:36:44] Speaker A: It does, man. And the last little part I want to add in with that is 9 out of 10. Most time we take it personal with somebody coming at us a certain type of way, but really like the person. Cause like say for instance, I'm a passionate person sometimes, which that passionate turned into my energy, my posture, like my tone and everything else. But you know, and I'm saying all this because my wife be like, brandon, like, your voice just went up. But you know what I'm saying? I be like, right now I feel like I'm at a four, you know what I'm saying? But she be like, nah, your voice just went up. And so that plays a major part. And I know a lot of times people be like, dang to change for people and stuff like that. I just think it just being more, you know, you know, being effective with your communication and also toning everything else, man. Like that matters. Like, like can you imagine somebody like. I remember I read a book with td, one of TDJ books, man, and TDJ books. I can't even think of the book name because I ain't even read it the whole thing because the very first page I ain't hardly got past the introduction part because he was putting all the, you know, the big words in there. I gotta get my dictionary and then be like, hey, what, what is it? What is this? And I just think that understand your audience, you know what I'm saying? You know, like you, I mean most common people don't really know them big ass words that you put in this damn book, you know what I'm saying? [00:38:11] Speaker B: And then like with him being a Bible person, he should know the Bible say rightfully divide the word. Like I think it's might not be those exact words, but basically make it where the, where anybody can understand anybody. You don't want to talk over people head like cuz for one, it start making people mad. [00:38:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:27] Speaker B: It start making people feel some type of way and now they're not receiving what you're saying. I don't have to use these extravagant words to get you to understand the point. Because if you break it down in the simplest form, it's going to dawn on me a little bit more than, than you, than me having to stop, go look in the dictionary then, you know, try to try to figure it out. So you know, not talking over people here is, is a, is a major thing too. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And that basically. That basically. Really, man, just going back to what we was talking about, like just you know, effective communication plays a major part in all aspects of our lives, man. Like when you think about it like what you said earlier and I also, I absolutely believe that, you know, it can be taught. You know what I'm saying? It can be taught. You know, early on, especially with dealing with the youth a whole lot man. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm gonna tell you how my dad did certain things and like okay, how he communicates. So my, my parts had three boys, three sons, you know what I'm saying? And so his approach was for him to be aggressive towards us even with his words and verbiage and everything else because he was trying to establish a level like how lions do, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, this is my kingdom, you know what I'm saying, in a sense, but really, Ian really took all that, you know what I'm saying? And a lot of times, okay, like, with the youth that we have not grown up, you know, like what I realized, like, with mentoring the youth, man, like, if I have that type of attitude, aggressiveness, you know what I'm saying, towards them, that gonna push them out into the streets, man. Sometimes you gotta be kind of opposite. We do have a young man, a couple young guys, man, that come into the group. But this one specific one, man, he come in there with. He just angry, and you know what I'm saying? He just, like. He just come in like, he got an attitude. Like, I don't know what he suffered with in his personal life, man, but you know, my tone, my posture, even me one day, I said, man, man, come here, man, come here, come here, come here. You know what I'm saying? I tried to hug him, and he, like, he ain't want no hug. So I just went over there, not in a forceful way, but, man, I said, man, it gonna be all right, man. For real. He said, you're gonna be all right. And, you know, I hug him, you know what I'm saying? And for a split second, I felt that, like, the release, his energy, you know what I'm saying? Like, it just kind of like, at first, he was like this. And then when I hug him, I said, it gonna be all right, bro. Come on. It gonna be all right, man. And then his shoulders went down, like, he felt that releasing. [00:40:57] Speaker B: So it just communication, body language. [00:40:59] Speaker A: Yeah. That's why I say all of that matters, yo. All of that matters, man. At one point in time, I thought none of that really actually mattered. [00:41:09] Speaker B: It mattered. And then, even to your point about the young man, you'll be surprised at how these younger guys, I don't know where it happened at, why it happened, but a lot of them don't feel love. They never have felt love. And, like, I was listening to Youngboy one day, and he said in the song, I just want to be loved. Like, you will be surprised what that hug, what. What y' all do for those guys. Even though it might not seem like it's reaching anywhere, it probably goes a place where you. Where you wouldn't even think, man. So, like, even. Even though sometimes, you know, doing. Doing the stuff that you do can be discouraging, man. Keep on. Keep it up, man. Cause some things you have to chisel away at. Some things don't just. Don't just come off by. By in a Day, two days a week. Some things, man, you just have to chisel away at. [00:41:56] Speaker A: That's. That's a major point right here, boy. Cause some days it looked like we'd be relapsing. Like, some weeks it looked like we relapsing. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Like, you want to know what's crazy about relapses, bro? I was. I was. For my job, we went to a. We went to a simulation that's like, where you kind of like, put yourself in the shoes of somebody. But this simulation was for drug users. I'm not going to say addicts, drug users. They said those people normally relapse like nine or ten times before they get clean. And during that fight, a lot of them end up fighting alone. Because most people will stick with you for two, your mom and them, you know, close people, they stick for you about three or four. But after that, everybody lost faith in you. So you end up fighting this thing alone. So even though it seemed like those guys are relapsing, stick with them, man. Don't let them guys fight it alone, man. Cause what y' all do really matter. And y' all would be surprised at if, though. If those guys live a long time, if their stories is ever told by them, the impact that y' all had on those guys. Life, man. Because like I said, a lot of young males don't get. Don't. They don't feel love. I'm not saying nobody don't love them, but they don't feel it. I don't know why, but that's just. That's just how they be feeling. [00:43:08] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't even know what it. What, man. It just made me think about, man. This one particular church I went to when I was in my early 20s. And you know, this pastor, this specific pastor, man, he used to be like. At the church, he said he always like, brother Brandon. He like, how you doing? And then he used to be like, I love you now. And I ain't knew how to say it back. I didn't even know how to receive that. Because, listen, you know, growing up in our household, we. It's like. Like I. You know, when that. Them words ain't never been spoken, and I ain't. I. And I never. Honest, God, truth. Never heard that from a man. A man telling me that he loved me. And it almost felt like it was kind of like. Made me felt funny, man. I don't be real, like, major pain. That. Major pain or major pain with little buddy. [00:44:06] Speaker B: Hug him. Yeah, the little tiger dude. [00:44:10] Speaker A: Yeah, little tiger. You Hug him. He be like. He felt like all fuzzy inside. He be like. And he turned around and put him in the headlock. Yeah, that's how I felt like. [00:44:19] Speaker B: And it's like with some guys growing up to be 20 something and the pastor telling you, I love you, man. You're like, man, what's going on with this dude? Like, what he got going on? It feel weird, but it shouldn't. And the Bible said, in the last days of the love of many shall wax cold. And so I guess some people done got cold hearted. It's the way they was raised. I don't know what it is, especially for young black males. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. But man, it do be kind of tough like when you ain't used to that. Cause like, I used to see like in my hood where we from, we be like, they be like, love that nigga. Like, they won't say, I love you, bro. I got to the habit. Like, I'm kind of one that like broke the mold. Like, I love you, bro. [00:45:03] Speaker A: You gotta add that bro behind it. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Yeah, but nah, I say I love you, dog. I say I love you like, bro. Cause them, they know like, bro, ain't no, ain't no. Ain't no funny bone in my body. I don't play like that. So at the end of the day, like, bro, no, it's okay to say that. [00:45:17] Speaker A: I hear people, my brother even say, like, love, B. Love. [00:45:20] Speaker B: Nah, that's not real. That's not real. That's a. They might love you, but like, bro, what's wrong with saying I love you? [00:45:29] Speaker A: It's too hard, man. But that's exhausting being too hard. [00:45:33] Speaker B: It is like, you got to be rough. A rough neck. 24 7. Like, bro, everybody want to let their guard down. A lot of people don't know how though. But you know, nobody want to be hard. [00:45:43] Speaker A: Speak on that though, man. Like that. That how exhausting it is to be hardcore 24 7, man, you gotta think. [00:45:52] Speaker B: Most of these dudes is hardcore with their women. They hardcore with their kids. Like, like, let's say you with your woman, bro, to not be able to open up to your woman is crazy to me. That should be the one person that you feel comfortable enough to cry in front of it if it was a crying situation. And some people, it's so hard. Like, they wipe. If they do start crying, they wipe away they tears. Hard like, bro, you that hard that you can't even cry. Like, bro, that's a Guy giving human. [00:46:19] Speaker A: Emotion and you can't do it on that person. [00:46:21] Speaker B: Nah, bro, something is wrong with that, dog. [00:46:23] Speaker A: And I agree, something is very wrong with that. Something had broken me, man. I used to be able to cry. Hey, I remember even my mama used to say this, y', all, man. Cause she had. Like I said, my mom was a tomboy. I had three boys, then finally had my, my little sister. But I used to. I mean, it's a difference between crying and whining, huh? [00:46:44] Speaker B: Yeah, whining. [00:46:45] Speaker A: Whining is different. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I used to be a whiner when I was doing. Then I was a crybaby. [00:46:49] Speaker A: But my mom said, boy, you better. She bought it. [00:46:57] Speaker B: But see, I'm be honest. When parents do that, no knock on your mama. But it's a lot of parents that do that. But you, you mess your kids up when you do that. I'm not saying you should be crying and whining about everything, but how do you expect a five year old to fall and bust his knee to the white meat? He ain't supposed to cry at all. Because you go and tell him, don't, don't, don't. Boy, you better not cry. Now, with my nephew, what I used to do is if he falls and he cried. All right, man, you good. Wipe it off. [00:47:27] Speaker A: Shake it off, shake it off. [00:47:29] Speaker B: You good. [00:47:29] Speaker A: Hey, but you give him a moment though. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Yeah, you get your moment. Don't waller in it, don't waller in it. But it's okay to have emotion. This is God giving stuff. Like, we ain't above that. [00:47:36] Speaker A: Cause it's a difference when you water in it and you want some attention and you want some love, you know what I'm saying? I feel that too, man. But yeah, like so with me, man, I remember I ain't crying so long, man, and one day, you know what I'm saying? I was venting my wife about something. This was like probably our second year of marriage or something, man. I vented her, vented to her. And man, you know, I had a little tear in there. And boy, I cried. Boy, I cried for 20 minutes. Straight headache, bro. [00:48:12] Speaker B: That was probably much needed, bro. [00:48:14] Speaker A: Boy, hey. Cause I couldn't stop. Literally, I couldn't stop. [00:48:19] Speaker B: So how did you feel after that, though? [00:48:21] Speaker A: Boy, I felt so released and light, man. I felt so light. And that's when it kind of dawned on me, you know, them tears is releasing like on your life. [00:48:32] Speaker B: Because those tears are like weights. And the more they fall. I'm not saying, I'm not saying you should be crying about everything. But in certain moments, those tears are like weights. And the more they drop, the freer you become. It's like shedding pounds almost like. And if you ain't done that in years, just think about all that weight you got on, all those pounds you got on you that you never get out. So when they come, you like, dang, bro, I can't even stop it. Like, that's because that weight, I want. [00:48:58] Speaker A: To do that often, man. Like, even when. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm, you know, I'm meditating and praying to God you like, I want to do that a lot more often, you know what I'm saying? I just being in his presence and just, you know what I'm saying? And, and just tearing up by that, I ain't even gonna lie. Like, not in like a bad way, but just in a way where, I mean, not by crying. Ain't nothing bad about crying. [00:49:22] Speaker B: Nah, not at all. That's a real human emotion. [00:49:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, but, but you know what I'm saying? Most of the time, like, you know, and I think I gotta turn off this little lock that got in my brain since I was young. You know what I'm saying? That, you know, my, my, my parents, man, just kind of instilling us. Cause all the cry do. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. For men, I just think, you know, don't nobody want, like. And like I said again, let me reiterate, because some people always hear little snippets of stuff I say and be like, yeah, I didn't agree when you said men should be crying. [00:49:56] Speaker A: People be saying that. [00:49:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have people tell. I didn't agree with. I'm not saying you should be just walking around here just boohooing, but yo, if something touch you and it, it's okay, if tears roll, it is fine. You are like one thing about life, bro. You still have to understand. I don't care how much God you got in you, how much knowledge you got in you, how much money you got, you are still a human. You are still going to have the human experience. There is nothing that you can do while on this earth, while in this human body that's going to take away the human experience. You're still going to feel sad, you're still going to feel down, you're going to feel depressed, you're going to feel all of this stuff. So crying is part of the human experience. The shortest verse in the Bible is Jesus wept. That's John 11:35. If Jesus wept. What make you think that we are void of that human emotion? This is the strongest person ever. And Jesus wept. He whipped because he was feeling down. He whipped because he was sad. But he wept at the end of the day, no matter the reason, he wept. So it shows you right then and there. That whole notion of men ain't supposed to cry, how Jesus cry, but we ain't supposed. That's part of the human experience. So you gonna deal with that in life. So the whole notion that people are raised to think men don't cry, that's why y' all can't communicate now. That's why when you. That's why y' all can't express feelings now. That's why when you get mad, these young people get mad. That's why they want to go kill somebody. Because they don't know how to just communicate and say, yo, yeah, I didn't like when you did that to me, yo. I didn't like when you said that. I didn't like how you did that. Nah, I want to go drill. Because they don't. They. They've never been taught how to communicate as two men. Was gangster, but was really gangster, is for two men to be able to sit down and say, hey, bro, when you did that, I ain't like that. Or when you did that, I ain't like that. That way we ain't got to kill each other. That way neither one of our kids ain't got to cry. Cause we still here. [00:51:34] Speaker A: Yeah, that's gangster. I think that's the part of being hard like that. It numbs you, you know what I'm saying? And really, like, you almost like, AI really, you know what I'm saying? You like a robot. Cause you numb not to feel, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's the most realest thing ever, man. And that's something that I said I was, you know, I want to kind of tap into. There's a lot of stuff that I'm, you know, at this age, I'm shredding, shedding, you know what I'm saying? Old doctrines that, you know what I'm saying, I learned growing up and stuff like that, man. And, you know, I'm just shedding all of that stuff, you know what I'm saying? Realize, like, that's like, you know, change that been holding me back from being who God called me to be. And. And. And no, no disrespect to my parents or even my grandparents for the most part, because they did the best that they they know of, you know what I'm saying? But then as I kind of got older, I just realized there's a lot of things that I gotta, I gotta shed. You know what I'm saying? I ain't gonna lie. You said what the time looking like 53. [00:52:36] Speaker B: Okay, so. So they got this saying, and this is what I'm looking up now. It says it is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. That's by Frederick Douglass. If you do the work early and you teach these kids early, we don't have to be 30, 40 years old learning how to get in touch with our emotions. Because now you got a lady, you got kids that becomes everybody else burden to bear as well. Now they got to bear the burden of a man that don't know how to express his feelings. They got to bear the burden a wife got to bury the burden of a husband not knowing how to say he felt some type of way. The kids got to bear a burden of their dad not being emotionally available. That's why you do the work when you young. And because we got so little bit of time left. There's something that has really been pressing in my spirit discussed lately. There's been a wave of like depression and like people just going through like mental battles. And so today, well before the day, but I was looking at these things and the Bible says, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers and rulers, against dark rulers of the dark world. It's been a lot of spiritual warfare going on and, and people being so depressed, so down anxiety. And it's just, you look at the state of the world, you look at all the stuff that's going on and we just thinking like, it's just something. No bro, this is spiritual warfare. Because the Bible also says when the spirit of the Antichrist shall come, it shall mess with the saints mind, it shall mess with people mind. Like. And it's a lot of people that's going through mental battles and all of that stuff. Y' all go get help. It's a lot of people. I've talked to people, no lie this week that said, yo, they were at their wits end and they felt like giving up and they felt like being done. Man, get y' all some help, y'. All. Y' all like, we gotta quit talking about therapy if we're not gonna go and do the work. Y' all gotta go get some help. We get it. And then also too get with some faith, with some faith based people. Get in your word, start Praying more like really? And stop saying these cutesy prayers like Lord, thank you for waking me up this morning. Like that's how well and good. That's all great. Talk to God about what you really going through. Talk to him about your mental where you trying to get to but seek help y' all like because we, we really, we really. I've never seen depression like we seeing it now. And, and a lot of people, you know, you know you got the older generation, the old, the older people that's now this new generation, we. It's a lot of older people going through depression. Not the people that I'm talking about ain't no 20 something year old people. It's 40, like late 30s, 40s, 50 year olds really going through some stuff. And part of that is this. And this is what I want to hit on. And you hit on it earlier but I still wanted to save it. People pleasing boundaries is such an important thing. Because I feel, and I told the people that I was talking to, I feel as though a lot of those problems are because you are letting parasite spirits latch onto you. And the crazy part is, is if you should die, that parasite is going to find somebody else to leech on. Setting boundaries with people don't make you mean it, don't make you hateful, it don't make you none of that. It just says I love myself enough to not put everybody problems on me. Jesus died and he took on everybody problems. You're not the second coming to Jesus. There is no reason why having boundaries for yourself is a bad thing. And don't let nobody trick you and make you think you wrong for having boundaries. If, if somebody call your phone and every time they call you, it's a sob story, it's a bad story. You're not obligated to pick up that phone every time that person call. If every time somebody call you, they want something, they need something, you're not obligated to pick up that call. That don't make you a bad person. That don't make you less than if, if people are leeching off you and those parasites are clinging on to you, get them off you. There is nothing wrong with saying I love myself enough to get my peace of mind. Because that is something that you cannot buy. I don't care how much you shop, I don't care what you do. Because one thing about your mind being captive, you can go somewhere, that mind is still with you. Those thoughts are still with you. It's okay to look after your well being and your Mental well being. Like, I know I went on a rant just now, but I really had to say that, man, because it is like this mental spiritual warfare that we got going on, man. It's crazy. And I've never heard people talk about suicide as much as I've been hearing, hearing like and reading about it lately. Because it's a lot of people going through a lot of stuff. But I think a big part of that, like I said, is setting boundaries for yourself and allowing yourself to disconnect from people who, who mean you no good. Because if you steady pouring out to people and ain't nobody pouring back into you, hey, you going to be empty. Get your prayer, get a better prayer life, get you a journal. Write your feelings out if you got to. If you ain't got nobody to talk to, write your feelings out but seek a therapist. But if you can't until you get one, write your feelings out. Get that pressure off of you. And don't, don't, don't let nobody make you feel bad for choosing you. If it's your kids and they grown and they ain't trying to do no better, choose you. If it's your spouse, your partner, choose you. If they bringing you down at the end of the day, some things in life are going to change when you start choosing you. And that, that's really all I got on that one. [00:57:56] Speaker A: Dang. Well, I guess that basically is one thing I want to add into that, that what you're saying, like people dealing with depression, anxiety, especially around the holidays. A lot of times people lost loved ones around this time of the year and affected just by that alone because their life has been changed for you know what I'm saying? Forever. One of the things I realized how the enemy works sometimes he want to put you in isolation mode when you feel like you isolated, you know what I'm saying? A lot of times you feel like you got to deal with things personally by yourself, but nah, you don't have, you don't have to deal with it by yourself, you know what I'm saying? And that's the number one key thing too as well, for the enemy to isolate you and keep you in your head. Once you get in your head, I promise you, man, like it's a whole lot of stuff that you know, you probably thinking about and all of those are lies because why the enemy is a liar, you know what I'm saying? He deceitful. So you know, certain things he gonna put in your head about things. But find yourself a community of faith based community and you know what I'm saying, and go from there. That's my last little spill. [00:59:00] Speaker B: I love it. We done? We out of here. [00:59:02] Speaker A: Yes, sir.